Pac Attack and Riot Zone slump onto Virtual Console

If you saw our new release list this week, then you know that a torrent of mediocrity is forcing us to do things we don't want to do. First it was an American Idol take-off, which every media outlet from Semi Fan Bi-Monthly to Bi Fan Semi-Monthly has done before us. Now ... the hordes have forced us to post the above, semi-Pac-Man-related video just so this post has some entertainment value, and we couldn't be more sorry.

Pac-Attack (Super NES, 1-2 players, 800 Wii Points): Though Pac-Man itself is a classic, we can't understand games that think the character identity of a soulless, yellow pizza is strong enough so that it can be transported to other games. In this case, it's a puzzler, both literally and figuratively.

Riot Zone (TurboGrafx16 CD-ROM, 1 player, 800 Wii Points): From the intro of this side-scrolling beat 'em up: "The Bossman's still in the DragonZone! Whear's that warrant you promised?!" We assume your purchasing decision is now clear.