We did a terrible thing at last week's Game Developer's Conference. Aside from our usual barrage of photographs and "reporting," a select group of attendees had to endure a particularly inane and utterly pointless line of questioning -- just for laughs. This is what happens when you hunt down several adventure game connoisseurs and challenge them to solve a typically obnoxious adventure game puzzle.

The Player
Erik Wolpaw, co-author of the now-defunct Old Man Murray. He's written for games such as Psychonauts and Portal, and once accused the adventure genre of committing suicide.

The Puzzle
You're standing in front of a cave. The goal is to get inside the cave, taking care to foil the ferocious robot bear guarding the entrance first.

The Inventory

• (1) perforated parasol
• (1) rubber chicken with a pulley in the middle
• (1) sealed manila envelope
• (1) miniature macaroni Tim Schafer statue
  

The Solution
"How is the pulley attached to the rubber chicken? See, this is why I hate adventure games. I think you're expecting a joke answer, and I'm actually trying to figure it out. OK, type 'quit.' That's what I would do. Go to the menu and type 'quit.'"

(Catch the rest of our interview with Wolpaw later this week!)