Today's Vii-est video: Vii commercial

by Scott Jon Siegel { Dec 4th 2007 at 1:01AM }

Are you sick of the Vii yet? Because we're not. We don't really have a clue what's being said in this 4-minute commercial, but it honestly doesn't matter. What matters are the re-used clips of the same girl playing the same game, the Vii's flying wildly through space, and the creepily voyeuristic hand-held camera moments.

Additionally, ten Stanley nickels go to the first person who spots the half-second cameo by sister-site Engadget. It's on like Donkey Kong.

Tags: chintendo-vii, hottest-video, hottestvideo, vii, votd

Reader Comments (Page 1 of 2)

gonk @ Dec 4th 2007 1:14AM

stanley nickels?

like stanley goodspeed from the rock?

or stanley tweedle from lexx?

rTwelve @ Dec 4th 2007 1:27AM

stanley from the office

schrute bucks?

gonk @ Dec 4th 2007 1:43AM

lol, i loved stanley's fast walk when it was free pretzel day

JarMustard @ Dec 4th 2007 1:15AM

i never cease to be amazed with what the chinese will copy. theres probably a site somewhere comparing the chinese copies with the originals, everything from fake mini-coopers to fake apple computers (with some sorta pear symbol) ps: the "athlete" they show is unenthusiastically speaking of health benefits for kids (i found it kinda funny)

JarMustard @ Dec 4th 2007 1:17AM

(correct me if im wrong, my chinese is lacking)

Deck @ Dec 4th 2007 1:16AM

That was.... scary.

graham_best @ Dec 4th 2007 1:25AM

Well... That's four minutes of my life I'm never getting back...

The Engadget reference shows up 4 seconds from the end of the video. If their English is as bad as my Chinese, I'll guess that they don't realize that Engadget is mocking them...

Jake @ Dec 4th 2007 9:43AM

Yeah, I don't think a console like this will work. The graphics don't match the 360, not even close. And the apparent motion controls seem gimmicky and tacked on. And who the hell wants a tiny console with a rectangular Vii-mote, as I'll call it? Just seems too casual and gimmicky to ever take off.

Colin @ Dec 4th 2007 1:25AM

The best part of it by far, was Stanley Nickels. I love you guys. Did you run out of Schrute Bucks? XD

RatBoy @ Dec 4th 2007 1:26AM

You guys are way too hard on the Vii. I really think that this could be the next major contender in the console wars. It's just going through a growing pains period that all new consoles face when they first reach the market. As soon as it hits it's stride I think the Vii will really be showing you all what new and innovative gameplay is all about.

- ViiFanboy

FOXHOUND @ Dec 4th 2007 8:03AM

Can't wait for:

ViiZapper
It's an iridescent light gun!

ViiFit
It's just a taco. Really, that's it.

ViiPlay
Turn on the system with a friend!

ViiLive
Empty out those 2 old cans of corn in the back of your food pantry, attach a string and LAN-connect to the "cannerets" with a buddy! Or that weird uncle that enjoys hugging you a bit too much!

bobartig @ Dec 4th 2007 3:20PM

I'm concerned that too many titles are mini games, or gimicky ports with motion sensing tacked on, and don't offer much depth of play. What does Vii have to offer for the hardcore gamer?

And, not to bring this up again, but the hardware is seriously lacking. A developer friend of mine referred to it as basically to GameSquares duct-taped together. The Vii just doesn't have the graphics hardware to keep up with My YBoy480, or my PlayCenter3.

NukeAssault @ Dec 4th 2007 1:26AM

Color me purple but i think Engadget was shown twice. Once in the beginning(after baseball) and at the end (when they show different sites). Ill take 20 Stanley nickels plz.

RatBoy @ Dec 4th 2007 1:38AM

Also, I believe that Joystiq has a distinct anti-Vii bias. This is troubling to me because I come here for the majority of my gaming news and it is disheartening to see you slandering the system I love. I hope the editorial staff will take steps to rectify this problem in the future.

- ViiFanboy

Scott Jon Siegel @ Dec 4th 2007 4:25AM

Who wants to start the VDF, then?

Cluckyx @ Dec 4th 2007 7:51AM

This made me lol. Nice to see a bit of satire here and there.

