Today's most vulgar videos: Jam Sessions' instant rockstar

by Scott Jon Siegel { Nov 19th 2007 at 12:01AM }

The North American marketing for DS guitar simulator Jam Sessions has been pretty low-key, comprised of a MySpace page, uninspired print ads, and a bevy of videos showing real artists using the non-game to play fake guitar.

Off the charts, then, are New Zealand's excellent television spots for the title, which emphasize how having Jam Sessions in your DS repertoire can transform you into an instant rockstar. According to the ads, being an instant rockstar involves hitting on your buxom aunt, and cursing out your mum for baking you the wrong birthday cake. Honestly, the things those New Zealanders can get away with on television!

If we haven't made it abundantly clear, these videos are definitely not-safe-for-work material. Catch all the raunchy, raucous action after the break (and not a single shot of gameplay, either!).

Here's the first video, simply titled "Aunty":

And the second, titled "Cake":

Instant rockstar, indeed. That is, if your idea of rockstars is "acoustic guitar only."

Tags: hottest-video, hottestvideo, jam-sessions, jamsessions, marketing, music, new-zealand, newzealand, nsfw, ubisoft, votd

Reader Comments (Page 1 of 1)

Jerk Face @ Nov 19th 2007 12:12AM

That second one is fucking great.

gonk @ Nov 19th 2007 12:44AM

the cake is a farce

vagrantA @ Nov 19th 2007 12:13AM

hahaha wow! they can really show that on tv over there? Man if that commercial popped up on american tv someone would be in big trouble. I love it!

Evan @ Nov 19th 2007 12:19AM

I don't know if I have ever felt a more appropriate time to use internet lingo... lol, rofl, lmao all seem quite appropriate here.

FlamingMoe @ Nov 19th 2007 7:02AM

roflmao. roflmao indeed.

Kyattsuai @ Nov 19th 2007 12:24AM

Awesome. I expect to see more of the censorship kiwi in future New Zealand news.

Blast Processing Megadrive @ Nov 19th 2007 1:03AM

I nominate Censorship Kiwi as Official Joystiq Censorship Mascot™.

cybereality @ Nov 19th 2007 12:25AM

Thats it, I'm moving to New Zealand.

Shockgamer @ Nov 19th 2007 12:28AM

Too bad it's wasted on such a boring "game."

waynski1457 @ Nov 19th 2007 12:37AM

just... wow!! those were awesome!! i cant stop laughing!!

DomoBraden @ Nov 19th 2007 12:41AM

I saw these earlier. They're made from 100% pure win...probably the best two commercials I've seen in years, if not ever.

Scy @ Nov 19th 2007 1:00AM

Okay, New Zealand. You win.

You've got pretty fuckin' scenery that the whole fuckin' world saw in the fuckin' LOTR movies, and now you've got fuckin' commercials that make this fuckin' sentence safe for work.

You win, you fuckin' kiwi bastards.

Also, the cake is not a farce. Nor is it a lie.

I think it's a 'fuck' if I followed that kid correctly.

And, um... sorry for all the fucks.

Mr Roberto @ Nov 19th 2007 7:50AM

Also, your aunts are much hotter.

Cal @ Nov 19th 2007 1:00AM

You know, I've never seen a DS ad on TV since 05 and Nintendogs and Mario Kart. Yes I live in NZ, and no I haven't seen the ads on TV. While censorship laws on TV aren't as bad as in America, the second ad would never air on TV here.

ScottyGEE32 @ Nov 19th 2007 1:04AM

O_O

DWells55 @ Nov 19th 2007 10:39AM

Question - does that kind of advertising fly in Australia too?

Will @ Nov 19th 2007 1:10AM

umm... what about that annoying ass commercial with all the douchebag kids singing santana while sitting in a circle gathered around one kid 'jamming' on his ds... i have to sit through that gawdawful north american commercial several times a day WHILE resisting the urge to kill myself... i'd say those ads are much more offensive and profane than the word fuck

DomoBraden @ Nov 19th 2007 1:21PM

Sublime, not Santana. They butcher it though, so I guess it doesn't really matter what they're playing..

Will @ Nov 19th 2007 6:18PM

oh yeah good call, i actually meant to say Santeria. i'd much rather have that cake ad

ThornedVenom @ Nov 19th 2007 1:12AM

That first one was epic. XD At first you're totally in the "WTF" zone, until you see and hear the "instant rockstar" moment. XD

seakae @ Nov 19th 2007 1:27AM

BWUAHAHAHA. I was dying at the second one.

Yuccadude @ Nov 19th 2007 1:35AM

Time to move to New Zealand and become a child actor...

giantenemycrab @ Nov 19th 2007 1:52AM

what a little brat.

Shiro @ Nov 19th 2007 2:03AM

I honestly thought the first was funnier.
Probably because all the Assassin's Creed in my mind would have had the mother stabbing the bastard in the throat in the second one.

unfriendly_cat @ Nov 19th 2007 2:16AM

Jack Thompson would like to have a word with you.

sure @ Nov 19th 2007 2:23AM

i didn't find them funny at all. still, i'm surprised that a game for nintendo is advertised this way.

one question, is this the same country that banned mass effect or whatever because of a lesbian "sex" scene?

Scott Jon Siegel @ Nov 19th 2007 2:28AM

You must be confusing New Zealand with SINGAPORE, which recently lifted its ban on Mass Effect.

The two countries ARE pretty similar; I could see how you could get confused.

sam-evans @ Nov 19th 2007 3:40AM

I dont think that we would ban mass effect's sex scene, when we have a parade called "Boobs on Bikes" in our largest city (Auckland)

I live in New Zealand and I havent seen the Ads either

*Boobs on Bikes - Exactly what it sounds like, Topless models on motorbikes

ZENegade @ Nov 19th 2007 2:40AM

Comic book guy says: "Best. Video game. Commercial(s). Ever."

hoob @ Nov 19th 2007 4:02AM

Add this to Flight of the Conchords and New Zealand's turning into the place to be.

Sol @ Nov 19th 2007 8:01AM

After watching this I will never look at sponge cake the same way again.
:)

WiNG @ Nov 19th 2007 8:46AM

wow they can really show that on TV?

I will always remember when I was living in Paris, one day I came around a corner on the street and saw a giant poster with a topless chick with a very impressive chest.

The subtitle?

"If you love breasts, donate to fight breast cancer."

ftw

Jag0tje @ Nov 19th 2007 8:50AM

That kid is awesome.

Also you can play electric with Jam Sessions.

Towdart @ Nov 19th 2007 1:45PM

greatest nintendo-endorsed-product commercials ever. even better than the smash bros. 64 one.

Mal F4cti0n @ Nov 19th 2007 7:08PM

Wow, they said 'fuck' three times in a thirty second commercial spot. Priceless.

Would have been better if the kid took his aunt from behind right there on the table as he did some coke lines off her naked back. Now THAT would have been instant rockstar!