Something Awful pokes fun at Mass Effect
by Griffin McElroy 
{ Dec 1st 2007 at 1:00PM }
We've recently finished our first play-through Bioware's gargantuan space opera, and while we walked away from the experience with great satisfaction, we humbly suggest they change the title of the game from Mass Effect to "The Galactic Adventures of Chatty Cathy." Seriously, you'll exchange more words with your enemies than you will bullets. It's like a 12 Angry Men simulator, only in space, and sans Tony Danza.
One of the goons at Something Awful recently made a parody of the lengthy conversation system in Mass Effect. Don't judge the comic by it's corny title (Ass Effect? Really?), as it actually has a few nuggets of comedy gold. However, if you haven't played the game yet, you might not get some of the jokes -- in which case, we present an alternate comic: Marmaduke!
He's a dog who thinks he's a person!
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Reader Comments (Page 1 of 1)
jefffff @ Dec 1st 2007 1:08PM
holy crap that was funny.
Crazy Vincent @ Dec 1st 2007 2:43PM
Indeed, that dog catcher never saw it coming!
Vigi @ Dec 1st 2007 3:24PM
Heathcliff could kick his ass.
hvnlysoldr @ Dec 1st 2007 5:12PM
If Garfield weren't so lazy he'd clobber Heathcliff.
gonk @ Dec 3rd 2007 1:09AM
you just got big-timed, little man
HEY GUYS THERE'S A NEW ONE THIS WEEK TOO
(A SEQUEL)
http://www.somethingawful.com/d/video-game-article/mass-effect-2.php
Steve @ Dec 1st 2007 1:09PM
When I think "12 Angry Men," I don't think Tony Danza. Do you?
why not the LS2/LS7? @ Dec 1st 2007 4:12PM
Call me crazy, I think Henry Fonda.
Mainman @ Dec 1st 2007 1:14PM
Copypasta at its finest.
jovin6 @ Dec 1st 2007 3:12PM
Was that really from Anon?
Random1448 @ Dec 1st 2007 1:23PM
Tony Danza!? was he in a remake or something?
Arno @ Dec 1st 2007 1:29PM
Dumb.
Homer 918 @ Dec 1st 2007 1:33PM
That was funny?
The feature that they seem to be criticizing is completely optional, it's there for people who want to find out more about the game and the game world. Additionally, you're not reading text, and everything is done with exceptional voice talent.
Einhanderkiller @ Dec 1st 2007 1:51PM
Yes, it was funny.
Ethan @ Dec 1st 2007 6:37PM
I think the point was that the extra dialogue is unexpected, when he chooses trays it lead to an explanation of trays, not trays.
I think Mass Effect is exactly my type of game. Still thought that was very funny though.
Mike-453 @ Dec 1st 2007 1:40PM
Heh.
If you criticize lots of dialogue in games, then you're clearly missing the point of why someone would play through Mass Effect.
Ranko @ Dec 1st 2007 1:41PM
Tony Danza was in the remake.
tmacairjordan87 @ Dec 1st 2007 1:55PM
it's called a joke guys lol. I adore mass effect as much any fan of it but i can see what they were getting at with it. Having an in depth convo with some dude then saying sorry not interested is kinda odd, but funny
Justin B @ Dec 1st 2007 1:48PM
They also seem to be making the point that the options you choose do not correspond to the things your character says. This is true, however they always hold the same meaning as the abbreviated choice you make.
And as someone who loved KotoR, I was extremely disappointed by this game.
Nestor_Elias @ Dec 1st 2007 2:17PM
Tony Danza? That mediocre remake? When I think of 12 Angry Men there is only one man worth mentioning and that man is Henry Fonda.
Grant @ Dec 1st 2007 2:26PM
Oh that Marmaduke, always getting yourself into such peculiar predicaments!
Ally @ Dec 1st 2007 3:00PM
I always think of John Shepard in Stargate when they say shepard!
hvnlysoldr @ Dec 1st 2007 5:15PM
I love StarGate. They sort of jumped the shark when MacGuyver stepped back.
Speddy @ Dec 1st 2007 3:25PM
I have to go now.
