Zero Punctuation spares the life of Assassin's Creed

by Ludwig Kietzmann { Dec 5th 2007 at 7:38PM }

This week, rapid-fire ranter Yahtzee turns his verbal assassination skills on a game with a matching murderous motif, Assassin's Creed. Though Ubisoft's expansive bump-off sim has divided gamers and critics alike, Yahtzee picks a clear side by the end of this Zero Punctuation episode -- and it's not the one you might expect. Though he didn't approve of the combat or "wordy" dialogue (watch out, Mass Effect), it seems the Prince of Persia-esque platforming and non-linear "faffing about" convinced the man with the sweet hat to give the game an overall thumbs up.

Didn't see that coming, did you? Find the (NSFW) video proof after the break.

[Thanks, Mike]

Tags: AssassinsCreed, Escapist, Ubisoft, Yahtzee, Zero-Punctuation, ZeroPunctuation

Reader Comments (Page 1 of 2)

NaeemTHM @ Dec 5th 2007 7:45PM

Yahtzee...the only reviewer left telling it how it is. He always hits the nail on he head.

Assassin's Creed rocked though, definitely better than a spooge filled sammich.

Fox318 @ Dec 5th 2007 8:20PM

He's not the only reviewer...

And I really enjoyed Assassin's Creed. But I understand the complaints.

Hashbrown_Hunter @ Dec 5th 2007 8:50PM

Yahtzee is the Roger Ebert of games....only he likes games.

FraGNeM @ Dec 6th 2007 7:01AM

He's got his own opinion, just like the rest of them.

I often find his genuine complaints to be a bit petty, but it's nice to hear potential faults in a game before I purchase.

JL @ Dec 6th 2007 11:20AM

Seriously....Roger Ebert is a douche.

colin @ Dec 5th 2007 8:01PM

assassin's creed, the only good game of 2007? yeah right.

brandon_r87 @ Dec 5th 2007 8:03PM

In other news, Yahtzee fired. Wasn't up to the standards of how they review games at The Escapist. Simply unprofessional.

Hashbrown_Hunter @ Dec 5th 2007 8:52PM

It looks like you're not getting Yahtzee's job because that wasn't clever at all.

ZING!

gonk @ Dec 6th 2007 1:51AM

fwoo, there goes the joke, right over hashbrown's head

Ghen @ Dec 6th 2007 10:40PM

Did you happen to see that readers can skin the site with Altaïr, Lucy Stillman, or Altaïr and Lucy together?? Did you see they can cut together their own riveting Assassin's Creed trailers??

GoldenS1104 @ Dec 5th 2007 8:05PM

F*CK! I didn't play this yet. I'm disappointed in both Joystiq and Yahtzee for t3h sp0ilers without a warning. For shame. I guess it's probably not too bad since many reviers said the story wasn't all that great anyway. Ludwig, for others like me, I'd appreciate it if you added a warning to the title, or the article, or both. Thanks :)

Rufo Sanchez @ Dec 5th 2007 8:52PM

It's not really much of a spoiler - the game strongly hints at it the second you insert the disc (even before the main menu - there are also similar hints in the preview trailers), starts off as soon as you hit New Game so that you KNOW something is up and it's completely explained within the first three minutes after you select New Game.

GoldenS1104 @ Dec 5th 2007 9:15PM

then i guess that's not so bad. still though, I would have like to get the game without already knowing what the whole mysterious future secret from the trailers was. o well, no biggy, ive never been big on story anyway.

Jeff @ Dec 5th 2007 9:26PM

I completely forgot I don't have this game yet, and wholly intend to get it when it comes out for PC.

Crap.

Delgado @ Dec 5th 2007 9:33PM

It is still a spoiler, and he is completely right. I got really pissed at GameTrailers when they screwed it up for me, in their 360 vs PS3 comparison.

Greyseal @ Dec 5th 2007 11:07PM

How is it a spoiler if it's included in the first three minutes of the game? Is it also a spoiler to know that you use knives? Hell, perhaps they should have called the game Poodle Dancing, to make sure you didn't find out in advance that the main character is an Assassin.

Revealing the basic starting premise of a story is part of a review. If it's revealed that early, it's not a secret.

Trickob @ Dec 5th 2007 11:42PM

touchet

Snipermonky @ Dec 6th 2007 11:17AM

Its Touché...

Mike @ Dec 8th 2007 2:36PM

How many months does a game have to be out before you people think it's okay for everyone to start sharing in the enjoyment of what part of the story they enjoy/hate.

Just because you cannot afford the game or didn't want it enough to buy it in the first (let me count) 26 days now that it's been out doesn't mean the entire internet should tiptoe around avoiding 'spoilers'. Either buy the game or stop snooping around articles discussing the game if you don't want anything 'ruined for you'.

Dirk Dorkelson @ Dec 5th 2007 8:06PM

This is the first one of these I've actually watched. Is this a good example of the ZP reviews, or is it one of the weaker ones? I didn't get what the big deal was. The art style was OK, but the guy talks so fast it's something of a chore to sit and listen to him. I mean, I talk pretty fast, but if I was making a Web video or podcast, I'd definitely slow it down a bit and enunciate a bit more.

Johnny Bloom @ Dec 5th 2007 8:10PM

It's not the strongest, but still, pretty funny. His whole draw is the speed, curing, and Britishness. This wasn't his stronger one. I suggest you watch the Bioshock or Medal of Honor: Airborne review. Have a pleasent day/evening. Peace.

NaeemTHM @ Dec 5th 2007 8:10PM

Oh wow...you know what's funny? I actually thought he was slowing it down now. But I guess I'm just used to how fast he speaks.

