Today's least safe for work video: Chains of Olympus sex game
by Kyle Orland 
{ Feb 13th 2008 at 8:30PM }
After offending the easily offendable with slightly off-screen sex in God of War and God of War II, it seemed like a no-brainer that the somewhat adult mini-game would making a return for the PSP's Chains of Olympus. Well, that mini-game has now been revealed through an NSFW video posted of GameTrailers.
This time around, the urn and peeing statue that maintained the camera's focus in games past have been replaced with a deliciously suggestive candle (pictured above), which we have to say is an improvement. We can't help but wonder, though, where they'll go next for their suggestive imagery. Rock formations? Vegetables? A lighthouse? Hmmm, they'll probably be OK.
Warning: The below video contains adult content.
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Reader Comments (Page 1 of 1)
Nick the Hero of Canton @ Feb 13th 2008 8:35PM
I'll be in my bunk.
Roflgoat @ Feb 13th 2008 8:53PM
Greatest comment on this site.
Fox has the worst taste in shows to cancel.
generic @ Feb 13th 2008 10:50PM
HAHAHAHAHAHA
FOXHOUND @ Feb 14th 2008 3:09AM
Phil Ken Sebben> "Ha ha! ...*handheld*."
jimmygotsmack @ Feb 14th 2008 3:46AM
"Phil Ken Sebben> "Ha ha! ...*handheld*.""
epic lol,
Phil Ken Sebben: "HA HA, dangle parts"
Antonio @ Feb 13th 2008 8:37PM
I didn't know the sex game came back in God of War II. I thought they left it out.
*fires up PS2*
muppetmeth @ Feb 13th 2008 8:41PM
This is Chains of Olympus, see.
HighFiveJesus @ Feb 13th 2008 8:45PM
Its in the first level, you gotta swim to get to it because its out of the way.
GoldenS1104 @ Feb 13th 2008 8:50PM
@muppetmeth
Antonio was referring to this line in the post: "After offending the easily offendable with slightly off-screen sex in God of War and God of War II..."
FidliousWong @ Feb 13th 2008 10:31PM
In the bath house in the beginning, bash away on walls in one of the "swim to" sections to find it.
Urza @ Feb 14th 2008 1:35PM
This is the PSP god of war, but there is one in god of war 2... it's in the hot tub rooms in the beginning of the game.
Kapitan Kramer @ Feb 13th 2008 8:39PM
Haha, Im ordering my Craytos 'Real-Doll' right now...
EW GROSS!
Mr.ESC @ Feb 13th 2008 8:43PM
Fox news is going to be all over this.
Geist @ Feb 14th 2008 12:55AM
I was surprised they got all over the fairly tasteful sex in Mass Effect, and not the threesomes in the GoW games.
Urza @ Feb 14th 2008 1:36PM
Oh come on.. 2 on 1s is waaay more normal then hot alien lesbian sex. Fox news won't touch this. ;)
Smoke_Dawg_187 @ Feb 13th 2008 8:46PM
Bizarre!
Savok @ Feb 13th 2008 8:47PM
Eh, boring.
Now if xp came out their vaginas like in Conan....
Autopsy15 @ Feb 13th 2008 11:53PM
Sauce for great justice!
No, I really don't want to see that.
Geist @ Feb 14th 2008 12:57AM
4chan detected, deploying elimination squads.
ScottyGEE32 @ Feb 13th 2008 8:50PM
So if Mass effect is a sex simulation game where you see nothing and don't interact in anyway...What is this then?
Mighty Healthy @ Feb 13th 2008 10:13PM
I agree with the sentiment.
Mass Effect - you can "create" a interspecies lesbian kiss, people are up in arms
GTA: San Andreas - Rockstar leaves code of a minigame that resembles the scene from Team America, people are up in arms
Bully - two boys kiss, people are up in arms
God of War 1, 2, and now Chains of Olympus - blatant nudity, lesbianism, and a teenage revelry of the occasion...WHAT DID THEY DO WITH THAT GOAT?!?!?
Donald @ Feb 13th 2008 10:26PM
Apparently sex in video games is only okay if it happened in a time BC
Geist @ Feb 14th 2008 1:24AM
Apparently they've never played Leisure Suit Larry: Magna Cum Laude.
Sara @ Feb 13th 2008 8:56PM
Wow...it's like every other God of War sex sequence. That was a huge surprise (no pun intended).
mike @ Feb 13th 2008 9:05PM
im confused by that video. It sounded like the place was under attack or something. Who stops for sex with a war going on? Furthermore, only 15 seconds, come on.... Thats just down right embarising to only last that long. :p
Mr.ESC @ Feb 13th 2008 9:35PM
Who stops for sex with a war going on?
Umm any man?
ScottyGEE32 @ Feb 13th 2008 9:40PM
Vietnam war is an example ;p
Also, the short time doesn't matter, he satisfied himself and the women. To do that in a short time is more manly than you yourself requiring a much longer time :P
Geist @ Feb 14th 2008 12:59AM
If my face was on fire and two exquisitely crafted woman asked me to join them, I'd take some time to weigh my options, then I'd join the women. My face would just have to burn.
DMeisterJ @ Feb 13th 2008 9:05PM
This alone is reason to buy this game. I was on the fence about buying it, but this has sealed the deal... If anyone needs me, I'll be under the covers... clipping my nails... lol.
rockintom @ Feb 14th 2008 5:58AM
Loser.
Edguy @ Feb 13th 2008 9:10PM
C'mon, I'm sure gamers would normally be able to find something more fap-worthy than this...
HighFiveJesus @ Feb 13th 2008 9:52PM
You're suppose to laugh and keep playing, not stop to masturbate, what kind of depraved geek would do that?
Mr Khan @ Feb 13th 2008 9:35PM
How come those "Please verify your age," things have dates on them after 1990? Why would anyone willingly enter another date anyway, unless they were just jackin' with it?
Ignatius @ Feb 13th 2008 10:34PM
They put them up for laughs. I mean, hey, today I'm 57 years old, the next, I guess I could be 42. Hey, I'm reversing the clock, back in my 20s!
Geist @ Feb 14th 2008 1:01AM
Basically, I spin my mouse wheel on the year. I'm always born on the first of January, though.
Laggy @ Feb 14th 2008 2:47AM
I've been over 18 since I was 7 according to these site restricting date things.
Neowyrm @ Feb 13th 2008 9:51PM
And that, dear friends, was awesome.
I wouldn't have been surprised if after one of the button presses blood sprayed all over the walls.
vidGuy @ Feb 13th 2008 10:02PM
Kratos needs to work on his stamina. Either that or he can please a woman faster than Superman. Wow.
V1L3 @ Feb 13th 2008 10:18PM
The liquid wax spilling all over the figurine of the woman was a little too much...
A little too much AWESOME.
Urza @ Feb 14th 2008 1:38PM
I'm glad I'm not the only one that notice. :P
samfish @ Feb 14th 2008 12:01AM
Guy didn't even last two minutes.
...how sad.
Zeus.:God @ Feb 14th 2008 12:37AM
Would you last two minutes with them?
WOOOOOOOOOO!
PointyThings @ Feb 14th 2008 12:29AM
Hah! Quick time events are worthwhile!
ThornedVenom @ Feb 14th 2008 2:19AM
WHAT THE FUCK
"Thank you my Lord" FTW
farfar93 @ Feb 14th 2008 4:54AM
Look at it this way: would you WANT to play a game that has you sit there and press a few buttons for 10-20 mins while watching a dripping candle spin around?
It's pretty standard for games to elapse time at an increased rate to make them reasonable to play.