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Reader Comments (91)
Posted: Oct 3rd 2007 6:17PM Rajko said
LOL that was great
I remember my marine on the warthog gun being more interested in shooting down butterflies than the wraith as well roflmao
I remember my marine on the warthog gun being more interested in shooting down butterflies than the wraith as well roflmao
Posted: Oct 3rd 2007 6:24PM (Unverified) said
well i had the chance to buy bioshock or the orange box, and im taking the orange box, this guy just went in one ear and out the other, any n00b can make a review trying to get a bunch of people upset, and yeah campaign was short, but hes not interested in multiplayer, what kind of bias reviewer is this?! i could make something way better with my opinions, btw guy who made this if you don't like multiplayer cause your a n00b and suck at games, dont even talk about halo 3.
Posted: Oct 3rd 2007 6:19PM Mal F4cti0n said
Yeah, great video.
Take it with a grain of salt. I see this guy as a comedian who found a niche by being a complete cynic in every review he does and talking fast and making simple graphics out of his funny statements. I love it!
I am a complete Halo fanboy. Nothing would change that. I love Halo 3. I thought the ending wasn't as good as it could have been and I felt let down by the campaign. When the game ended, I really wasn't sure what happened. Mainly due to the fact that the in game dialog was at a whipser compared to the shouting of the sound effects and music. Turning up the volume didn't help b/c then the music got turned up too. But I digress. Great review.
Take it with a grain of salt. I see this guy as a comedian who found a niche by being a complete cynic in every review he does and talking fast and making simple graphics out of his funny statements. I love it!
I am a complete Halo fanboy. Nothing would change that. I love Halo 3. I thought the ending wasn't as good as it could have been and I felt let down by the campaign. When the game ended, I really wasn't sure what happened. Mainly due to the fact that the in game dialog was at a whipser compared to the shouting of the sound effects and music. Turning up the volume didn't help b/c then the music got turned up too. But I digress. Great review.
Posted: Oct 3rd 2007 6:28PM (Unverified) said
Hahaha Awesome,It wins the internet.
His reviews are funny since they are done with comedy in mind using some validate points.
His reviews are funny exagerations of everything that is wrong with a game,is not to be taken seriously but with "lol" in mind and with that said that was hilarious.
His reviews are funny since they are done with comedy in mind using some validate points.
His reviews are funny exagerations of everything that is wrong with a game,is not to be taken seriously but with "lol" in mind and with that said that was hilarious.
Posted: Oct 3rd 2007 6:39PM geeksunny said
That wasn't near as funny as the Bioshock review. If ZP heard this he'd use his infinte wit to state that Halo 3 was just SO BAD that he couldn't be funny about it. Except he'd say it very fast and use all sorts of different metaphors and long words that it'd take him much longer than actually saying "THIS GAME WAS JUST SO BAD THAT..."
Posted: Oct 3rd 2007 6:44PM (Unverified) said
sounds about right, he's dead on the mark :) can all the fanboys say 'overrated'?
Posted: Oct 4th 2007 9:40AM Bernasty said
That was the best review I have ever seen. I may not agree with everything said but the hilarity of it makes it all worth its weight in gold. Which in this case, since its actually a digital video and I cant actually weigh it, would not be nothing.
Posted: Oct 3rd 2007 7:13PM (Unverified) said
Sounds about right to me.
Posted: Oct 3rd 2007 7:21PM h0mi said
I must be missing something, I cant get the video to work in firefox. wtf?
Posted: Oct 3rd 2007 8:14PM (Unverified) said
I lol'd
anyways although this review was pure shit I do have to agree on some points:
-The single player is really short (I beat it in 9 hours in 2 player co-op legendary)
- The final boss was like uh...yeah. I lol'd as well, when the oracle shoots the laser he killed my friend and with my friend dead he kept shooting at him and ignored me completely, I didnt evenvmove and I charged the spartan laser and killed him (and this was on legendary)
- Your allies are dumb as shit.