Kettch @ Dec 4th 2007 1:45AM

That video was like a train wreck, I couldn't stop watching it.

Marc Vong @ Dec 4th 2007 1:47AM

watching this kind of made me sick.. the problem is that because of the vii.. chinese people may confuse it with the real wii.. the wii's aim is to broader their range of consumers by trying to reach non-gamers.. and because most non-gamers do not have much knowledge about videogames.. that is what will make chinese people believe that this is the "original" wii that some may have heard from foreign countries.. Also it will easily be mistaken for the real thing because of its similar pronunciation and I do not think that many chinese people pay much attention to the way it is written.. that is problem of the "word of mouth" concept being exploited by the chinese manufacturers...

I have met some chinese people who strongly believed and argued back that the fake stuffs they were buying were the real thing that other people in other countries were buying..

Now I really wanna see what s gonna happen when the wii will officially enter the chinese market :)

NB: they even endorsed some singaporian sportsman.. I wonder how much he got paid to say all that BS.. :S.... they even put soem western people which could really put more confusion in chinese people' heads...

ThornedVenom @ Dec 4th 2007 2:11AM

Confused between the Wii and the Vii? I thought that was only a German pronunciation problem. ;)

The main reason why the Vii would work in China is that a system like that can bring in the innovative motion-sensing factor to an even MORE accessible price range. Good graphics cost money.

Speaking of graphics, my eyes just caught herpes.

Josh @ Dec 4th 2007 1:50AM

I could really see this thing becoming a vii-able competitor to the "999999999 in 1 Super Game" and the "POP Station". Maybe even the Atari Flashback.

bm @ Dec 4th 2007 5:58AM

We need a video review similar to what the popstation got.

Keith L. Dick @ Dec 4th 2007 2:20AM

Hehehe...

Let's band together and buy "ALL of Them" then resell them for 5 times what we paid to the idiots that just noticed they ran out of stock...

Then again we can just ignore since it's a foreign scam at best...

aristokrat @ Dec 4th 2007 2:22AM

On the bright side, it'll save the Chinese consumer from the horror of friend codes.

Cuja @ Dec 4th 2007 2:33AM

I'm sure they have VC too.

BPM - The Return @ Dec 4th 2007 3:05AM

They call it Artificial System instead.

Knoxximus @ Dec 4th 2007 3:21AM

That spokesperson that is an 'athlete'....for WHAT? Is he a professional eater?

potato @ Dec 4th 2007 3:57AM

They're speaking Chinese, I'm a bit rusty, but here's a rough transcript:

"Vii "motion sensitive bat" (seems like a Chinese tagline for the product), officially launching today.

You've never seen anything like this before (yeah right), this is the international sensation sweeping the globe, the indoor sports simulation game console, Vii.

Just pick up the bat and point it at your television, and you can play ball, fish, play darts, or any one of 12 sports activities. Completely not limited by weather, space, or time, it has the Vice President of the Singaporean Olympic Atheletes Association, James, (where's the last name?) hooked! (cue testimonial here)

'Instilling a habit of athletic activity, is the greatest gift a parent can give their child!' (yeah, by playing games...)

Vii allows your child to train their physical health in their own home, saving you from wasting money teaching your kids actual sports, and saves on space in the home (cue pictures of PS2 with mass of tangled wires)

With as many as 12 international sporting events, it all fits into this tiny Vii console. Realistic graphics, (unknown phrase), high-quality sound, real vibrations in your hand! It will feel like you're actually there!

(cue bunch of kids testimonials, which all amount to 'It's fun!')

Just pick up your Vii motion sensitive bat, point it at your television, and you can play ball, fish, play darts, with up to 12 different sports games you can play! Featuring a completely Chinese user interface, both young and old will have no trouble using it. A timer feature prevents your children from over-exerting themselves! Three colours for you to pick from! Comes with 12 games, and stickers for the bat, and a sports introductory manual!

(cue creepy home video of kids playing game)

How long has it been since you spent time with your child? Do you know how lonely YOUR parents are at home? A Vii game system allows you to express your love for your family (yes, it makes up for all that old folks home neglect!), and cements the familial bond that comes from playing together, allowing your lonely folks to discover a new source of happiness!

