No more big-budget bombs for Boll

by Ludwig Kietzmann { Jan 15th 2008 at 2:00PM }

Bad news for Uwe Boll love-to-haters: the infamous German director and pouting pugilist will see his future endeavors financially constrained after his latest $70 million video game adaptation, "In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale," set the box-office alight with all the effectiveness of two moist fish furiously rubbed together. The $3 million weekend opening marked the director's third consecutive failure to Boll audiences over, and with no more German tax shelter funds to rely on, it looks to be his last big-budget bomb.

Not willing to throw in the raggedy towel just yet, Uwe Boll (pronounce it correctly, please!) told The Hollywood Reporter that he plans to focus on smaller cinematic explosives. Like grenades. "These are films that represent my true passion, and they can be done with small budgets," said Boll. Bad movie lovers (or lovers of bad movies) need not fear -- if this director's proven adept at anything in the last few years, it's working around a complete deficit of worthwhile resources.

[Thanks, David]

Tags: Alone-in-the-dark, Bloodrayne, Dungeon-Siege, Postal, Uwe-Boll, UweBoll

Reader Comments (Page 1 of 1)

Obie @ Jan 15th 2008 2:03PM

SUCK IT BOLL! GTFO!

NATO_Duke @ Jan 15th 2008 2:03PM

Oh say it ain't so Uwe. Your fanclub here was really thinking this one would be Oscar worthy.

Darn. There is always a film adaptation of QBert.

Chase @ Jan 15th 2008 2:23PM

Hey now, don't go saying things like that. If someone put out a QBert movie, I'd have to see it, even if it were made by Uwe Boll. x_x

NATO_Duke @ Jan 15th 2008 2:33PM

Well how about if he takes over the Pac Man live action movie?

http://www.i-am-bored.com/bored_link.cfm?link_id=17246

Chase @ Jan 15th 2008 2:37PM

>.>

Chase @ Jan 15th 2008 2:39PM

Without the post-inhibiting emoticons.

"*looks left*

*looks right*

Yes.

*flees*"

Crono (NDF - Knight of the Old School) @ Jan 15th 2008 2:03PM

Can we declare today a national holiday?

mike_p @ Jan 20th 2008 6:13PM

Not unless his two fists have to say anything about it.

I'd like to see him go up against a Chuck Norris roundhouse!

bombtrak @ Jan 15th 2008 2:03PM

Haha! And here he claimed ITNOTK:ADST (jesus, even abbreviate it's long as hell!) would be number one this weekend.

Better than First Sunday, my ass...

aaron_k7 @ Jan 15th 2008 2:05PM

I'm going to see "In the Name of the King" tomorrow...it must be seen, that's all there is to it. You should check out Chris Kohler's (Wired) "In the Name" experience...hilarity ensues.

Phranctoast @ Jan 15th 2008 2:09PM

there is a god.

Zootittles @ Jan 15th 2008 2:14PM

I guess evil has been gouged from its shell, huh?

Todd @ Jan 15th 2008 2:15PM

How does he continue to get these actors, who have been in worthwhile movies, to work for him? He must have some serious blackmail going on...

Donald @ Jan 15th 2008 2:39PM

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tearjerker_%28American_Dad%21%29

Seth MacFarlane knows.

Mr.ESC @ Jan 15th 2008 2:15PM

I was one of the few and proud people who never watched a Uwe boll movie ever, yes and I was proud about it but then I accidentally watched "the house of the dead"

At the beginning I had a good time making fun of it(Sega rave party,wtf?),then it was sort of like a bad Pr0n movie and finally the movie was so bad there weren't enough jokes to cover the fact that I was dying inside.

Killer Loki @ Jan 15th 2008 3:33PM

my eyes and brain are still recovering from watching 'Alone in the Dark' 2yrs ago!!!

dizzy @ Jan 15th 2008 2:15PM

the mental image of two moist fish furiously rubbed together is very amusing, to say the least.

Donald @ Jan 15th 2008 2:20PM

Best news all day.

Matt B @ Jan 15th 2008 2:24PM

I'm stunned.

j/k

Robobagins @ Jan 15th 2008 2:29PM

Hatred of Boll movies is the key to pan-fanboyism unity.

