English soccer team loses, player blames video games

by Justin McElroy { Nov 30th 2007 at 2:52PM }

Just a month or so after Harry Redknapp, manager of a soccer team in the English Premier League, spoke out against people replacing soccer love with video game passion, West Ham goalkeeper Robert Green added to the chorus after England lost to Croatia and failed to qualify for Euro 2008. The player, whose talents can be seen in the video above, said "I think we would have the best team if we could go into every household and throw away every PlayStation, Xbox and video game. We have the players and the best league in the world. The way the game is played here is so different though."

OK, English soccer players and coaches. We're going to lay it out slowly: You're embarrassing yourself. If you can't cobble together a decent team from the 50 million people living in your county, it's not the fault of Mario and Sonic. The simple fact is that video games continue to take up a larger portion of the populace's free time and money, and they cuts have got to come from somewhere. And if that prevents Mr. Green from robbing happiness from a bunch of Croatians, I think Bill, Kaz and Reggie are going to sleep OK tonight.

Consider yourself lucky. In America, video games have made the populace so thick and unwieldy that Domino's not only brings the pizza to our doors, but chews it up and spits it in to our mouths like mama birds. It's a terrifying sort of paradise.

Tags: football, soccer

Reader Comments (Page 1 of 2)

LaughingTarget @ Nov 30th 2007 2:58PM

Video games are no excuse. America plays a ton of them, yet we consistently spit out the best athletes in the world. Where's your excuse now, England?

Fox318 @ Nov 30th 2007 2:58PM

AMERICA...FUCK YEAH

Victor @ Nov 30th 2007 3:06PM

Brazil also plays a lot of Winning Eleven and we still have pretty good soccer players.

Xavier Gill @ Nov 30th 2007 3:10PM

We use far fewer performance enhacing drugs than the USA

FOXHOUND @ Nov 30th 2007 3:31PM

I saw the highlights on ESPN.
Clearly, if the England club had gathered all the chaos emeralds, used the red/white mushrooms instead of the angry face purple ones... dodged those a Eggman or two while avoiding cheep cheep shots... maybe they could've ended up playing Master Chief on Legendary.

I don't remember what happened in the second half, since I was visiting Rapture and shooting up EVE to the dashboard beat of Zombie Nation.

Poisoned Al @ Nov 30th 2007 3:55PM

Because you throw money and collage places at total meat-heads who's life is fucked by the time they are 30 becuase the only thing they were taught was to toss a ball?

Poisoned Al @ Nov 30th 2007 4:05PM

Oh btw, if America is so awesome, why don't you play any sports the rest of the world gives a flying fuck about?

Crono (NDF - Knight of the Old School) @ Nov 30th 2007 4:17PM

We do. Last time I checked we played Tennis and Soccor. Or are you talking about "curling".

Now there's an exciting sport! Shuffleboard on ice! Or do you meat Badminton? Hitting a shuttlecock over a net in the yard? Croquet?

Yeah, I'll take 2 teams of dudes in state of the art protective armor annihilating each other on the football field over a bunch of pansies in shorts whining about how videogames have ruined their team.

You're just pissed the Sun has finally set on the British empire, and ours is still the strongest in the world.

Its ok though. You can think we're cheating and that you're the real tough guys. Really. It is.

Josh @ Nov 30th 2007 4:19PM

@ Poisoned Al - Because we do what we want and don't give a shit what other countries play.

Poisoned Al @ Nov 30th 2007 4:32PM

No it can't POSSIBLY becuase you might get your arse kicked? No, your slightly dumber versions of other sports are more "manly" aren't they?

Crono (NDF - Knight of the Old School) @ Nov 30th 2007 4:46PM

Again, what are you talking about? We have a soccer team, and it consistently sucks and gets beat. But we don't' give a damn about a boring sport like soccer. We have much more entertaining sports. And American football has a culture surrounding it that is far more exciting that your pansies in shorts kicking a ball around a field.

michael @ Nov 30th 2007 4:57PM

Hold on a minute Crono, you have the cheek to call us pansies for playing 'Soccer', which coincedently is the world's most popular sport. Then you say American Football is better, when they run around in more prtective clothing than than a standard main battle Tank. Get a grip, you are such a hypocrite.