-I also hate the fact that you cant search for custom games like most games like gears of war and resistance and such
anyways although this review was pure shit I do have to agree on some points:
-The single player is really short (I beat it in 9 hours in 2 player co-op legendary)
- The final boss was like uh...yeah. I lol'd as well, when the oracle shoots the laser he killed my friend and with my friend dead he kept shooting at him and ignored me completely, I didnt evenvmove and I charged the spartan laser and killed him (and this was on legendary)
- Your allies are dumb as shit.
-I also hate the fact that you cant search for custom games like most games like gears of war and resistance and such
Posted: Oct 3rd 2007 8:18PM Funkmaster General said
I don't agree with him at all, but that absolutley brilliant.
Posted: Oct 3rd 2007 9:15PM (Unverified) said
Armed with a BFD-9000? That is hilarity at it's finest! Zero Punctuation has a new fan, and I loved H3.
Posted: Oct 3rd 2007 9:13PM ccc said
he hit the nail on the head.
Posted: Oct 6th 2007 3:41PM (Unverified) said
Brilliant and well-spoken. Kudos!
Posted: Oct 3rd 2007 9:48PM (Unverified) said
wow i hope her burns in hell and why would you play it with out at least playing Halo 2? I mean I know a lot of people haven't played the original Halo but never play Halo 2? wow....And who doesn't enjoy multiplaye?
Posted: Oct 3rd 2007 10:01PM (Unverified) said
Jesus christ has anyone who rips this guy actually seen any of his other reviews?! The whole point is to belittle the hype that surrounds very average, but overly exaggerated games, and even then in his review of Psychonauts he actually claims its one of the best games he's ever played... I'd suggest people actually take a look at what this column is all about before attempting to get on their gaming high-horse and claim he 'doesn't like any game'... if you want reviews that are supposed to be unbiased and fair, rather than purely entertaining, i suggest you dont take this too much to heart...
Posted: Oct 3rd 2007 10:34PM (Unverified) said
Halo 3 is an average FPS? Well, that's a bunch of bull. Pariah was an average FPS. Black was an average FPS. Resistance: Fall of Man was an average FPS. Take a look at the double scarab fight on Heroic in Halo 3, where you've got AI controlling dozens of vehicles on the air and the ground, plus the dozen or so enemies onboard each of the scarab tanks, in a huge open area with a vast depth of field, with weapons fire and explosions happening all around you as your enemies and allies fight amongst eachother whether you get off your ass and join the fight or not, and then tell me that's on par with freakin' Darkwatch or Area 51.
Posted: Oct 3rd 2007 11:06PM (Unverified) said
Are you joking me, you can walk around the whole area of the scarabs without getting hit once, I know, I've done it, nothing exciting about it whatsoever.
Posted: Oct 3rd 2007 11:09PM (Unverified) said
so there are people out there that still care about the single player experience? FREAKIN AWSOME!
Posted: Oct 3rd 2007 11:13PM (Unverified) said
How dare an Aussie declare that HALO JESUS is ... wait for it .... average.
How dare he. It's Halo Jesus we're talking about. Do not talk ill against Halo Jesus fore it is almighty!!!
How dare he. It's Halo Jesus we're talking about. Do not talk ill against Halo Jesus fore it is almighty!!!
Posted: Oct 3rd 2007 11:19PM Landosystem said
I am so much the opposite to this review, I HATED Halo 1, didn't bother with 2, don't really like FPS, and spent the first 72 hours staying awake and alternating playing multiplayer, giggling like a schoolgirl and peeing myspelf with unabashed joy. This is at its center a multiplayer game, with what I find to be a pretty and fun and challenging story, and wither one would have been worth my 60 bucks, but I got them BOTH for that price, so yay me.... and yay everyone else! (throws headshot confetti)
Posted: Oct 4th 2007 12:17AM SirEdgeworth said
I have to admit I agree with him. and I am a 360 owner. and never was a halo fan ever.
