Our favorite system has two screens, is controlled with a stick, and features extremely popular games about petting dogs and doing math. What we're saying is that it's not that surprising when something weird related to the DS comes along, because everything about the DS is weird.
But the things on this list are above and beyond the baseline DS weirdness. Nothing has made us go "hmm" this much since the Phil LaMarr-ious C&C Music Factory: Make My Video. Turns out, it was a banner year for crazy junk happening. Join us after the break as we look at some of the most bizarre DS stories of 2007.
1. The rise of the "sexy" DS game
Out of a recent history of fanservice-filled mobile games nowhere, SNK Playmore decided to abandon their normal development cycle of reusing character sprites for new King of Fighters recombinations, and make an original game for the DS. That game was Doki Doki Majo Saiban (later Shinpan), and it broke ground in another important way: it was the first well-known DS game that was even vaguely sexual. Finally someone saw the potential in using a touch-based interface to simulate the touching of women, we thought. It was a natural. Of course SNK couldn't flat-out state that the premise of the game was that you're groping women, so they concocted some MacGuffin about finding witch emblems hidden on their bodies.
We enjoyed the thought that the Nintendo "kiddie" image would finally be shattered by this shocking game for mature audiences -- until we found out that all the girls were underage. Well, no amount of implied anime ickiness could make the game less funny, so it's still perfect for the one use we ever wanted from it: making fun of it on the Internet.
Konami has since introduced their own interpretation of the prodding-at-bodies game, Duel Love, in which you portray a high-school girl who is apparently obsessed with the members of a secret brawling club, and is always there to congratulate, console, or apply nice, soothing towels to them. Unfortunately, Duel Love isn't out yet, so we can't rightly declare 2007 the year of the glistening chest.
2. The Best Hits Castlevania: Dawn of Sorrow boxart
4. Training games go wild
Chances are, if you couldn't do it, there was a training game to help you learn in 2007. The market for training games outside of Japan was somewhat more modest, but that doesn't mean we didn't see our share of noteworthy training materials. Speaking of which:
5. Spanish for Everyone but people who want to learn Spanish
When Spanish for Everyone actually came out in September, however, it seemed more likely to kill the trend of language games, and maybe get some people sued and fired while doing it. It seems that the developers wanted their game to stand out in some way, and they chose a nonsensical, offensive story presented in amateur-level animation. Similarly, we want this feature to resonate with our readers, and so we've decided to pound on the keyboard randomly for the rest of this paragraph lksf9ofkmkm sdm m fdwe004 iididjio;'
Here's the story, safely ensconced in a nutshell: A kid loses his DS when his friend accidentally drives off to Mexico with it (while being chased by cops), and his taxi driver aunt shows up and offers to drive him into Mexico to retrieve it. On his trip, the kid learns Spanish from a talking bull and some guy who was hanging around in a Jeep. When he finally reaches his friend's house, he is asked to courier a mysterious package -- right before a bunch of cars show up and vaguely gunshot-esque sounds ensue. We never even knew there could be a "wrong" reason to want a language training game, but there is -- and it's exactly why we love Spanish for Everyone.
6. DS Fanboy accidentally makes the news
When you go into a game store in January, a game named by us will greet you on the shelf, a gleefully maniacal smile on protagonist Robert Belmart's face as he shoots at the meddlesome ESRB rating. It is for this reason that Barnyard Blast: Swine of the Night is the greatest game of all time.
We can only hope that 2008 will bring, along with the normal, boring good games, some weird crap as well. Barring that, we'll take some logic-defying news announcements, ugly boxarts, or ridiculous glitches. Playing games is okay, but being all "Whaaaaa"? about them is the experience we're really after.