Ranus Studios @ Jan 15th 2008 2:31PM

Dear Ludwig,

That first sentence contains my favorite metaphor ever.

cjshrader @ Jan 15th 2008 2:38PM

Free at last, free at last. Thank God Almighty, we are free at last!

Anni @ Jan 15th 2008 2:41PM

Tonight, he will dress his wounds...

Jerk Face @ Jan 15th 2008 2:43PM

Ludwig! Good to see your interwebs have recovered from their cheetah chewing.

xFenixKnightx @ Jan 15th 2008 2:43PM

Somebody needs some whitening strips.

DrXym @ Jan 15th 2008 2:44PM

There is no way that Boll *ever* meant to make a profit on his movies, and he would continue to get funding if he did. I wonder what the scam was in detail. Hopefully the German government got pissed at his abuse of their tax laws and threatened him with charges of fraud. It would be poetic justice if he did end up in court.

WiNG @ Jan 15th 2008 2:46PM

THERE IS A GOD

Cyro @ Jan 15th 2008 2:52PM

Hurrah!

Zoot Suit Jedi @ Jan 15th 2008 3:20PM

"set the box-office alight with all the effectiveness of two moist fish furiously rubbed together."

I chortled.

FOXHOUND @ Jan 15th 2008 3:22PM

I always liked that picture because a friend of mine put "SIT AND SPIN, VIDEOGAMERS" as a caption.

ryan @ Jan 15th 2008 3:50PM

if i was a actor i wouldnt even come close to doing a movie by uwe boll , any self respecting person wouldnt want to be associated with a movie made by this idiot..

making games into movies is one thing but he completly ruins what could make a good movie into a bad one

NATO_Duke @ Jan 15th 2008 3:55PM

That was way too serious of a comment for this place.

Zon @ Jan 15th 2008 4:08PM

Not all his movies are, in the name of the king was an ok movie not a bad one, maybe you guys should actually watch these movies before trashing them.

Zon @ Jan 15th 2008 4:09PM

Ment to say not all his movie are bad

Mal F4cti0n @ Jan 15th 2008 6:29PM

Yes, they are.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Films_considered_the_worst_ever

Alone in the Dark
BloodRayne

http://www.amazon.com/Worst-Horror-Movies-made-recently/lm/R23JJB6PT7NR3E

House of the Dead
Alone in the Dark
Bloodrayne

http://www.cinemablend.com/features/Uwe-Boll-Money-For-Nothing-209.html

I could go on, but I think I can stop there. His movies are consistenly on "Worst Movies" list all over these here intertubes for a reason, mainly because they suck ass.

Watch Alone in the Dark for the awful acting he gets his star actors to deliver. Check out his nosensical plot. Check out the lack of coherent story progression (the whole boat scene, when they open the chest they raised from the ocean floor is a prime example of what a clueless director he is).

digitalrift @ Jan 15th 2008 4:10PM

It's sad to me that Boll gets as much as $70m to film a movie, something which he has proven he's terrible at, which bombs as expected, and a genius like Joss Whedon, with a rabid fanbase and a proven history only gets $30m to film Serenity.

Anticrawl @ Jan 15th 2008 11:32PM

Damn I miss Firefly, and space show with cowboy music and a pilot who plays with dinosaurs is truely truely to great for words. So sad all the awesome ended with Serenity.

Mr Khan @ Jan 15th 2008 4:27PM

Poor Uwe, can't catch a break. What a (suppresses laugh) pity

Mr Khan @ Jan 15th 2008 4:28PM

Poor Uwe, can't catch a break. What a (suppresses laugh) pity

Geist @ Jan 15th 2008 4:42PM

"Like grenades."

I love that line.

Benjamin Heckendorn @ Jan 15th 2008 4:46PM

Dungeon Siege was a pretty decent bad movie (that is, fun to make fun of), much better than "Alone in the Dark" but not as trashy fun as "Bloodrayne" or "House of the Dead"

I went with some friends and we figured we'd be the only ones there, but there were probably 20-30 people in the theatre! (Made it harder to mock) I've been to bigger hit movies with weaker matinée crowds...

The best bad movie ever is still Dungeons and Dragons, though.