Posted: Oct 4th 2007 12:43AM AgreeablePanda said
Love BioShock, Halo 3, but can't help laughing my ass off whenever VP releases a video review.
Oh...and Brits are funnier than Americans?!
Sure, if you fancy retarded time traveling trumpet psychos, creepy fat and ugly men that should be in jail for sexual harassment, or cheap rip off s of Mr. Magoo named after a f'n legume.
Oh...and Brits are funnier than Americans?!
Sure, if you fancy retarded time traveling trumpet psychos, creepy fat and ugly men that should be in jail for sexual harassment, or cheap rip off s of Mr. Magoo named after a f'n legume.
Posted: Oct 4th 2007 12:48AM (Unverified) said
Damn, he was literally DEAD ON. I love Halo (Although, Ive ALWAYS hated it before 3).. but, I agree 100% with everything he said. I've even been caught in a few of the situations he mentioned, including the AI driver getting stuck behind a rock.
Posted: Oct 4th 2007 1:13AM EMaster said
Wow, now that I know Halo is Easy maybe I won't mind all the 12 year olds online calling me a fag all the time so much. Alright off to Goozex I go to wait in line to get the game. I will seriously give it a whirl although I too do not buy into the Halo hype. WTF.... I am in line at 42 for the limited edition and if I want the regular I have 52 wankers in front of me... WTF!?!
Posted: Oct 4th 2007 2:09AM Anticrawl said
Hmmm, when I play online co-op I make my buddies ride shotgun and let the AI take gunner, they are gods at gunning, not sure what he is talking about. Perhaps those floating bunkers? In any case anyone who believes Bioshock was that fantastic of a game lost all credibility in my book, it was just a chore. If I wanted a great story I'd read a book, that game just wasn't fun to play in it's most basic of tasks. You can't have a FPS where shooting is no fun.
Posted: Oct 4th 2007 2:14AM Anticrawl said
By the way, the boss battle is terrible. Was having a conversation about this with a friend earlier. The greatest danger their is falling off the edge while idly firing your gun at the retarded floaty guy.
Posted: Oct 4th 2007 2:15AM Anticrawl said
On another note, who ever expects to be satisfied when entering a story at the end? I would never start playing a series from the end without having enjoyed the earlier games.
Posted: Oct 4th 2007 2:15AM BananaBoat said
I HATED Bioshock, but the second this guys review for Bioshock started, and I heard "Octopuses Garden" by the Beatles play, I knew that win was going to follow.
Anyone using Abbey Road for intro music, is my hero
Anyone using Abbey Road for intro music, is my hero
Posted: Oct 4th 2007 4:45AM (Unverified) said
Wow. I liked most of his reviews before now. I'm a big fan of the Halo series but I also recognize its flaws. However, nearly all of his claims in this video were completely unjustified. If he's going to blatantly attack something, then fine, but don't tell me he's unbiased at all.
Posted: Oct 4th 2007 7:25AM (Unverified) said
THANK YOU! Finally, I'm not alone. Halo 3 is not all that OMG SUPER AMAZING!!1! It's AVERAGE.
Posted: Oct 4th 2007 8:14AM (Unverified) said
Haha.. So in other words he got his ass kicked in multiplayer and now is whining about it. :D Nobody cares abou the singleplayer. lol. And what's up with not mentioning co-op? A.I. is crap sure, but with friends even the driving is great. Ohhhh, I see he doesn't have any friends.
Posted: Oct 4th 2007 8:35AM (Unverified) said
Wow...it's amazing how many people didn't actually LISTEN to the review, at all. Or any of his reviews.
1. He's doing a snarky, funny review. If you came waiting for him to gush all over your favorite game, you came to the wrong place.
2. In the Bioshock review, he specifically prefaces it by saying he thinks that it's a candidate for GAME OF THE YEAR. He goes on to point out that people enjoy him much more when he's being negative, and then goes on to point out some valid craziness in the game. His Psychonauts review was practically a love letter to the game and an indictment to everyone who ignored it.