Just pick up your Vii motion sensitive bat, point it at your television (you know the rest, ugh, what a crappy slogan)... combined with an ergonomic design, your whole family with love it!

The Vice President of the Singaporean Olympic Athletes Association and his family are all avid fans of the Vii.

Realistic graphics, great sound, real vibration effects, lets you experience it like you're actually there! Vii game consoles, visit our website!"

-- End of transcript --

A bit rough, but I cannot believe they have the gall to prey on the whole old folks home angle, or the fact that they insist this is an actual sports replacement. But China is a sad, sad country when it comes to their seniors, and their children, so I'm not really too surprised.

aristokrat @ Dec 4th 2007 4:11AM

It seems like there are some serious ethics-in-advertising issues over there. Do Chinese commercials regularly blatantly lie about these imitation products? These kinds of claims would get torn apart in regular property-rights countries.

On the hand, I might have to try to find one of these, since it doesn't seem to be governed by space or time (let alone weather)! Let's see if that bastard can do 90, though...

potato @ Dec 4th 2007 4:17AM

I believe the comments about "space, time, and weather" are to imply that you can play sports regardless of time of day, weather conditions, or lack of space.

But you seem to think that the rule of law even exists in China... It's sadly one of the most post-apocalyptic environments you can ever know. It's a country where the guy with the biggest checks makes the decisions, and likewise nobody is sue-able, so long as they've made their annual BMW donation to the local magistrate.

You know all of that big-corporate-gone-bad dystopian fiction you've been reading? It exists, its name is China.

ZapDash @ Dec 4th 2007 4:39AM

"saving you from wasting money teaching your kids actual sports"

Best ad ever.

ThornedVenom @ Dec 4th 2007 7:31AM

Sadly enough, the Vii has done ONE thing better than the Wii, and by a WIDE margin.

=>"Three colours for you to pick from!"

George Liu @ Dec 4th 2007 4:36AM

@potato

"With as many as 12 international sporting events, it all fits into this tiny Vii console. Realistic graphics, (unknown phrase), high-quality sound, real vibrations in your hand! It will feel like you're actually there!"

Unknown phrase is "0 latency motion sensing"

JoE @ Dec 4th 2007 4:56AM

Yo kids, chill.

This commercial isn't mainstream prime-time-always-on-rotation run. It comes channels that only sell products (like male enhancement products) and late night.

Speaking for the Chinese population: we're not stupid, we know this is a cheap knock-off. When DDR came out, there were loads of knock-offs of that, too.

Matthew @ Dec 4th 2007 8:47AM

Well that explains the music.

mr mobius @ Dec 4th 2007 5:42AM

This is a real product? How the hell can Nintendo not sue? Nintendo must be pissed. How many Chinese people actually will know the difference in Wii and Vii and how much advertising is this getting? I hope that tv ad isn't shown a lot. It is a hell of a length with top class production values though at least.

Cluckyx @ Dec 4th 2007 8:07AM

For at least 10 years, there have been cheap knock off products of modern game consoles that behave absolutely NOTHING like the original and they look different enough to just step outside of the copyright laws.

With such classics as:

THE GAMESTATION (PSX):
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QXxttqyOGWU

THE POPSTATION (PSP):
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NvXleDSkB-g

THE POLYSTATION 3 (PS3):
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_a6lxiB1b_I

You get the idea

GRANTED @ Dec 4th 2007 9:43AM

it goes way beyond consoles.

http://creativeadvertisingworld.com/bmw-7-vs-byd-f6/

tc @ Dec 4th 2007 5:57AM

this shit is bananas

Santo @ Dec 4th 2007 6:19AM

I would have expected a pair of Russian guys in suits saying "Vii vould like play".

Lemmiwinks @ Dec 4th 2007 12:57PM

high-larious

arrakisman @ Dec 4th 2007 8:12AM

Its the PEOPLE'S console!!

FOXHOUND @ Dec 4th 2007 8:18AM

"The ROCK says... that he wants you to shine that Vii up real nice. Get up in there all good and everything. Then turn that 'Vii Bat' sideways, and stick it straight up your POPSTATION ass!

...IF YA SMELLLLLLLLLLLAAAAHHH....

What the ROCK...

...is cookin'."

/end