Anyone else feel like this was slower than usual?

GamerCrusader @ Dec 5th 2007 8:11PM

I think you missed the POINT of watching his reviews. You do know who Yahtzee is and how he reviews right?

GamerCrusader @ Dec 5th 2007 8:11PM

I think you missed the POINT of watching his reviews. You do know who Yahtzee is and how he reviews right?

Josh Smith @ Dec 5th 2007 8:15PM

Zero Punctuation means he talks fast without pauses! This one was good though the other reviews seem to have a bit more angst and that makes the video.

I'd give ZP another chance if you didn't enjoy this one.

Dirk Dorkelson @ Dec 5th 2007 8:17PM

Thanks Johnny. I'll watch the BioShock one. Generally, I only like to watch video reviews of games I've finished (the spoilers, man). I may have missed some of the appeal of the AC one b/c I cut it off as soon as he started getting into plot/spoilerish stuff.

Regarding the fastness. I can still understand him just fine. (I have judged high school debate, after all.) I just found it more an impediment to appreciating him than something that enhanced the overall package.

The review seemed funny and thoughtful, but I guess I assumed this guy has a huge cult following, based on the weekly slavering Joystiq posts. Maybe it's one of those cult things that I don't get (Rocky Horror Picture Show), as opposed to one I do (Kids in the Hall).

Justin B @ Dec 5th 2007 8:17PM

Actually yes, it is probably the weakest so far. Normally he talks much faster and mocks the game and everything else far more so.

Johnny Bloom @ Dec 5th 2007 8:23PM

That's weird. I was in debate in high school. This argument is nontopical, and the counterplans affirm our plan(lol, debate humor).

mr mobius @ Dec 5th 2007 8:31PM

His fast style make it quite eccentric and means that the small jokes come thick and fast, so they build up, and that there aren't huge gaps between jokes. It also means it doesn;t last ages and get dull really quick. It always makes me wanting more, which actually is the main reason I checked this site today cause I figured Yahtzee is usually mid-week for his reviews.

It could be hard to follow but you need to sit down and concentrate on the video to get the maximum from it. Compare with the slower Some Punctuation parody to see how the speed helps.

May not been his best as he doesn't compeltely slate the game and therefore is less sarcastic than usual. Very good still. I just wish he;d do one on Mario Galaxy to see what he;d say.

Dirk Dorkelson @ Dec 5th 2007 8:34PM

OK, I watched the BioShock one and liked it more. I think in general I just prefer to read reviews, but for a video review, this was plenty swell. Thanks, everyone.

jsn @ Dec 5th 2007 8:37PM

I don't find the guys reviews all that funny myself. The whole angsty brit with the funny dialect was funny the first few times I heard it, like ten years ago.

Vegeta (aka Ska Oreo) @ Dec 5th 2007 10:01PM

Too me it seems like he's been getting less funny with each review.

Vegeta (aka Ska Oreo) @ Dec 5th 2007 10:15PM

Meh. It was ok.

Though the prince of persia thing was pretty funny.

And:

FUCK OFF WHITE BOY!!!

Levi @ Dec 6th 2007 1:19PM

This one is one of my favorites mainly because of the appropriate useage of Yakkity Sax during the credit roll.

My favoite ZP video is the Psychonauts review. The nail was squarely hit on that review.

Johnny Bloom @ Dec 5th 2007 8:11PM

cursing, i mean.

burgerbat @ Dec 5th 2007 8:13PM

This is my favorite yet. Lepers with retard strength. ha.

Synner @ Dec 5th 2007 8:14PM

You guys know yahtzee got a job writing for PCGAMER right?

burgerbat @ Dec 5th 2007 8:15PM

Who didn't know the "twist" of AC by now anyway?

gonk @ Dec 5th 2007 8:41PM

the future thing? they show it right after the opening cutscene, it's not a big spoiler, lol

Cyro @ Dec 5th 2007 8:43PM

Assassin's Creed its excellent. I really dont understand what people complained about it. I loved every single second of it. I am actually going a second time around for all the flags and saving of the citizens.

I can honestly say it is one of the best games I have ever played. I am very happy with my purchase.

Mr.ESC @ Dec 5th 2007 9:03PM

Then you haven't played a lot of games ¬¬

My opinion is that assassins’ creed is not bad but is disappointing and it was advertised as something that it wasn’t, for example I thought it was a Hitman meets prince of Persia sort of deal but it wasn't and the stealth elements are pretty bad and as Yahtzee said stealth assassination is not frequent.

As the story goes well I haven’t finish the game but so far is not my cup of tea, I thought that the sole “Assassin in Jerusalem” thing was already interesting and I don’t see why they had to mix it with the Sci-fi stuff, oh well at least is original.

My first impression was bad but I have to say that when you get deeper in the game it definitively gets better. So far I believe Assassin’s Creed is sort like Oblivion except you get all these Prince of Persia crazy moves but you can’t really speak to anyone (so far) to get side quests like in oblivion and that’s lame.

I give it a 7.0 so far but if it gets better and I sure hope so because I bought the limited edition probably a 7.5 or 8.0.

RealTerry @ Dec 5th 2007 9:08PM

Which is why you have a mass affect avatar.

yojimb0 @ Dec 5th 2007 9:04PM

I won't blame you if you end up wanting to shoot it into the sun.

Angus @ Dec 5th 2007 9:30PM

Just throwing this out there, but Assassin's Creed is currently fighting it out with Psychonauts for my favorite game of all time ever.
Me and my buddy tossed the controller back and forth for something like 8 hours straight when we rented it for his 360 without really even attempting to advance the plot at all.
God I can't wait for the PC version to come out.