You may have seen an ad on this very site for Uwe Boll's upcoming In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale. Do yourself a favor: Head to the official website, go straight to the "Trailer" section and buckle in for the ride of your life. There's so much to enjoy here, we simply don't know where to begin. Should start by marveling at how Ray Liotta's main display of power seems to be making books spin around? Or is that too obvious?
Should we mention some of the classic lines like "Those who you fight, we will help you fight them" and "Tomorrow we gouge evil from its shell"? Or should we note that while cool in movies like The Transporter, seeing Jason Statham (who's name is misspelled on the "Cast" page, natch) using martial arts in a medieval fantasy setting is totally rad? Honestly, we don't even know what you're still reading this for: You're about to witness the edge of reality.
Reader Comments (86)
Posted: Dec 12th 2007 1:48PM (Unverified) said
I think people are letting their Uwe Boll hate get to them. How does this look worse than any other fantasy film? I think we should try to be open minded.
Oh, and that wasn't martial arts. Geesh guys, just cause he used his foot in a fight doesn't mean he's immitating Jackie Chan.
My only real criticism is... where is the Dungeon?
Reply
Oh, and that wasn't martial arts. Geesh guys, just cause he used his foot in a fight doesn't mean he's immitating Jackie Chan.
My only real criticism is... where is the Dungeon?
Posted: Dec 12th 2007 2:01PM (Unverified) said
Boll keeps getting work because his films are basically a german tax shelter loophole. Investers can give him money, count it as a tax write off, and then get it all back from the German gov when the film tanks in the theatre.
deslock,
If you are still open minded about Uwe Boll, you clearly have never seen any of his movies.
Reply
deslock,
If you are still open minded about Uwe Boll, you clearly have never seen any of his movies.
Posted: Dec 12th 2007 6:31PM (Unverified) said
Wow foxhound that has to be one of the best calls ever. I think turning the cast into thundercats would actually probably improve the movie. Too bad that it seems like another interesting concept is going to go down the toilet. Thanks for that laugh though, good stuff. Take care.
-calimer
http://PlatinumArts.Net
Reply
-calimer
http://PlatinumArts.Net
Posted: Dec 12th 2007 2:24PM (Unverified) said
In particular, that aerial shot of the 4 guys walking on the mountain was a blatant rip off.
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Posted: Dec 12th 2007 12:37PM MysticMaven said
Wow, that sucks pretty bad, even for a trailer which is usually much more exciting than the actual movie.
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Posted: Dec 12th 2007 1:48PM (Unverified) said
"Work on my movie and I will give you five million dollars!"
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Posted: Dec 12th 2007 12:43PM (Unverified) said
Is this IGN or Joystiq? What does this have to do with videogames.......wierd.
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Posted: Dec 12th 2007 12:45PM (Unverified) said
It's a stretch, but Uwe Boll (the director) is notorious for making terrible movies based off video games (bloodrayne for example)
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Posted: Dec 12th 2007 12:45PM (Unverified) said
Something to do with the words 'Siege' and 'Dungeon', not necessarily in that order.
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Posted: Dec 12th 2007 12:56PM (Unverified) said
Oh yeah Uwe Boll the one with the low budget Haloz Threez films. Thanks. Yeah anyway Im not watching this movie Ray Liotta is ans always should be a Goodfella DAMNIT!!!
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Posted: Dec 12th 2007 2:24PM Delgadoh said
You're an idiot, Uwe Boll did NOT direct the Halo shorts. Why do you even bother commenting?
You obviously don't know what you're talking about, both on the subject of Dungeon Siege (thus making the article pertinent on a GAMING website for a GAME based movie) and on the atrocious works the director has put out.
Are you 12?
Reply
You obviously don't know what you're talking about, both on the subject of Dungeon Siege (thus making the article pertinent on a GAMING website for a GAME based movie) and on the atrocious works the director has put out.
Are you 12?
Posted: Dec 12th 2007 12:44PM (Unverified) said
It wasn't so bad, but then what do I know about dungeon seige. Looks like an action film though, and really when was the last time those were judged on plot/script.
