Portal's plush companion cube puts a price on friendship

by Ludwig Kietzmann { Dec 14th 2007 at 6:45PM }

In case you missed it, Valve's online store now stocks a test subject's best and happily unsuspecting friend, the Weighted Companion Cube. Made of soft and sufficiently flammable polyester fiber, the demonically dimensioned (6" x 6" x 6") pal can be introduced to yourself or a "real" friend for $29.95. Unlike those irksome human mates you may or probably don't have, the companion cube will never complain when you hog all the cake or inevitably murder him.

[Thanks, PeteyH]

Tags: Companion-Cube, Orange-Box, OrangeBox, Portal, Steam, Valve

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Reader Comments (Page 1 of 1)

zkey14 @ Dec 14th 2007 6:50PM

30 bucks, haha, fat chace

Martin @ Dec 14th 2007 6:56PM

Nice use of the Still Alive song! +1

Mr.ESC @ Dec 14th 2007 6:56PM

$29.95 Ha ha Fat "Chance"

Anyway the orange box is great,is so delicious and moist.

Look at me still talking when there science to do.
When I look up there it makes me GLaD I'm not you.
I have experiments to run,
There is research to be done
on the people who are still alive...

hvnlysoldr @ Dec 14th 2007 10:28PM

Your quest is so right, you can't go left.
http://www.thefump.com/fump.php?id=149

waynski1457 @ Dec 14th 2007 6:55PM

lol, i already ordered mine. best present to myself ever!!

Rob Accomando @ Dec 14th 2007 6:58PM

Since I haven't played Portal yet, all this companion cube stuff seems reall silly.

WhatIsThatThing @ Dec 14th 2007 7:02PM

There's a simple solution to that: play Portal.

Mr.ESC @ Dec 14th 2007 7:03PM

Play Portal or else you will die!!

(Well you are going to die anyway but before that happens you could do yourself a favor and play the orange box, awesomeness at its best)

Rob Accomando @ Dec 14th 2007 7:45PM

I want to but I don't feel like buying HL 2 again. I got it for the PC when it first came out.

I'm hoping for a stand alone version

Ted @ Dec 14th 2007 8:13PM

Uhm... you can buy it on its own... $19.95 from Steam. Plus, by getting the PC version, you get access to lots of user-created maps.

Rob Accomando @ Dec 14th 2007 8:30PM

That's cool. Didn't know that. Thanks dude.

Mr.ESC @ Dec 14th 2007 7:01PM

So $29.95 huh, does it talks? .oh wait stupid question. Well at least I'm sure it won’t stab me.

Anyway I'm still waiting for my Portal Shirt and Team fortress 2 posters. I might order it but what I really want is one of those head crab hats to prove my nerdiness.

ThornedVenom @ Dec 14th 2007 7:02PM

At that price, no wonder China is winning with cheap rip-offs.

oshin @ Dec 14th 2007 7:02PM

30 Bucks and it isn`t even a proper cube !

Lanturn of Ash @ Dec 14th 2007 7:05PM

$30?! And people would buy this instead of the headcrab hats, why?

Mr.ESC @ Dec 14th 2007 7:06PM

Madness!

waynski1457 @ Dec 14th 2007 7:22PM

because i have a head-crab hat too... lol, i really am a nerd...

Patrick @ Dec 14th 2007 7:28PM

Personally, I got the fuzzy dice. I intend to split them, and keep one at home and one at the office.

Mwa ha ha ha ha!

Cyantre @ Dec 14th 2007 7:39PM

Bought and paid for without any hesitation. Thanks for the heads up Joystiq. =)

jamma @ Dec 15th 2007 2:02PM

While your buying i'll be still alive!

Shadowcast @ Dec 14th 2007 7:50PM

Only shipping within the US = fail.

Mainman @ Dec 14th 2007 10:54PM

No, that only applies to P.O. Box deliveries and their free shipment offer. I'm able to order this from the UK.

Shadowcast @ Dec 15th 2007 3:34PM

Oh, well in that case... only scanning the shipping details, instead of properly reading them = fail.

UNC Samurai @ Dec 14th 2007 7:54PM

The plush cake is a lie.

pete @ Dec 14th 2007 7:58PM

I had to buy a pair - one for me and one for my ex-girlfriend (this is the only game she played and got into). Thanks for the tip cred ;)

Ted @ Dec 14th 2007 8:09PM

You can't put a price on friendship.

Psaakyrn @ Dec 14th 2007 8:18PM

How do you know it's a he?

BPM - The Revenge @ Dec 15th 2007 1:21AM

GLaDOS refers to it as a "he."

xtremesniper @ Dec 15th 2007 12:03PM

Also, the main character in the game is a girl. Naturally, the companion would be male.

Danny @ Dec 14th 2007 8:20PM

I'd buy one if they made an 18"x18"x18" version.

shoeshine @ Dec 14th 2007 9:21PM

A little pricey, but I'd rather buy one than have to go through the hassle of making one myself(I was in the middle of making the pattern). I'm sold.

LiK @ Dec 14th 2007 9:22PM

Wow, really cool. kinda expensive tho. i'm on the fence on this one.

Phillip @ Dec 14th 2007 9:50PM

Dimensions: 6"x6"x6"

Conclusive evidence that the weighted companion cube is actually the "beast" prophesied by John and will, in fact, threaten to stab you.

Squeek @ Dec 14th 2007 11:01PM

You can make your own that is actually a cube for about five or ten dollars.

Thirty bucks? Ridiculous.

Now that I've seen the price, I'm just about ready to go out and buy some felt and stuff.

OTAM @ Dec 14th 2007 11:06PM

You know,I used to think of Portal as this cool little puzzle game. Now I basically hate of because of all the retarded shit that came from this game.

I get it. There was supposed to be cake and instead you almost got killed,there was no cake. There's a cube that you have in the game for about 12 seconds and drop into a pit. I am not even slightly amused.

I get it,I just don't want it.