Zero Punctuation goes through the motions with Umbrella Chronicles
by Alexander Sliwinski 
{ Jan 30th 2008 at 6:00PM }
Yahtzee takes digs at the RE story, dialogue, and tops it with some decent potshots at the characters -- but really, who hasn't done that at this point in gaming history? In the end, he respects Umbrella Chronicles for doing something different. Hopefully The Escapist can afford to get the guy a game to actually be angry about next week.
After the break is where you'll find this week's NSFW clip.
Reader Comments (Page 1 of 1)
UltimateQ @ Jan 30th 2008 6:05PM
I just shit bricks.
Obie @ Jan 30th 2008 6:06PM
Briliant! "I do wonder why at all these webs doing here?"
jimwack @ Jan 30th 2008 6:11PM
I don't know why, but Carlos being was spared an insult caused my sides to hurt.
Mr.ESC @ Jan 30th 2008 6:21PM
Is a pretty good character but he reminds me alot of Marco of Sealab 2021.
dizzy @ Jan 30th 2008 6:14PM
Those descriptions he made of all the RE characters were dead-on... uh, no pun intended
also
WAIT FOR IT
WAIT FOR IT
PRESS IT
NOW
NOW
NOW
NOW
TOO
LATE
HA
HA
again, dead-on.
Dauragon88 @ Jan 30th 2008 6:18PM
I'd let Gabe Newell wank of on my face anyday
.....what?
Mr.ESC @ Jan 30th 2008 6:19PM
"Johnny Bravo".
When I heard that I laugh so hard the entire block hear me and my colleagues look at me as if I had mental issues.
To be honest I love Capcom, I love Zombies, I love Rail shooters, I love Resident Evil and I love goodies so I was fascinated with Resident Evil Chronicles but the Wii controllers almost ruined the experience, now I know I could buy a Wii Zapper to fix the problem which is probably what I’m going to do at the end anyway but as a good friend of mine said, “why we should pay for the errors of this b0rked controller?” well that wasn’t his exact words but the message is the same.
Nigeria @ Jan 30th 2008 6:19PM
This weeks Zero Punctation was weak.
I mean the jokes about its poor plot and dialogue were too easy.
Resident Evil's dialogue has been lampooned for years, taking more pot shots at the poor script is rather lazy. And tired.
I think Yahtzee is tired and running out of funny.
Korova @ Jan 31st 2008 6:45AM
thanks for saying it. I had the same after the last couple reviews. The anger has softened. He might need a vacation to build up the vitriol or something.
Korova @ Jan 31st 2008 6:58AM
Oh, but none of that matters, cause its still so damn funny.
Mr Khan @ Jan 30th 2008 6:19PM
Another win, but Umbrella Chronicles was a hard game to take pot-shots at
It did what it set out to do well, the only thing one could really criticize it for was its difficulty (which the hardcore, sadists we are, crave more than bash) and the fact that it is what it is: a rail shooter
But his analogy of the motivations of Umbrella Corporation to the motivations of Captain Planet villains was dead-on
dizzy @ Jan 30th 2008 6:27PM
oh and the last screen of the video - CoD 4 review next week?
Mr.ESC @ Jan 30th 2008 6:48PM
I have mixed feeling about Cod4
I played COD4 in 2 of its flavors:
Easy, dull vanilla and OMGWTF Blam th1s B0rked game Caramel.
I first played in easy which again was kind of dull because you never die in easy unless you get confused by that stupid grenade indicator. Then I swapped to Veteran which was pretty much a race against time exploiting as many errors as possible and those timed missions were effing frustrating in fact I still can’t pass Mile High Club without cheating in Veteran thanks to the goddamn awful analog sticks.
As you know the enemy in veteran likes to abuse of the grenades which are almost impossible to see and the Grenade indicator is way to confusing and this can lead you to a cheap dead because you are either running away or running towards the grenade and in the first missions when the “watch for the grenade indicator” advice appears it felts like a very distasteful sarcastic joke by the game.
At the end even if it’s a linear game the story is solid, the effects are just awesome ,the Ai is pretty good ,the gameplay except for the details I mentioned above is sweet and the variety of missions is pretty wide not to mentioned that I loved the Charlie Chapplin mode,so I liked COD4 but seriously Veteran was sort of frustrating.
Bucket @ Jan 30th 2008 7:56PM
Haha, that damn grenade indicator.
Is the grenade close enough to kill me? Do I run or try to throw it back? CHOICES CHOICES *blam*
Mr.ESC @ Jan 30th 2008 8:07PM
That was a quick example,sometimes the grenade indicator pointed a grenade next to you when it was in the next room,so if you ran away to the next room you could either get killed by enemy fire or get killed by the grenade.
