Wiimote peripheral patent diagrams are hilarious, unsettling

by Griffin McElroy { Feb 2nd 2008 at 5:05PM }

It's as if they prophetically knew that the controller market for their new system would be flooded with useless peripherals by money grubbing accessory manufacturers -- at least, we hope that's the case. We hope that Nintendo wasn't being serious when they drew up diagrams for an early patent application to show how the Wii remote would attach to other peripherals, as we assume that one of the oldest and most well respected video game companies on the planet would know better than to try to plug a controller into a skateboard, teddy bear, or rocking chair.

We imagine they ran out of ideas after the docking station and zapper peripherals, and that the rest of the diagrams were just filler. If not, when can we expect a release date on Michael McDonald's Television Shooting Simulator?

Gallery: Wii remote peripheral diagrams

Tags: controller, michaelmcdonald, nintendo, patent, peripherals, wii, wiimote, wiiremote

Reader Comments (Page 1 of 1)

Fernando Rocker @ Feb 2nd 2008 5:11PM

Teh #33 and #32 figueres looks like it could be a Wiimmote charger...

I hope Im right =)

I'm using rechargables energizer, but I want a charger like the Nyko one... but I never buy third party accesories.

Lifted 0ne 4l9 @ Feb 2nd 2008 5:57PM

those energizer rechargeables are the way to go they have much longer life than the available battery packs, for some reason these controller battery packs are never up to par with regular rechargeable batteries for some reason they give you a pretty low mAh rating and an inflated price it's BS

LaughingTarget @ Feb 2nd 2008 6:12PM

Those are Wii Remote Bricks. The Wii version of GTA will have kidnapping missions where you have to throw the ransom letter through the window of the target's home tied to a brick or a rock, this peripheral gives you the feel of really tossing that brick. Warning: Don't throw too hard, it will break your TV.

DCBlack @ Feb 2nd 2008 8:19PM

I have the Nyko charger, and I can tell you that I have no complaints. I've had it almost a year. It provides a reasonably quick charge and seems to have a very decent battery life. Of course, I don't play for hours on end every day, so what seems like a long time to me may not mean much at all to someone else. I know it lasted well through my Mario Galaxy excursion, but we'll see how it tests when I get my hands on Brawl. Good thing I've got a GCN controller with an extension cord as backup!

Fatass of Kickassness @ Feb 3rd 2008 12:31PM

I have the same Nyko Charge Station (2 of 'em actually), and I can safely say having the convenience of not having to physically take out the batteries to charge it puts it ahead of actual rechargeable batteries. When you're done playing, all you have to do is put the remote on its stand. After buying them I have yet to even reach 2-bar battery status.

emmzee @ Feb 2nd 2008 5:13PM

Hahaha, the next "sidetalkin"?
http://www.sidetalking.com/
Take a photo of your wiimote taped to something stupid [like ur head lulz] and post it :P

zuburi @ Feb 3rd 2008 1:46AM

I loved that site so much :(

Lone Starr @ Feb 2nd 2008 5:19PM

And the peripherals that made it to market aren't gimmicky?

Take, for example, the Balance Board. If MS or Sony came out with it, would people honestly view it the same way?

Before you say I hate Nintendo (I don't) and that I'm flaming (I'm not), realize that I think Nintendo's ability to do this is a credit to their product and marketing of that product. And I think Nintendo (at this moment) is the only of the big three that can pull this off.

OTAM @ Feb 2nd 2008 5:23PM

Don't encourage them for the sake of video games.

glutto @ Feb 2nd 2008 5:27PM

This calls for a Photoshop contest.

Rob Accomando @ Feb 3rd 2008 9:46AM

haha, funny stuff!

ThornedVenom @ Feb 2nd 2008 5:30PM

I'm not the one who typically calls this stuff, but this is getting ridiculous.

ManekiNeko @ Feb 2nd 2008 5:35PM

I'm calling shenanigans on this. I think this is all one big joke at the expense of gullible gamers. Did you see the blueprint for the visor? There's a label on the goggles that reads, "Do nothing."

Lifted 0ne 4l9 @ Feb 2nd 2008 6:06PM

i do not see such a label

ManekiNeko @ Feb 3rd 2008 8:34PM

Evidently the editors of Wii Fanboy added that caption themselves when they first reported on this. I thought it was part of the document, but I guess they pulled one over on me!

Double J @ Feb 2nd 2008 5:47PM

PowerGlove 2.0!!!!

TheHairyDrummer @ Feb 2nd 2008 6:13PM

My favorite is the rocking chair peripheral... it will be perfect for the next gaming craze: "Old-Man-On-A-Porch Extreme Simulator: 'Get off of my lawn you whipper snappers!'"

Jake11 @ Feb 2nd 2008 9:05PM

i hate those goddam kids, skateboarding on the sidewalk

Superstar90 @ Feb 2nd 2008 6:14PM

The guy who came up with this also came up with Luigi's final smash in SSBB.... he also came up with the mushroom power-ups idea.

Neebs @ Feb 2nd 2008 6:17PM

It's not that their worthless...it's just you have to wonder what the hell the filer was thinking when they made it.

Mr Khan @ Feb 2nd 2008 6:26PM

Probably just filed as an ass-covering measure

I mean, some of these are worthless in every sense of the word...

playwhutyalike @ Feb 2nd 2008 6:32PM

The skateboard one is awesome. Till your dad kicks you ass for rail grinding on the coffee table.

Ranko @ Feb 2nd 2008 6:50PM

1. Insert Wiimote into wheel.
2. Wait for a *CRUNCH*.

Undead Priest @ Feb 2nd 2008 8:01PM

Figure #31B is the Mario Kart Wii Wheel. Which looks exactly like it does on the supposed Mario Kart Wii box art.

Undead Priest @ Feb 2nd 2008 8:01PM

Figure #31B is the Mario Kart Wii Wheel. Which looks exactly like it does on the supposed Mario Kart Wii box art.

Undead Priest @ Feb 2nd 2008 8:01PM

Sorry for the double post. Joystiq's poor comment system strikes again.

...Jan... @ Feb 2nd 2008 8:44PM

- I remember the story that the Wiimote was meant to be an accessory for the GameCube. That patent confirms it. The thing is, why did they refile these patents for 2008?
- If it were true, then they must be considering releasing the e3 Zapper...or just making sure no one copies.

Undead Priest @ Feb 2nd 2008 9:49PM

Most patents are re-filed as to keep the rights to whatever the patent pertains to.

That and patents can take years to actually complete the filing cycle and be approved, which these seem to be the kind. Note that most products actually say "Patent Pending" on it, and not the full patent number.