Aside from stuffing our faces with 7,000 calories worth of food
on Thanksgiving, we Americans are supposed to reflect on what we're most thankful for. While things like LOLcatz and coffee definitely make the list (oh right, and our families and friends, we guess), we wanted to show a little appreciation for the Wii as well. The Nintendo Wii Fanboy staff was thus asked what about the Wii we are most thankful for. The following is what happens when you have a staff with the collective maturity level of 37% (calculated by science).
is (allegedly) the best Wii Sports Tennis
player south of the Mason-Dixon line, but what she's truly grateful for is the chance to make fun of her mother: "I would be a lot more thankful if anyone would play Wii Sports Tennis
with me ever. Buncha cowards around here! Oh, and also, the Wii gave me the chance to watch (and laugh) while my mom tried to get Epona to jump the fence in Twilight Princess
. That so made up for that one time she beat me in some virtual reality shooting game when I was like twelve, which she will never, ever let me forget. Ever
. Happy anniversary, Mom and Mark!"
is thankful that he won't be appearing on a UPN show, as are we, because having to see his face might make us physically ill: "Thank you, Wii Calendar, for saving me the embarrassment of having to hire Joey Greco to find out whether my wife is cheating on me or not. (She's not.)" JC Fletcher
is grateful that he doesn't get more hate mail, even though in reality he loves it and you should send him as much as possible: "I'm thankful for only a few people getting mad at me when I use the word 'waggle.' It's a really funny word."
It seems that David Hinkle
should be thankful that he hasn't been put in a straightjacket yet: "I'm thankful for Elebits
, because without them I'd probably be locked up for breaking and entering into strangers' houses and tearing their kitchens apart hunting down small, imaginary creatures."
Because Chris Greenhough
is British and folks don't celebrate Thanksgiving across the pond, we really couldn't give a damn what he's thankful for. Just kidding!: "I'm thankful for all the new gamers Wii has dragged in. The easy victories keep my delicate male pride intact."Mike Sylvester
was unavailable for comment. Clearly, he's a man of mystery, smothered in secret sauce.
As for me
, I'm grateful for the Wii's success. Now, when I side with the robots in the inevitable Robot War and go back in time Terminator
style, I can add Nintendo to my growing list of "companies to make my past self buy stock in." Then I'll be that much closer to my goal of world domination.
And now, it's your
turn. Tell us what Wii related thing you are most thankful for, if you feel so inclined, whether it be something serious or something silly. For the many of you who don't celebrate this holiday, we encourage you to partake in this tradition with us, too! We also want to say that we're thankful for you, our readers, because without you our jobs would be pretty pointless. So, thank you!