Mogg @ Jan 30th 2008 6:46PM
I liked Umbrella Chronicles. One of the few games I enjoyed on Wii.
I can see where some people didnt' care for it, but it's Resident Evil! I
Hashbrown_Hunter @ Jan 30th 2008 7:02PM
"I have a bad feeling about this."
hahaha Yahtzee owns.
mr mobius @ Jan 30th 2008 7:18PM
He wins for the Captain Planet reference alone.
He didn't have much to work with in way of new insults but he tried. Liked the obscure all-county runner up mention at the end.
Is Yahtzee really gay or is it just him pandering to emails claiming he way gay?
Zorink @ Jan 30th 2008 8:29PM
EARTH!
Raikage (Wii FC 5508 0487 4434 0992) @ Jan 30th 2008 9:37PM
I'm gonna take pollution down to zero!!!
Mr.ESC @ Jan 30th 2008 9:46PM
"I'm gonna take pollution down to zero!!!"
Captain planet for prez 08!
hvnlysoldr @ Jan 31st 2008 12:09AM
FIRE!
Dr0ooo @ Jan 30th 2008 7:30PM
"Im A Riter" ...Ohh so true and funny. I wonder if Capcom will ever work on getting competent story dialog for this great series.
Poisoned Al @ Jan 30th 2008 9:02PM
I for one, hope they never do! The "master of unlocking" would just sound weird if she didn't speak in bablefished pigeon English.
A Pissed-off English Gamer @ Jan 30th 2008 8:09PM
Why the hell does he have to be angry? What the hell, a guy has to be foaming at the mouth before he's funny?
mr mobius @ Jan 31st 2008 6:37AM
He is funny but he is funnier when he is pissed. Yahtzee gets his humour from the obscure references and the fast pace of dialogue works well when he has a lot to insult about.
MasterCKO @ Jan 30th 2008 8:22PM
"And I'm sure that Nintendo can appreciate having an addition to the critically small list of games where the Wii-mote controls are actually appropriate and not gimmicky accouterments."
Read my mind.
MasterCKO @ Jan 30th 2008 8:24PM
"I reserve that for my closest personal friends and Valve employees."
LOL!
Wickedneoq @ Jan 30th 2008 8:40PM
Probably the most accurate review yet from Yahtzee. Bout time that twit is going to do Call of Duty 4, it's beginning for a flossing. I mean, c'mon, you play as a guy named "Soap" for well over half of the game, and it has these quirky bits that Yahtzee will probably enjoy (like anytime you pass by a playground...).
Wickedneoq @ Jan 30th 2008 8:43PM
"It's beginning for a flossing." My worst thinking process ever... I meant "It's beginning to look like it will get a flossing."
DangerMouse @ Jan 30th 2008 8:49PM
LMAO @ the jill sandwhich.
Thierry @ Jan 30th 2008 9:36PM
This guy's reviews are hilarious and brutal to the game dev, I eagerly await a new review weekly.
SassyPantalones @ Jan 31st 2008 12:05AM
Zero Punctuation is hilarious
Deck @ Jan 31st 2008 1:02AM
It may not be the best one he has ever done but it was... great, like always! Never a let down!
Go Yahtzee go!
gst @ Jan 31st 2008 2:49AM
I have always felt that RE has strong story elements but they lie in little sequences that I consider analagous to vignettes.
For example, in the first RE (or, at least, the GC remake) when you find the room with the man who has hung himself and you read little snippets of letters or diaries from people who were in the house or even the silly little details about the dog with the key in its collar. I think some of those little story events which are generally unrelated to the overall plot are great. To the point that when the hanged man dropped down as a zombie and tried to kill me 1)I expected it but was still scared shitless and 2) I almost felt sorry for him, even though he was of course a zombie...and fictional...but the little sequence there was just so depressing.
It is the little details of the environments, the atmosphere, the notes and letters you pick up, that make RE a good story. The story is more about creating a half-assed "plot" to lead you through a series of very well-done environments which often have their own little piece of lore or story to tell.
ThornedVenom @ Jan 31st 2008 5:06AM
Beautiful ending confession. xD
Freelance @ Jan 31st 2008 10:49AM
2:50 is freaking awesome.
foxDie @ Feb 1st 2008 2:28AM
ZOMG!
Yahtzee lives in brisbane!
I feel more proud about my city
Sam @ Feb 2nd 2008 1:02AM
Video isn't working :'( does anyone have a link to another version, like on a different player or something?