Critics: Hitman film more like Hit-meh

by Justin McElroy on Nov 21st 2007 5:00PM

Did you like that headline? Yeah, we did too. It's ironic, because if the critics weighing in on the new Hitman film are any bellwether, it's the only entertaining thing about the movie. Of the 25 reviews of the Timothy Olyphant starrer (released today) only 12% gave the movie a positive review. If you're not so much with the math, that translates to "Not good."

One of the few decent reviews comes from Daniel M. Kimmel, who says "There's enough intelligence behind it that you don't feel you're just waiting to hit the reset button," which is a video game metaphor so belabored we feel compelled to dismiss his opinion out of hand. Of the negative reviews, our favorite comes from Dustin Putnam who says "Abysmal in the extreme, Hitman is 100 minutes of soul-crushing nothingness." Wow, is it too late to pre-order tickets?

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Tags: eidos, hitman, movies, timothy-olyphant

Reader Comments (60)

With so many great new games and albums this year...i'm willing to allow some bad films. And there was still 300, which was good...

good new albums? hahahahahaha

wow 300 was good?

I was about to stab myself when the queen yelled out "FREEDOM ISNT FREE!" on the "senate" floor.

ugh

this year saw both a new Tullycraft album and a new Groovie Ghoulies album, so I'm gonna agree

yeah the story scenes in 300 were pretty terrible, but the fights were great

Did someone just scoff at good new albums this year. My word, sir, have you even been paying attention?

Everyone just go see No Country For Old Men.

You won't regret it.

But really. Is anyone surprised?

wow, another video game based movie sucks? what a crazy turn of events

ahaha i liked that last quote

Its not like it was based off a great game or anything either.

i want to know if it sux because it strayed too far from the game or it was too similar. i found the hitman story for the game versions quite intriguing. i wonder if they had dumbed the story down significantly.

did he ever disguise himself and stealthily killed. hitman was always about disguises, brutal steal kills, and the occasional poisoning, NOT john woo style shoot outs.

This was my main complaint from the minute I saw the trailer. While I wasn't a big fan of the Hitman series, I at least appreciated the game for what it was. It pioneered the all out stealth genre that so many famous games (Splinter Cell comes to mind) took off from. I knew from the minute I watched the first teaser that the movie was just going to be another mindless shoot em up. And whoever casted Olyphant should be shot. I was pretty sure that there was a constitutional amendment stating that if a Hitman film was ever made, Jason Statham would be the lead.

"I was pretty sure that there was a constitutional amendment stating that if a Hitman film was ever made, Jason Statham would be the lead."

Jason Statham is bigtime now, he would have cost them more than their entire budget.

Crank was brilliant.

Yes...sort of on the disguise. He also does a pretty sneaky kill in a bathroom, but it's all with a gun, no piano wire :(

Agent 47 has nuttin on Beowulf.

Me and 3 other friends walked out halfway through beowulf. That movie was crap. Waste of 10.75 to be exact.

"hit-meh" - awesome!

I saw the movie last night and it was about 10x better than what I expected. It's not very smart, but it might be the best video game adaptation I've ever seen. They used all the right elements from the games without letting that spoil it (let's be honest, what works in games doesn't necessarily work in movies). The action was pretty good, there was some gratuitous (but not out of place) nudity. If you like the games, you should see it. If you like fun action movies, you should see it.

I'm not a guy who enjoys mindless action movies. I haven't bothered to watch Doom even though that game ruled my life for a few years. I've taken film classes and seen most of the movies on AFI's top 100 list. Given that, I still found Hitman to be pretty fun. There is no way I would have seen this in the theater if I hadn't been given a free screening pass, but I was glad I went. I don't blame anyone who doesn't see this in the theater, but definitely throw it in your netflix queue.

and because your opinion doesn't match up with everyone else's,

Your a liar.

My local paper called it "Action Porn" with 2.5 / 4 stars.. so I really really want to see it now =)

I thought it was pretty cool. Took some liberties with the storyline (and that scene when they were driving through the country was very wtf) but it had some good action, the part in the bathroom was awesome, and Olyphant did a better job than I expected.

hit-bland could have worked too. not really.

Yet there are still muppets who'll go out and give the film studio money giving them the impression it was a good film.

That was wonderful! Bravo! I loved it! That was great! Well, it was pretty good. Well, It wasn't bad. There were parts that weren't pretty good, though. It could've been a lot better. I didn't really like it. It was pretty terrible. It was bad. It was awful! Terrible! Eh, boo! Boo!

I'm intrigued. If video games are becoming so much like movies, how come no movies of video games are any good, and no video games of movies are any good?

Don't cross the streams. It would bad.

The reason why most of these movies based on games suck is because these movies are made with the mainstream audience in mind(people who don't know what the hell these games are).

The fact is, Hollywood could give two shits about what us gamers think because we're too easy. All they have to do is make a movie based on a high profile game, and bammm!!! They already have gamers in their pocket. The challenge is trying to get people who have never heard of these games into the theater. So what ends up happening is is that games with complex characters,and convoluted plot twist end up getting dumb down so that the story can become appealing to a more mainstream audience.

oh and Chronicles of Riddick would like to have a word with you.

the game wasn't based on the movie

I think a lot of people enjoyed the LotR games. Not sure how Harry Potter fared.

It seems that movies based off of games tend to kill the games. Look at tomb raider its trying to make a comeback.

Roger Ebert gave it a pretty positive review, but I think he only did so as a means to further insult videogames and remind us once again that they can never be art.

How come Hitman, a medicore video game franchise, gets a movie but Halo and other worthy titles don't?

Because it would cost too much money.

SURPRISE! Hitman film turns out to be like every other video game film... A big failure.

I'm sorry, but I was sure after Tomb Raider, Resident Evil and DOA this was blatantly obvious to everyone by now.

mortal kombat is probably the best movie based off a videogame

I'll give you DOA but Tomb Raider was a major success, hell it jump started the career of who is now a famous actress. Resident Evil did alright as well, and Silent Hill was a great success.

At least MK and Street Fighter had that awesome cheese factor.

I'm willing to see the movie, though I'm sure the M&M's Kart Racing film is going to be a smash hit for sure.

APPROACHING SOUND BARRIER!!!!.........summer 2008.

I'd see that movie. I'm sure the characters have a mysterious past and the plot twists have you on the edge of your seat ("GASP! You were actually a peanut M&M!")

But do you ever stop mentioning that? ;p

I swear, that is ALL you EVER talk about. I'll just have to take out my MACHINE GUN! and kill you.

What if the M&M racing film adaptation was set in a madhouse?

"LOOK, A NUT!!"

No, I will never stop bringing it up. I'd rather waste comment space preaching on and on about a game that most of you will NEVER play instead of wasting comment space with something even more useless like bashing systems or what have you.

Well, I don't usually trust critics but I'm really disappointed. I was really excited about the movie. Ehh . . . at least I still have my Mist.

does this news surprise anyone?

actually this looks pretty decent.

i think it will be good mindless fun.

How?

How can you possibly mess up a movie about a guy who kills people? Were Disney/Pixar people working on it or something?

????

I can understand Disney. BUT PIXAR???

DON'T YOU DARE SHIT ON THEIR NAME!!!!!

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Critics: Hitman film more like Hit-meh

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