Seen@GDC: How long is too long for Mass Effect?
by Justin McElroy 
{ Feb 21st 2008 at 9:30PM }
Typically, the answer is 18 inches, but, apparently, there is one exception to that rule, as you can see above. Why do you never hear Ron Jeremy voicing video game characters? Now you know.
Reader Comments (Page 1 of 1)
ApolloIV @ Feb 21st 2008 9:32PM
I wish my penis was that big :(
Ben @ Feb 22nd 2008 12:36AM
No, no, no, those are *metric* penis inches. You round down to the nearest ten and divide by five.
Negativecool @ Feb 22nd 2008 12:46AM
That is sad dude. I have to fold my penis in half to measure 18."
Korova @ Feb 22nd 2008 7:32AM
No you dont, cause no girl is gonna come near that thing.
Its not the size of the boat, its the motion of the ocean.
As long is your boat is think enough to make the ocean feel it.
Korova @ Feb 22nd 2008 7:37AM
I ment thick enough. Doh
FluffyPanda @ Feb 22nd 2008 10:50AM
Mr. Ed is pissed. He was auditioning for Mass Effect 2.
No wonder he has such a long face...
I'll get my coat.
DomoBraden @ Feb 21st 2008 9:33PM
wut.
EihBeir @ Feb 21st 2008 9:36PM
*clears throat*
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Pureshooter @ Feb 21st 2008 9:44PM
I would avoid making comments about having to clear your throat when the topic is an 18 inch penis.
Delgado @ Feb 21st 2008 10:50PM
You win 3 internets.
Contact Microsoft Support to claim your winnings.
Ihavepants @ Feb 22nd 2008 1:51AM
OWNED
A-Troll-Named-Slickback (Yes the A Troll Named part, and yes every time!) @ Feb 21st 2008 9:35PM
My dick doesn't fit on DVD9
Sora267 @ Feb 21st 2008 9:50PM
Mine doesn't fit on the obligatory 9,000 BluRay discs that FFXIII will take up.
ApolloIV @ Feb 21st 2008 9:37PM
I saw this picture and thought it was the notes on the Mass Effect sequel's sex scene
CONFUSEDgam3r @ Feb 21st 2008 9:38PM
Too FUNNY! FOX and JT are going to have a field day now! I-R-O-N-Y!
Savok @ Feb 21st 2008 9:37PM
If they added that sort of humor to their games we'd hold them up as the greatest writers ever.
playwhutyalike @ Feb 21st 2008 9:45PM
I've got 24 inches total. They are all in jars in the fridge.
Sora267 @ Feb 21st 2008 9:53PM
It doesn't count if you cut them off of your body. Unless you live with a jar and a refrigerator attached to your groin.
playwhutyalike @ Feb 21st 2008 10:28PM
Do I have to really explain this joke to you?
It doesn't count if you cut "them" off of your body. You mean I have more than one penis? Did I forget one in my b-hole? No, I don't live in the fridge with a jar attached to my groin.
That's the joke. They aren't mine to begin with, but know that I have them in my possesion, I can claim that I have 24 inches TOTAL.
Abuzar @ Feb 22nd 2008 12:04AM
Way to miss the joke Sora.
It was pretty funny too.
343 Guilty Fart @ Feb 22nd 2008 12:45PM
Usually if you have to explain the joke it means you failed.
Roxxorsmash @ Feb 23rd 2008 9:29PM
18 inches? Now that's a scary thought. I mean, cmon. Thats like, 6 times the length of my penis, and nobody's that long. Right? Right? umm. right?
Donald @ Feb 21st 2008 9:49PM
lol wut
Grindstone @ Feb 21st 2008 9:54PM
*sigh*
It means he's married like me. The difference being that his wife keeps his toolset in the fridge, whereas mine are in the purse... Still sucks.
Sora267 @ Feb 21st 2008 9:54PM
You should have made one of the tags be Mass-Erect. It'd be pretty fitting.
