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Reader Comments (14)

Posted: Feb 22nd 2008 8:20PM MisterSmith said

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Captain Falcon? Who cares?

=P

Posted: Feb 22nd 2008 9:39PM (Unverified) said

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Your fanboyism knows no bounds, does it? :p

Also, hi.
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Posted: Feb 22nd 2008 8:21PM tarngerine said

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too bad he sucks ass in brawl, just like fox and ganon

Posted: Feb 22nd 2008 8:22PM (Unverified) said

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I can't believe people actually thought he'd get cut. I mean honestly, who are they going to replace him with?

But still, I'm psyched for the Captain. His final smash is amazing from the videos I've seen.

Posted: Feb 22nd 2008 9:06PM (Unverified) said

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don't forget the reverse FALCON PUNCH

Posted: Feb 22nd 2008 9:11PM OMGITSJAD said

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"FALCONE...PUUNNNCCHH!!!"
(Countdown 'til Brawl: 15 Days!! 2 Weeks on Saturday!)

Posted: Feb 23rd 2008 12:06AM hvnlysoldr said

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Miss his golden nipples.. Err I mean...

Captain Falcon was entering the stage from earth's orbit. After swigging his jugs of beers and whole hams he played a 12 string two necked guitar to floss his teeth. Still only half way there and being bored from his girly mags he flexed his muscles. Every man in the universe died and every woman climaxed. His flexing caused a truck and explode towards the plumetting Captain Falcon. Falcon Punching the approaching truck Captain landed on the stage in a giant fireball winning the match automatically.

# Captain Falcon once Falcon Punched someone so hard that his fist broke the speed of light, went back in time, and killed Amelia Earhart while she was flying over the Pacific Ocean.

# Contrary to popular belief, Captain Falcon, not the box jellyfish of northern Australia, is the most venomous creature on earth. Within 3 minutes of being bitten, a human being experiences the following symptoms: fever, blurred vision, showing of your moves, tightness of the jeans, and the feeling of being repeatedly kicked through a car windshield.

# Most people have 23 pairs of chromosomes. Captain Falcon has 72... and they're all on fire.

# When Captain Falcon sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack. Captain Falcon has not had to pay taxes, ever.

# The quickest way to a man's heart is with Captain Falcon's fist.

# Captain Falcon invented Kentucky Fried Chicken's famous secret recipe, with eleven herbs and spices. But nobody ever mentions the twelfth ingredient: Fear.

# Captain Falcon can win a game of Connect Four in only three moves.

Posted: Feb 23rd 2008 12:33AM (Unverified) said

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Chuck sees what you did there, and he isn't happy.
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Posted: Feb 23rd 2008 10:01AM Capitalist Pig said

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Chuck disapproves, but I approve!
And to anyone who says Capt. Falcon sucks, then you FAIL. Honestly, any character besides Jigglypuff pretty much can be deadly if you use them right. And besides, anyone who thought he would get cut for sure was an idiot. I was fearfully speculating his cut-ness in the beginning, but then I realized that they wouldn't do that. FALCON PAUNCH!!!!!!!!
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Posted: Feb 23rd 2008 10:40AM hvnlysoldr said

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It took Gandalf the Grey, Gandalf the White, Monty Python and the Holy Grail's Black Knight, Benito Mussolini, The Blue Meanie, Cowboy Curtis, Jambi the Genie, Robocop, The Terminator, Captain Kirk, Darth Vader, Lo-Pan, Superman, Every Single Power Ranger, Bill S. Preston and Theodore Logan, Spock, The Rock, Doc Ock, and Hulk Hogan to defeat Chuck Norris.

Captain Falcon can take on Godzilla, Batman, Shaquille O'Neal, Aaron Carter, Robin, Abraham Lincoln, Optimus Prime, Scruff McGruff, Jackie Chan, Indiana Jones, Care Bear, Dudley Do-Right, Snidely Whiplash, Samuel L. Jackson, Mario, Sonic the Hedgehog, Santa Claus, DeLorean, Goku, Eric Bauman, Lowtax, Tobias Funke, R2-D2, C3PO, Jawa, Judohobo, Chuck Norris, Gandalf the Grey, Gandalf the White, Monty Python and the Holy Grail's Black Knight, Benito Mussolini, The Blue Meanie, Cowboy Curtis, Jambi the Genie, Robocop, The Terminator, Captain Kirk, Darth Vader, Lo-Pan, Superman, Every Single Power Ranger, Bill S. Preston and Theodore Logan, Spock, The Rock, Doc Ock, Hulk Hogan, Xenomorph, Freddy Krueger, Jason Voorhees, Alien Hominid, Captain Hook, Harry Potter, Han Solo, Pac-Man, Mr. Rogers, Samus, Luigi, Peach, Olimar, R.O.B., Fox, Falco, Wolf, Barrel Roll, Bowser, Ganon, Link, Zelda, Toon Link, Sheik, Mr. Game and Watch, Pikachu, Jigglypuff, Mewtwo, Pichu, Pokemon Trainer, Squirtle, Ivysaur, Charizard, Lucario, Ike, Marth, Roy, Sothe, Lyn, Donkey Kong, Diddy Kong, Dr. Mario, Ice Climbers, Balloon Fighter, Tingle, Kirby, Metaknight, Dedede, Ness, Lucas, Pit, Snake, Raiden, Sonic, Tails, Silver, Knuckles, Wario, Yoshi, Master Hand, Crazy Hand, Giga Bowser, Miyamoto, and Reggie. With one hand tied behind his back.
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Posted: Feb 23rd 2008 12:33AM (Unverified) said

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Show me your boobs!

Posted: Feb 23rd 2008 2:15PM (Unverified) said

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YES!

Posted: Feb 23rd 2008 7:48PM SSUK said

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Now we can hear Kirby's "Falcon Punch" once more.

Posted: Feb 23rd 2008 9:36PM Kadamon said

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The only time I ever lose with Jigglypuff is against someone who plays Fox. For some reason I can beat on Falcon easily...so, the only enemy a good Jiggle player has is Mr. Saturn.

Damn you Mr. Saturn and your shield breaking ways. Damn. You.

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