Just for the record we are talkign about English Sport here, curling is Scottish.

LaughingTarget @ Nov 30th 2007 5:35PM

You mean like how the US women's soccer has won the World Cup a few times?

Besides, athletics has put tons of people through college in things other than liberal studies. Only a tiny percentage ever makes money at sports, the rest have to do something useful.

mike_p @ Nov 30th 2007 11:23PM

Crono... I'm a yank and I side with real football. You've got to be fucking FIT to run for 90 mins as a box to box midfielder. It's not just running around and kicking a ball as you see it. American football players take breaks every five seconds and have a whole different line change when they change roles.

Remove thy foot from thy mouth. Football (as it should be rightly called) is the world's most popular sport for a reason. Maybe if it was 3 "points" for a goal it might be more interesting to you but that isn't the case.

Your Ad here 555-1923 @ Nov 30th 2007 3:03PM

But if only the coach had seen that double headshot the Goalkeeper pull last night in halo 3,totally wicked and he didn't even used the scope!

Buckshot @ Nov 30th 2007 3:03PM

Maybe if it wasn't a sport for parochial school girls they would have people that wanted to play. Another dinosaur to become extinct by the wayside.

Mr Awesomer @ Nov 30th 2007 3:29PM

Football (as us retarded Americans call soccer) is the most played and watched game in the world. It is no dinosaur and will not be going extinct anytime soon. Educate yourself... I'm tired of my fellow Americans not knowing shit about the world around them.

Buckshot @ Nov 30th 2007 4:01PM

And I'm tired of Americans wasting their time on a sport of the third world and the poor, that has been dead for a long time. Let's look at the last real soccer in the US (ASL 1 1921-1933) that was it's high point in the US. Even with the "quick action" of MISL, no one was interested or cared. Too long, too boring, and mass grouping of criers. Maybe you need to have a look at your blind support of something, be it a sport or religion. NFL Football (real football) is actually taking Europe by storm, since it has actual scoring and action, and less primadonna crybabies.

flairgun @ Nov 30th 2007 4:07PM

Dude, if you seriously believe NFL is taking Europe by storm you are so out of touch with reality it's not even funny...
It's way lower profile than MLS is over here.

Mr Awesomer @ Nov 30th 2007 4:41PM

Buckshot: “(soccer is)... “a sport of the third world and the poor"

"Not the USA" does not define a country as being "third world" and "poor."

Buckshot: "(soccer is)... too long, too boring."

An average NFL game is 3 hours long, consisting of constantly starting and stopping play. A football match is 1 1/2 hour of non-stop action. Done.

Buckshot: "(NFL)... has actual scoring and action"

If you were to count the 7 points awarded a touchdown (and the extra point) as what it actually is... 1 point, and count the 3 points awarded a field goal as what it actually is... 1/2 a point, you'd realize NFL scoring is not much different then real football scoring. I happen to be a Liverpool fan and we won our last game 4-1. That's equivalent to the NFL score of 28-7. As for action, see above. NFL... 3 hours of start and stop. Football match... half the time, non-stop action.

Buckshot: “(NFL)... has less primadonna crybabies.”

That’s the most hilarious part of your post and doesn’t need any rebuttal other then pointing out just how hilarious it is.

Mr Awesomer @ Nov 30th 2007 4:46PM

BTW, I know it probably sounds like I'm raging on the NFL in my post above but I don't mean it to come off that way. As a long time Packers fan I enjoy NFL games just as much as Premier League games.

Karen @ Nov 30th 2007 3:04PM

I was at a soccer game for competitive 12-15 year olds and the coach was trying to explain a perfect pass and they weren't understanding what he wanted them to do. He changed tactics and described how the play is done in Super Mario Strikers the kids all smilled and they went to the field and did it.

