Hello, my name is Michael Beck, and I represent the Exploding Fruit Consortium of North America. Every day, our technicians are working to make your fruit not only delicious, but volatile, ready to pop at the slightest touch, sending succulent meat and shrapnel-like rind flying in every conceivable direction. But there's someone out there who doesn't want you to (carefully, and while always wearing eye protection) enjoy our products. There's someone out there who would rather use this nutritious (and often fatal) food source as a mere prop for his shoot-em'-up bullet ballet. That person ... is Chow Yun-Fat, star of the game Stranglehold.

Now we hear that his brutal game is getting even more despicable with downloadable content on the way soon soon. The pack will include multiplayer maps like Wong's Estate Grounds, Rooftops of Chicago and (the one that gets our blood boiling) Kowloon Market. There will also be 21 new character skins and 250 achievement points, whatever that means. Honestly, it turns our stomachs. Please, Midway put a stop to this. If not for the exploding watermelons ... think of the children (who, by the way, should not be within 100 feet of exploding watermelons).

[Via X3F]