Zero Punctuation reviews Halo 3, brace yourselves

those bastards...

That was freaking hilarious.

While a horrible review, I have to say that video was absolutely brilliant. I tip my hat (Or I would, if I had one on) to these guys

These always leave me wondering if guy likes any video games that much.

not such a great review but still hilarious !! darn aussies...:P

ROFL

That was LMAO hilarious!!!

haha, that guy is hilarious. i loved the bioshock review, as well. though i love halo 3, his points are more than valid. why give a perfect score to a very imperfect game? then again, the multiplayer options more than make it for it for me. but since he doesn't care for mp, i guess he's a twat, as well! either way, it's always fun and refreshing to hear this dude trash the biggest releases once in a while

Best...review...evar...

The vehicle AI part is so ridiculously true and makes everyone who claims the AI is so advanced sound absolutely retarded. I've yet to get into a vehicle with an AI driver and get from point A to point B without an extended period of rock humping.

Just an FYI, he's not an aussie, he just lives there.

He's british and I agree with him on soo many levels.

Someone should teach him to take a few breathes in between sentences. Maybe he would enjoy Halo 3 a bit more. Otherwise, good on you, Aussie.

Though he did say that STALKER was better than Bioshock, which is just stupid.

How fast does that guy speak?

I love these videoes. They are hilarious. I loved his Console War Rundown and Heavenly Sword videos. And finally we get some honest commentary on Halo 3 (I to have, dare I say, not played the first two).

******

Michael C. Sherrin
http://www.prodigeek.com/

Now that is a good review. ha!

really, it doesnt matter if you agree or not with ZP, his reviews are always utter fucking genuis.

i disagreed with his bioshock review heavily, and then watched it 5 times and laughed more with each one.

"...An evil combination of hitler and skeletor that pisses pure malevolence.."


classic.

i would say bioshock is a renter. no multiplayer. those australians just dont ilke multiplayer games becuase everyone who plays them is on the other side of the world and they lag to bad to enjoy them.

That's fantastic! Whilst these are obviously very tongue in cheek i wish more people would see how shockingly average H3 was as an INDIVIDUAL game, rather than the 'if u dnt liek teh haloz ur ghey!!1!' mentality that seems to spew out whenever it's mentioned anywhere...

And this is another small piece of proof why Brits and funnier than Americans ;-)

I would say the AI is great on average... but only for the enemies. Even outside of a vehicle, NPC teammates are completely useless in this game. I often find the Arbiter just standing in place.

ZP is just brilliant! His take on the Darkness and Bioshock was dead on!

Halo 3 is a fun game no doubt but it still is one of the more overrated series in a long time. Right up there with FF VII...

That being said Halo 3 campaign should be experienced in co-op to be fully appreciated...

PREFACE: I love love love Halo 3!!! And am absolutely addicted to it.

Now, I think the video is downright hilarious and I actually agree to a great degree(Obviously, opinion based and not fact). I think we, as Halo FanBoys, as blinded by the awe and coolness that is Halo that we overlook and downplay the flaws in the game. From a technical standpoint I think GoW is a better game. Which one do I enjoy more? Halo. It is this all-encompassing being that Bungie and Microsoft have created that keeps us entranced by it. Kudos to them (no, not those kudos). In sort, I absolutely love the game, but I think that this guy is spot-on in his review.

Satire and Irony are lost on the overly serious. The name of the video column is ZERO PUNCTUATION hence no pauses. I don't think he takes himself as seriously as some of the listeners took him. It is wonderfully funny.

the only way to appreciate Halo 3 is through multiplayer.
Co-op campaign is easy, but it's a lot of fun.

I agree w/ bioshock being a rental. I played it, beat it. Played it again to make sure I saved all little girls and got all achievements, then gave it away to my buddy. Of course it took me about a week and a half and the game was gorgeous, but there is absolutely no replay value in that game for me. I'll play halo for the next 5 years if a better shooter doesn't show up. That's what makes it the best.

Though I disagree, it's funny as hell. :)

Terribly entertaining. ROFL. For those that don't care about multiplayer I would agree that the Solo Campaign is rather average, but MP is some fun, especially sticking a guy with the spike grenade, tee hee.

Is he ever going to actually like a game or is he just going to keep rocking the angry-contrarian schtick? I'd like to see him do a gushing rave about his favorite game. The "It-sucks-ism" that is so much a part of gamer culture is getting tedious. If I wanted smarty pants reviewers to tell me all my favorite stuff is actually derivative crap, I'd read indie rock blogs.

Brits are only funny because they don't know how to talk. How come every Brit I know sounds like a gay version of Hugh Grant? (I know thats an oxymoron)

@27

Truth...

holy shit that was funny and spot on but i still like Teh Haloz.

that was really annoying to listen to.

That really got me laughing, some excellent entertainment. But I can't take it as a serious review when the bloke thinks S.T.A.L.K.E.R. > Bioshock > Halo 3.

Hey Scott, as crazy as it sounds, the English actually invented the english language which you speak so maybe its YOU that doesn't know how to speak the language. Yes its true the English people invented the English language. Zany, crazy stuff isnt it?