Jon @ Nov 30th 2007 3:04PM

Yes, but the PlayStation generation seems to be doing fine in the army.

English football is rubbish anyway. Glad they didn't qualify for Euro 08. Bunch of millionaire prima donnas. Keano and Billic said it right: English footballers are just too arrogant.

DangerMouse @ Nov 30th 2007 3:07PM

I blame the violence. And the boobies.

Fernando Rocker @ Nov 30th 2007 3:09PM

What an excuse!

By the way... have you seen play Kerlo "Foquinha" ("seal) from Brazil?

http://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=foquinha&search=Search&sa=X&oi=spell&resnum=0&spell=1

He is the a new soccer player, with the seal techinque, and also with speed and good shoots.

Matias @ Nov 30th 2007 3:13PM

lol owned

brian @ Nov 30th 2007 3:11PM

what the heck does soccer have to do with people playing video games?
This doesn't even make any sense, am I making their team worse because I play video games?

daniel @ Nov 30th 2007 3:22PM

this statement will be made all the more ironic when we lose to south korea or japan

WiNG @ Nov 30th 2007 3:25PM

You know, or ummmm maybe your team can't win every game?

I get the impression he treats his team as if they deserve to win uncontested seasons.

Jon @ Nov 30th 2007 3:42PM

That is the view commonly held within the England football team and the media. And it is the primary reason why they failed. Just read the latest comment by boy wonder failure Michael Owen.

ComicShaman @ Nov 30th 2007 3:31PM

I think he was saying this because the British team kept trying to enter cheat codes during the match. Their captain could be heard screaming "Up, Down, Left, Right, L1, L2... DAMN! That's supposed to give me a giant super-deformed head!" And then the Croatians scored again.

Tukulito-Zakayama @ Nov 30th 2007 3:37PM

ha,ha,ha LOL...

FOXHOUND @ Nov 30th 2007 3:33PM

Indeed. Those SILENT HILL V nurses do have a mighty fine rack for some demonic chicks. If they could just ease up with the razor gouging, I'd show them a thing or two...

Nigeria @ Nov 30th 2007 3:38PM

GGGGGOOOOOOOAAAAAAAALLLLLLLL

ThornedVenom @ Nov 30th 2007 5:54PM

Comment system FTW.

Corpse89 @ Nov 30th 2007 3:38PM

that video is in quite bad taste :S .Robert Green was caused serious injury in that incident, he did not fall through stupidity, but because his groin muscles snapped under his own wait. On the other hand, playstations and xboxs are not ruining sports talent :P

Jake @ Nov 30th 2007 3:38PM

If it weren't for those stupid sports in high school, I'd have more people to play video games with. Man, soccer is stupid.

Blah blah blah my way of life is better than yours blah blah blah farting noises blah blah I'm an asshole.

Cheestring @ Nov 30th 2007 3:42PM

Maybe its the fact America plays so many games that they produce a shite football team. Just pointing out the obbious.
Oh - and why you need so much protection in your other game called football (except you're touching the ball with your hands more so than your feet, whats with that?)

Cheestring @ Nov 30th 2007 3:44PM

obvious* my bad

dizzy @ Nov 30th 2007 3:43PM

ok, so, the evil evil video games: make us violent, are murder simulations, subject the young-uns to foul language and teh pr0ns, and now makes football/soccer teams suck now?

I know I missed a bunch more, feel free to add to the list =|

WiNG @ Nov 30th 2007 4:21PM

They get journalists fired.

Poisoned Al @ Nov 30th 2007 4:02PM

Of course it's video games! It can't be the FA being a bunch of incompetent retards who heads in any other organization would have been kicked out years ago. Nope, it can't be their fault they cherry-picked a lackey manager over people who were good at managing, not arse kissing. It's not becuase the England team are a load of over-paid dick-brains that are under orders by their clubs not to take risks in international matches.

Nope, HAS to be video games becuase that's who everybody else blames.