3. He specifically says he doesn't like multiplayer. His review is based on that fact. Therefore, you have to take that with a grain of salt. Yes, that's like reviewing only 1/3rd of the game. But that's the gist of his review, like it or lump it.
1. He's doing a snarky, funny review. If you came waiting for him to gush all over your favorite game, you came to the wrong place.
2. In the Bioshock review, he specifically prefaces it by saying he thinks that it's a candidate for GAME OF THE YEAR. He goes on to point out that people enjoy him much more when he's being negative, and then goes on to point out some valid craziness in the game. His Psychonauts review was practically a love letter to the game and an indictment to everyone who ignored it.
3. He specifically says he doesn't like multiplayer. His review is based on that fact. Therefore, you have to take that with a grain of salt. Yes, that's like reviewing only 1/3rd of the game. But that's the gist of his review, like it or lump it.
Posted: Oct 4th 2007 12:27PM (Unverified) said
Best. Review. Ever. Ditto
This guy is dead-on in his review. Mediocre.
Orange Box, here I come.
This guy is dead-on in his review. Mediocre.
Orange Box, here I come.
Posted: Oct 4th 2007 1:18PM ccc said
anyone catch when he gave praise to Bio shock after playing halo 3? LMAO! " A flying pile of shit"," as deep as a spoon", this guy is the man.
Posted: Oct 4th 2007 2:46PM (Unverified) said
He said something like it everything it does has been done before. Forge and Theater have been done before?
Posted: Oct 4th 2007 4:41PM (Unverified) said
While I find this guy's reviews very amusing and entertaining, I have absolutely no respect for his opinion. First of all, he freely admits to never playing halo 1 or halo 2. If you review games for a living then shouldn't it be assumed that you enjoy playing games? Or more to the point that you should be playing a lot of games so that your not completely biased. This guy is obviously not a gamer. He obviously does not play a variety of games just for fun. Simply judging by the fact that this guy always compares games to older PC titles makes me think he is just generally biased against console games.
And YES. You did have to play halo 1 and halo 2 for halo 3 to make sense. I sure hope you didn't only see return of the jedi and base your entire opinion of star wars off of it. See A New Hope and The Empire Strikes Back. Jesus!
And YES. You did have to play halo 1 and halo 2 for halo 3 to make sense. I sure hope you didn't only see return of the jedi and base your entire opinion of star wars off of it. See A New Hope and The Empire Strikes Back. Jesus!
Posted: Oct 4th 2007 5:36PM (Unverified) said
Halo 3 is not great, I am already growing tired of the small amount of maps online. For being such a big multiplayer game why didn't they make more maps? I also can't get into the campaign it sucks. Call of Duty 2's AI and graphics were better. It is still kind of fun but i will probably not be playing anymore in a week or two.
And for the people that still say FF7 is overrated then why do i play it more now then I play halo and it is 10 years old. face it bungie just ported halo 2 and changed the look of the stages. everything feels too close too call this an actual sequal. They couldn't even add new enemies. This game is on par with Black.
And for the people that still say FF7 is overrated then why do i play it more now then I play halo and it is 10 years old. face it bungie just ported halo 2 and changed the look of the stages. everything feels too close too call this an actual sequal. They couldn't even add new enemies. This game is on par with Black.
Posted: Oct 4th 2007 5:49PM (Unverified) said
I'm a Halo fan.
But this review is both true and fucking hilarious.
I love it.
But this review is both true and fucking hilarious.
I love it.
Posted: Oct 4th 2007 11:04PM lunarlasso said
ben croshaw's reviews are comical genius
his timing and humor are awesome!
british humor rocks
extras....office.......shaun of the dead...and countless others....
his timing and humor are awesome!
british humor rocks
extras....office.......shaun of the dead...and countless others....
Posted: Oct 8th 2007 11:16AM (Unverified) said
AI is true, but thats about it, still funny as hell
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