Fist let me say that I disagree with this review, and all of the flaws he point out were blown out of proportion. With that said.
LOL
That was funny, keep up the good work!!!

are there spoilers in the review? i haven't finished the campaign yet.

i agree with much of it about the single player but if you dont give a @#$@# about multiplayer then I prolly dont give a @#$@ about your opinion........

singleplayer is too easy and kind of short.

still a triple a title. not a 10/10 though.

I liked the video it was funny, somethings did make sense like the diffuclty was up and down, the boss would not be that hard at all really. Like when fighting that guilty spark thing. 4 shots and you win, not to hard, on Normal. But to get to that point, would be pretty diffuclt, on Normal, and then the boss would not be a challenge. I thought it was a bit short, the first 2 took me more time to beat. I am satisfiyed with the game, but could have been better, then ending was so so, it was like the ending of Halo one where you race down with your Warthog, to the ship.

but i like the review it was funny, and some thing where true.

HAHAHAH..... He didnt play multiplayer, what an ass. Other than that funny vid. But Halo 3 still rocks.

Mauricio
I was under the impression that the anglo-saxons and the normans, to a lesser extent, (who were german and french people respectively) created the english language, but what the hell do i know. But i do have to agree with Scott. To us, all english people do sound like pompous gay ass holes (see Hugh Grant), but then again to you, all Americans sound like arrogant ignorant cowboys. But that's life :)

Although he makes his points in an extreme way a lot of them ar valid.

I don't regret buying Halo 3, but the best way to describe it is as a solid FPS. It doesn't do anything OMFG amazing, but it doesn't do anything wrong either.

The biggest problem is the playlists and lack of multi-player custom search options. Its best feature is all the different game variants, but no real way to access them unless you have enough friends online at one exact time.

If you are the type who only really feels the need for a single FPS to play online Halo 3 is really the best option for the variety and lack of major issues, but it isn't a godsend either.

NPC's are so bad that it's criminal. And I agree that grunts really needed to get replaced by enemies that were a bit less retarded. And he has a very good point about how it goes from fairly easy (first half or so of the game) to insanely hard (flood levels) and that there is no primer for the extra difficulty; It just drops you in there to get raped and pwned at will.

He's right though that if you don't like the Halo "lore" or the multiplayer, you won't be as thrilled with the game as all the insane "10/10!!!" reviewers were (I'm still convinced that microsoft payed them off). The game is average at best, and is actually a step back from Halo 2 in every way except for sound and graphics. It's a middling, average game that does NOTHING that ANY other game in history hasn't done before it, and better. *Spoilers ahoy* There being no final boss fight with Gravemind, or some sort of brute overlord, or something, is a massive letdown, moreso than the end (which I think is a cop-out *Oh he's not dead, lookie!!!* type of thing) although, after having played Halo 2, getting to kill Guilty Spark was AMAZING.

The biggest strike against Halo 3 is really that it is the end of Master Chief's saga, but you never get to know Master Chief, and arguably you never grow attached to him (although I suppose you get attached to Cortana). Any good game series leaves you with an attachment to the characters (in my opinion) and myself and others couldn't care less what happens to ANY of the characters in the series. I know bungie was going for that "He's silent, so you can imagine you are him" type of thing, but it doesn't work at all. I'm not a damn space marine. I think with all the hype, just like with Halo 2, Halo 3 couldn't have been anything but a letdown.

SO GOOD. HAHA

It's nice that have someone talk $h!t on something you love.

I hope everyone here has been to the Sony Defense Force page. It's the same fresh kick to the balls.

While I find Yahtzee's reviews pretty funny, his "OMG, VIDEO GAMES MUST BE ART" views are kinda irritating. Sure, it's all done tongue-in-cheek, but the elitist tone to his reviews just reminds me of an everyday Internet troll.

He speaks the truth. Npcs are so retarded in this game it made me extremely angry. My favorite part was when my driver sat there for 5 seconds as a wraith fired. I saw the plasma leave the wraith, sit in the air, and finally land on me. The driver did not move the entire time! The last battle is a piece of shit. However, he really does need to try multiplayer. Its the most redeeming and deep quality of the game.

Hi
"And this is another small piece of proof why Brits and funnier than Americans ;-)"
--- It's not better, it's not worse ( I think )...It's just different

While no game will be perfect, nor will an AI, Nor will 'real' intelligence for that matter. 8-) I feel this bloke has let his opinions cloud his judgement. I'm all for opinions and he can have his but to say that H3 or any Halo is the same type of experience as something like BioShock is just ignorant.

It's funny that he sounds like he either has to make a huge dukey or is holding back a massive fart with all of that lack of pausing.

damn he's talking fast...
hardly understood 'bout 50%

:(

The guy in this review doesn't seem to enjoy any video game. They're either terrible, or mediocre.

Not to mention the fact that the more hype or popularity a game has, he intentionally fits in some insulting comments to the fans of said game. Which makes it obvious that his abundance of negative reviews are nothing but a stunt to gain more attention.

He's so on the money

Does this twat like any video games at all? Every single review for an Xbox 360 game I've ever seen from him he bashes the hell out of it. The videos he makes are cute but have as much depth to them as a dixie cup.