ThornedVenom @ Dec 1st 2007 3:49PM
Sloppy Joes are the new Hot Coffee.
Shockgamer @ Dec 1st 2007 3:50PM
Something Awful: Killing your faith in humanity 24 hours a day, seven days a week.
Sam406 @ Dec 1st 2007 5:44PM
Amen, my brother, but don't forget:
Something Awful forums: If you find a worst way to spend 10 bucks, you can have your money back.
ogvor @ Dec 1st 2007 4:10PM
Marmaduke can actually be hilarious. Check out this website, where a guy explains Marmadukes humor.
http://marmadukeexplained.blogspot.com/
I know that sounds pretty stupid, but this website is consistently hilarious.
Also, while I haven't always found much funny on somethingawful, Video Game Articles is always funny. The 1 sentence reviews are all you really need.
LaughingTarget @ Dec 1st 2007 4:33PM
It was stupid up until the last couple of panels, starting when Sheppard said, "You just got big timed, little man."
unfriendly_cat @ Dec 1st 2007 5:04PM
"you'll exchange more words with your enemies than you will bullets"
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Of course the last (and perhaps the only) RPG I played where I was satisfied with both the quantity and quality of writing was Planescape, so I might be in the minority here.
honkyjesusownsu @ Dec 1st 2007 6:39PM
Too bad that whole parody reminded me a little too much of the actual storyline in Mass Effect. Amazed as I was I was able to finish this snoozer, this story seemed like they took all the bad things about Star Wars and Halo and combined it into one weak plot.
Rather lame.
BioShock - GOTY.
love, honkyjesus
tmacairjordan87 @ Dec 1st 2007 9:27PM
so you say mass effect had a weak plotline, but yet you say bioshock goty? how can one contradict himself so badly
refinedsugar @ Dec 1st 2007 7:29PM
Hilarious! Ask about one thing, hear about another. Ask, inquire, bail out. LOL. Captures any game that relies heavily on character chosen dialog to drive the story.
BananaBoat @ Dec 1st 2007 11:43PM
I don't fault Mass Effect for it's story, even though it was pretty generic sci-fi, but where I do fault it is the graphical glitches throughout. The game can't keep a steady framerate to save it's life, and textures pop in and out at random. Tack onto that the fact that you get to choose between Good and Still-good-but-kinda-a-douche, and not between good and evil (you can't kill random civilians) and the game is a dissapointment compared to KOTOR.
Not to mention that I played for an hour thinking that my disc was screwed, or my TV was screwed, only to go to the options and see a freaking setting for "Cinema Grain" (or something to that effect. It added hideous flecks of grain to the picture) and it was on by default. I don't know which idiot made that happen. Not to mention the bugs, and the elevators. If I had to rate the game, I'd give it an 8.5 overall, after having taken off 1.5 for bugs and for graphical F-ups.
Jake @ Dec 3rd 2007 12:02AM
Though I haven't yet finished, Mass Effect is tied with FFVII and Chrono Trigger as the best RPG I've ever played. Granted, personal taste plays a role. I died in battle once due to a glitch where I got stuck and the framerate does get shaky, but really the tech issues haven't affected my enjoyment of the game.
The combat system is fun for an rpg imo. My only real knock on the game is how dumbed down the rpg elements are like with gear and powers and whatnot.
With that said, the comic was pretty hilarious and accurate imo. I could see where a completist would get annoyed with all of the excessive questioning options. When I play the game, I only inquire on things that I am actually interested in or need for a mission.
honkyjesusownsu @ Dec 2nd 2007 12:35AM
tmac I don't even understand your comment.
Mass Effect's plot was typical for videogames (deep but corny) and the dialogue system didn't help and rarely changed anything in the game. Along with obvious technical issues best evidenced in something as simple as getting lodged someplace where you can't get out and have to re-load and lame combat the case is pretty clear.
BioShock meanwhile had a story a plot-twist unlike any other in a videogame.
If I need to explain simplicity to an even further degree let me know, sir.
Paul P. @ Dec 3rd 2007 10:47AM
Hey joystiq, you guys can stop judging corny titles when you stop using cat macros and thinking it's funny.