Halo lotto tickets and lingerie nixed from marketing blitz
by Ross Miller 
{ Sep 19th 2007 at 3:56PM }
Sure, you might think the Halo 3 marketing campaign has been a bit excessive, but that was before you knew what ideas were rejected.According to a Reuters article, items that "did not make the cut" were Halo-themed lottery tickets and lingerie modeled after curvy artificial intelligence Cortana. And just like that, our dreams of laying in bed gaming while our significant others play two-dollar "Scratch-Off Plasma Grenade" tickets in a skin-tight hologram two-piece have been destroyed.
Also referenced by the article, though more likely a humorous example by the writer than an actual proposed marketing idea, were Covenant sippy cups and Master Chief pajamas. We're curious about Microsoft and Bungie's stance on Master Chief joining the "Got Milk" campaign: Times are tough, humans are dying. You're going to need more than a plasma rifle and Spartan armor to survive intergalactic civil war. You're going to need strong bones.
[Image from Ctrl+Alt+Del]
Reader Comments (Page 1 of 1)
FrankTheCrank @ Sep 19th 2007 4:02PM
Allright, I'll stop.
It was a couple of fanboy flamers who made me turn to the darkside.
No more tearing down the 360.
plyx @ Sep 19th 2007 4:13PM
I remember when the term 'flamer' meant something totally different. Or did it?
Zertoss @ Sep 19th 2007 4:04PM
I'd have bought and worn the Master Chief pajamas.
Neon Jebus @ Sep 19th 2007 4:09PM
I just want the Bungie logo toilet paper.
"We kick ass helping you wipe yours!"
Truepatriot @ Sep 19th 2007 4:09PM
i would have like to seen the model who was going to wear the lingerie
Donald @ Sep 19th 2007 4:14PM
I am SHOCKED they didn't mention "buy teh haloz".
samfish (MSDF- Nurse Outfit!) @ Sep 19th 2007 4:14PM
Arrr...No Halo lottery tickets? This be an outrage! Thems be akin ta modern day booty!
Yarr...not cool! Not cool a'tall, dude!
Fernando Rocker (NDF - Water Ring) @ Sep 19th 2007 4:20PM
You sound a little bit like Mr. Krabs
Nice.
samfish (MSDF- Nurse Outfit!) @ Sep 19th 2007 4:31PM
Aye, I gots th' crabs from a hooker on Isle Delfino. Itchy little bastards they are!
Ye be havin' t' use the utmost cautions when scratchin' yerself wit' a hook, too!
Scratch yerself too hard and -*KKKKKKKKKKTCH!*- off comes yer cannon balls!
Jonah Falcon @ Sep 19th 2007 4:19PM
Halo 3 Tampons! For when The Flood Attacks.
tmacairjordan87 @ Sep 19th 2007 5:13PM
that was awesome
Martin @ Sep 19th 2007 5:18PM
That's totally disgusting and hysterically funny at the same time.
teenagertc @ Sep 19th 2007 7:30PM
As Mr.(Ms) Garrison said..."I don't trust anything that bleeds for five days and doesn't die"
Neebs @ Sep 19th 2007 4:20PM
Why can't Finland wait to play Halo 3?
They want to Finnish the Fight.
ssuk @ Sep 19th 2007 4:23PM
BA-DUM-TSCH
ssuk @ Sep 19th 2007 4:22PM
That was the most awesomely written article I've read on the web in a long while. I salute you, Mr. Miller.
TheBigL @ Sep 19th 2007 4:26PM
If those pajamas were the zip up fuzzy kind I'd be all over that.
Jack the Ripper @ Sep 19th 2007 4:30PM
Yarr, a maiden that be wearin' a Cortana nightie would be welcome in me cabin any night of the week, except that havin' a girlie aboard a vessel angers Neptune and curses the winds.
Neebs @ Sep 19th 2007 4:37PM
I think the vessel has to be of a certain size. You'll be alright.
Jonah Falcon @ Sep 19th 2007 4:36PM
Please, do not sex up Cortana.
Burritoclock @ Sep 19th 2007 4:44PM
...why?
zero @ Sep 19th 2007 4:36PM
Halo the lunch box!
Halo the T-Shirt!
Halo the FLAME THROWER!
F1 @ Sep 19th 2007 4:43PM
HAR HAR HAR!!!! Way to mention Spaceballs you Skurvy Dog!
NATO_Duke @ Sep 19th 2007 4:44PM
"Buy teh haloz pasties" -Now available at a Target near you.
Jonah Falcon @ Sep 19th 2007 4:47PM
"Buy teh haloz panties" -Now available at a Target near you.
Korova @ Sep 19th 2007 4:48PM
What about Halo line of lighting fixtures and lamps.
Duh!
Jonah Falcon @ Sep 19th 2007 4:53PM
Um, Ross?
"Our dreams of laying in bed gaming while our significant others play two-dollar "Scratch-Off Plasma Grenade" tickets in a skin-tight hologram two-piece have been destroyed."
Er, um, your dream of wearing women's lingerie to bed can still be satisfied - just not with a Halo 3 license.
Ross Miller @ Sep 19th 2007 5:16PM
Um, Jonah?
The relation here is that the significant other is wearing the lingerie. Though I can see both interpretations, the object for "in a skin-tight ... " is "significant other" as she plays Halo lotto.
And yes, i could wear lingerie, but not Cortona lingerie. Sigh ...
Vegnagun @ Sep 19th 2007 7:30PM
You just got Ross Millowned. Say it, it sounds cooler than it reads.
Jonah Falcon @ Sep 19th 2007 9:26PM
Rats, I misread that, Ross. I missed the significant others. :p
Ross Miller @ Sep 19th 2007 9:41PM
It's cool, I always forget about significant others, too. They usually really get pissed about that. :D
Lucky @ Sep 19th 2007 5:22PM
But his bones are covered in metal.
o.o
Yuccadude @ Sep 19th 2007 5:48PM
+20 Nerd Points
Word of the street(IDF-Digital Ruler). @ Sep 19th 2007 6:01PM
Actually a Got milk as like that would be pretty cool
NekoMode @ Sep 19th 2007 10:52PM
Maybe I am just a Halo-tard but I would be willing to prance around in a hologram two piece, scratching my lotto tickets, all the while with a milk mustache.
That whole post made all those products seem very appealing...
Ryan @ Sep 20th 2007 5:38PM
silly bungie... :o/