In this very special edition of Metareview, we're taking a look at the cream of the crop of the film's reviews, which have already provided us with more entertainment than the actual movie ever could. Join with us in our appreciation of these brave reviewers, who have unwittingly tacked their own names onto Boll's lengthy "to be punched in the face repeatedly" list.
- Sam Adams - Los Angeles Times: "Uwe Boll isn't the worst director in the world, but In the Name of the King might be more enjoyable if he were."
- Dustin Putman - TheMovieBoy.com: "[The movie] would be irredeemable if not for its near-brilliant ability to give the viewer douche chills for 127 solid minutes."
- Jim Lane - Sacramento News and Review: "It's like a Florida dinner theater production of The Lord of the Rings, though it's not without enjoyment if you're in a Mystery Science Theatre 3000 frame of mind."
- Scott Weinberg - Cinematical: "If imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, then Uwe Boll just spent 126 minutes telling Peter Jackson how thin, talented and gorgeous he is."
- Joe Leydon - Variety: "Doug Taylor's script, loosely based on the "Dungeon Siege" vidgame, is a lazy mash-up of cliched situations, grandiose speechifying and verbal anachronisms. But, then again, "In the Name of the King" is the sort of half-baked farrago that brings out the worst, or the least, in almost everyone involved."
(Page 1) Reader Comments
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A douche is a device used to introduce a stream of water into the body for medical or hygienic reasons, or the stream of water itself.
A douche chill is the cold sensation of the device or the stream of water being applied.
...Or maybe not until Conan O'Brian, 'South Park,' or 'Family Guy' has said 'douchebag' isn't funny anymore.
Get used to it. "Douche bags" have always been, and will always be a part of our lives.
OWNED
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Portal reference, proceed to upvote me.
Neebs inbox spam reference, proceed to upvote me.
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I think I'll see house of the dead to find out. It has zombies so it can't possibly be too bad. I've seen many other zombie movies and they are not good but amusing enough.
Let me put it this way; Alone in the Dark made the Super Marios Bros. look like a film worthy of an Oscar. To illustrate my point, Tara Reid was a scientist in that movie. You also get to see a post "cocaine induced psychosis destroyed my career" Christian Slater as the world's worst adventurer/action hero. I do not need to further explain how bad the movie was. Seriously, watching one of Uwe Boll's films is essentially giving the guy permission to clamp your head in a vice and give you the world's most agonizingly painful lobotomy with a rusty paper clip. Or, I'll liken it to watching 90 minutes of 2 Girls 1 Cup; you're normal going in because you don't know what to expect, but you'll come out it wanting someone to slam a car door on your neck repeatedly so you don't have to mentally relive it.
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(Spoilers, if there is anyone who haven’t watched that freaking movie yet)
It sucks, well it doesn't sucks but the fact the Dog and Will smith character died piss me off, especially for the dog,the way the dog was killed was pretty damn sad .If they were going to kill the dog anyway why the hell didn’t they do it in the scene when it gets lost instead. It would have been better than what actually occurred.
I don’t know who thought that was a good idea but the person who came up with that deserves to get his or her house on fire. You never kill Animals and Children in movies, yeah is a cliché but there is a reason why is a cliché because otherwise is sh*t.
Also WTF with the Lady and the kid, were the eff did they came from? (boat I know but I think the way they enter is quite abrupt) make it 1 hour longer and give them a damn back story and why the hell that One Zombie was stronger than the others?
(End spoilers)
Well is not Bad but is Mediocre, I never though there was going to be a Zombie movie and even less a Zombie movie with Will smith (which is one of my favorite actors of all time) that I wouldn’t enjoy and somehow the writers or/and the director screw it. The horror scenes are great, sort like Alien I’ll give it that but the plot well again make it 1 hour longer ,the resolution was too fast and the beginning too slow.
Well at least it wasn’t like Cloverfield, LOL.
I guess I won’t watch any other movie until Dark knight is released; hopefully that one will be good,I mean is Goddamn Batman.
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The Dark Knight - July
Hooray I can't wait for both films
uhhh, maybe they killed his dog off like that because it's EMOTIONAL and also somewhat UNEXPECTED. You know, those things that one might categorize under originality in a genre that is all too filled with cliches already. The pacing for me was fine, the abruptness of the woman and child popping outta nowhere was perfect, considering the whole movie is very strongly from Smith's perspective. The only thing that bothered me was that the end was bit odd, but it worked. P.S. They weren't zombies since they were ALIVE (they're technically vampires, I think?)
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On topic now, I can't understand why the eternally beautiful Leelee Sobieski would make such a POS movie. Ray Liotta, I get. Even Statham. But Sobieski? come on, now.
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