Jedijoe9 @ Feb 21st 2008 9:55PM
I honestly just got back from a presentation with Ron Jeremy in it. He came off as a total asshole.
lvl99ultrathug @ Feb 22nd 2008 12:48AM
So you could say he came off as a cock, huh?
quickshade @ Feb 21st 2008 10:06PM
ah... Ron Jeremy.......Classic guy.
Zoidberg Jesus (a.k.a. Jebo) @ Feb 21st 2008 10:14PM
Prediction: This thread will be larger than the one relating the news of Sonic in Smash Bros., perhaps even the largest in the history of Joystiq. On a side note, Ron Jeremy voicing a video game character would be terrible. Terrible!
DomoBraden @ Feb 21st 2008 10:29PM
Whatever, Ron Jeremy is the man! He is the idol we all should look up to -- a fat, hairy, ugly, slob that gets all the hot puntang his heart could possibly desire.
Besides, he did alright in "Orgasmo!", (
Hirsbrunner @ Feb 22nd 2008 1:41PM
Yeah, Ron is awful, voice and dick, which isn't that big anyway.
Google "Pron star Mandingo" for jaw-dropping length. HOLY CRAP!!
NukeAssault @ Feb 21st 2008 10:19PM
Mass Erect*
Fixt
gs191 @ Feb 21st 2008 10:24PM
:looks down then looks up in disappointment:
So this is why all my gamer girl friends like mass effect...
travis @ Feb 23rd 2008 2:28AM
hey jedi joe, do you go you ohio university? i think he is here today
Cyro @ Feb 21st 2008 10:53PM
18 Inches? WTF?
Zoesch @ Feb 21st 2008 10:59PM
Forgetting the penile jokes I find that slide to be... to put it mildly... misguided.
Recommending a Neumann U-87 as your go-to mic for voice overs should be punishable by law. Simple fact, not all voices fit the U-87, some are better served by the U-67 or an AKG C-3000 in other instances.
This made me a really sad panda.
Dan Davis @ Feb 22nd 2008 10:05AM
What??? OMG -- there WAS actual technical data on there... nice catch!
eddie @ Feb 21st 2008 11:29PM
you get that relevant information out of our thread about penises and the jokes that love them.
Dan CiTi @ Feb 21st 2008 11:36PM
This screen makes no sense to me.
Zoesch @ Feb 22nd 2008 12:06AM
They are doing a bullet list of recording must do's for voiceover and sound design sessions
1)Microphone
2)Distance of the speaker to the mic (Where the freudian slip happened)
3)Noise Floor specs (That's the level of noise when the speaker is quiet)
4)No signal processing to be done during pre/recording (No equalization, no compression, gating or ducking) meaning you should be recording raw vocal tracks and processing on post.
5)Filename conventions for the voiceover session files to include descriptions of the vocals in the file.
6)Recommending the vocal talent to project full voice at normal speaking levels (No screaming, mumbling, etc.) so all files are at roughly the same volume.
7)Filename conventions for the sound design session files to include descriptions about the sound in the file.
Seifer @ Feb 22nd 2008 1:20AM
That's not a Freudian slip. That's more like a Freudian "shove Grandma down the stairs onto a concrete floor to collect the insurance money."
Deck @ Feb 21st 2008 11:44PM
Oh so classic.
w00t Bioware!
Jonah Falcon @ Feb 22nd 2008 2:49AM
I'm only 13.5". I can act. :p
(The real Jonah Falcon, yes.)
Lekko @ Feb 22nd 2008 9:56AM
Well... that just means quiet characters are freakin' HUNG.
PojoMofo @ Feb 22nd 2008 10:18AM
I bet some flunky got fired for this little stunt.
I am a CAD tech and a buddy of mine thought it would be funny to label the kitchen of a police facility the "Donut Hole" the Chief of Police for the City of Portland Oregon didnt appreciate that. Dude got canned
This however is freaking hilarious.
Pimliconite @ Feb 22nd 2008 11:20AM
Oh My God! No substitute for a U-87?!? What were these over-funded, well-endowed idiots thinking?