Yea it's a Uwe Boll film. But I'd like to stay open minded.
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Yea it's a Uwe Boll film. But I'd like to stay open minded.
Posted: Dec 12th 2007 12:44PM (Unverified) said
What I don't get is the sub-title "A Dungeon Siege Tale". It only makes sense if you knew the game was already based on the game, but limiting the movie to just the game audience is just.... almost inconcievable.
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Posted: Dec 12th 2007 3:54PM (Unverified) said
Amen to that. Best trip to the theatres since Casino Royale... and with two of the same cast!
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Posted: Dec 12th 2007 12:57PM (Unverified) said
Sad... even the release date is bad for this movie. Doesn't get the confidence of a holiday season release but is handed a January 11th date instead. Hrmm... I think Underworld 2 had a similar release date...
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Posted: Dec 12th 2007 12:59PM (Unverified) said
"Uwe Boll Takes Dump in Bag and Begins Filming It" is a better headline. This movie looks horrible.
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Posted: Dec 12th 2007 1:04PM Gaming 4 Jesus said
I think I just threw up a little in my mouth.
Why not just title the movie: We Are Not Peter Jackson, But Maybe One Day...If We're Lucky.
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Why not just title the movie: We Are Not Peter Jackson, But Maybe One Day...If We're Lucky.
Posted: Dec 12th 2007 1:04PM (Unverified) said
I know a guy who made the green screens for this movie and he said the attitude on-set was "grim."
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Posted: Dec 12th 2007 1:08PM charleytony said
Where does Uwe Boll get the money (even if it low-budget) to make these movies ? I dont get it... It must be that everybody is dissing him but they also end up seeing those crummy movies... STOP THIS MADNESS!!! Dont go see this one and the next one after that and Mr. Boll will disappear by himself. You can make a difference !
L(my a55 off)OL
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L(my a55 off)OL
Posted: Dec 12th 2007 1:11PM Gaming 4 Jesus said
Unlike most directors in the United States, who receive funding from Hollywood studios, he finances his own films through his Boll KG production company.
(Stolen from Wiki)
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(Stolen from Wiki)
Posted: Dec 12th 2007 1:12PM (Unverified) said
And about to siege a dungeon...
http://www.actiontrip.com/comics/at_comic201.phtml
Load the catapults!
I mean, how will people not familiar with the game see the subtitle? Dungeon... wait you want to siege a dungeon?
Reply
http://www.actiontrip.com/comics/at_comic201.phtml
Load the catapults!
I mean, how will people not familiar with the game see the subtitle? Dungeon... wait you want to siege a dungeon?
Posted: Dec 13th 2007 12:09PM (Unverified) said
Speaking of mispellings, in the second paragraph it should be "whose" not "who's." Just thought it was ironic and all...
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Posted: Dec 12th 2007 1:21PM (Unverified) said
What the hell happened? This is not an a list cast, but damn if it isn't B/B+ list. Jason Stratham, Leelee Sobieski, Ron Perlman, Ray Liotta, fucking dude who played Sallah in the Indy movies... I really thought for a second that there was perhaps another Uwe Boll rattling around in Hollywood or something. Didn't he just release Postal? Uwe isn't gonna stop until he gets an Oscar or dies from exhaustion in the pursuit. You've got to admire the sheer force of will of this shite director.
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Posted: Dec 12th 2007 1:26PM (Unverified) said
The name you're looking for is John Rhys Davies.
I think Boll films must have some sort of tax break in them for the actors- I mean he got Ben Kingsley in one of his movies, for crying out loud.
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I think Boll films must have some sort of tax break in them for the actors- I mean he got Ben Kingsley in one of his movies, for crying out loud.
Posted: Dec 12th 2007 3:58PM (Unverified) said
More pertinent than Sallah is the fact that he played Gimli. When you're ripping off LotR, why not go whole-hog and get some of the same cast?
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Posted: Dec 12th 2007 1:25PM Wonderflex said
Let us all not forget, if you add all of Uwe Bolls Metacritic scores he only has 76 points. That's for all his movies combined.
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