The door swung shut, his familiar frame lumbered in, sunk into the couch, like nothing had changed these last ten years.

"Where have you been?" we screamed. "It's been ten years!"

"I'm looking for some alien toilet to park my bricks. Who's firrrrst?"

"So that's it? You come in here stinking like a wet cigar and that's all you've got to say for yourself?"

He puffed on his cigar, blew radioactive smoke in our faces, and left ...

Evidently, the boys at ShackNews have gotten over their abandonment issues (any pointers?) and taken a calendar-heavy look at the game's progress (or lack thereof, knowhutamean?) over the last decade of development. Most telling: the two E3 trailers, in '98 and '01, that show plenty of gameplay in what would almost seem to be a nearly complete game. Once you're done reading that, take another look at The Duke Nukem Forever List, an incredibly sobering breakdown of the things that have transpired since the game was first announced (spoiler alert: Google didn't exist yet). How much were milk and eggs back then, Grandpa?

Read – A Decade of Duke: The Brief Long History of DNF
Read – The Duke Nukem Forever List