New gamerpics are a teabag full of insipidness

We realize that a lot of crap gets dumped on Xbox Live Marketplace that we don't comment on. We used to notice it more, but mocking it is almost sort of futile now. But when someone sends along a tip to alert us that they've just sullied the Marketplace, we feel compelled to comment on it. So, here it goes. As seen above, Disruptive Media Publishers has just unleashed the "Hardcore Gamer Picture Pack," a name so ironic that Alanis Morissette just beat herself to death with a shoe.

If you pony up the $1.25 for the Hardcore Game Picture Pack, we're officially not friends. We would honestly prefer you to get your Xbox Live Vision camera, and take a picture of your crotch and make it your gamerpic. If you burned a combination orphanage/puppy mill to the ground and dragged a generator to the scene so you could (using the Shroud of Turin as lens filter) take a picture of the flames with your Xbox Live Vision camera and made that your pic, we would be less offended.

OK, we wanted to end on that line, but we had to mention the "Respawn" one. What does that even mean? That you're happy the game continues after you've been killed? Yes! We are too!

Reader Comments (70)

I can use mspaint too! Can I start charging people $1.25? Absolutely terrible.

I personally think those are hot.

Wow, a pack that essentially fuses together all the negative stereotypes about avid online gamers in one set, and does so in a way that is totally without wit

I think most people could've come up with better junk on their own

This is worse than a 3rd grader art class...

I am also going to start yelling "RESPAWN" into my mic whenever I respawn.

Wow joystiq is a bunch of n00bz. Respawn means when you camp another team and just chuck grenades at them.

If you can't figure it out just remember this line...

"I'm in your base.... Raping your spawn"

@Platinum_Skeet

"n00bz"

You're just pathetic.

"Respawn means when you camp another team and just chuck grenades at them."

Alright if respawn means that, then what is it called when you die and then come back to life?

It has a grenade next to respawn meaning when the person respawns they have a grenade waiting for them.

You guys act like you never had team pushed back all the way to their spawn points before...

"It has a grenade next to respawn meaning when the person respawns they have a grenade waiting for them."

I didn't ask you what the picture showed, I asked what the word is called when you die and then come back to life. Your such a "1337" gamer, I know you know the answer, or are you a n00b?

melloncollie

Yup... and your pathetic for agreeing with the rest and not knowing the meaning of the picture....

Stop trying defend your ignorance wrapped post you sound dumb now...

Platinum_Skeet, that would be "spawn-camping".

People like you are "n00bz"

Skeet's 1337 Skeet's 1337 Skeet's 1337 Skeet's 1337
Skeet's 1337 Skeet's 1337 Skeet's 1337 Skeet's 1337
Skeet's 1337 Skeet's 1337 Skeet's 1337 Skeet's 1337
Skeet's 1337 Skeet's 1337 Skeet's 1337 Skeet's 1337
Skeet's 1337 Skeet's 1337 Skeet's 1337 Skeet's 1337
Skeet's 1337 Skeet's 1337 Skeet's 1337 Skeet's 1337
Skeet's 1337

Yeah, what game are we playing here.

"Stop trying defend your ignorance wrapped post you sound dumb now..."

You sounded dumb from your first post. And my spawn point isn't the only thing you've raped.

One thing among many that I don't get about this is that if it's the "hardcore" gamer pack then why is there a "Proud to be a Noon" picture?

noob*

'Cause irony is hi-larious.

$1.25?

http://91.121.71.200/gifs/4694.gif

Thank you Matt B for posting that. Absolutely hilarious.

win.

My word they are terrible.

It means you lob grenades at respawn points. Or just camp them in general. You get the idea.

Wow, looks like this pack was made just for you.

I think it's a spawn kill reference...

I'll stick with my wide assortment of Psychonauts gamerpics. 'I am the milkman' etc. etc.

"Shooting things is fun AND useful!"

I find it ridiculous that there are indeed people who pay for these type of things.

I think the respawn one means you fire your weapons until you run out of ammo, then just drop a grenade at your feet so you can respawn with more ammo.

This is something some gamers, many consider it less skillful than actually using your ammo wisely or picking more up at drop spots or off people you kill.

Wow, those looks horrible. They should just ban anyone who uses them.

I'll just stick with my Red vs. Blue gamer pics :D

The respawn grenade is an awesome technique to piss off your teammates. You just drop a grenade as you spawn, mainly coz you're a numnut.

Er... not that I care much for these logos, but isn't it kind of part of the joke of the whole thing that they look like they were made in paint?

Kinda like how all the lolcat images have the same goofy outlined Impact font?

Oh you people are nuts. Those are the coolest gamer pics evar! I am so gonna stop using my sweet Axe Effect one for those..or maybe I will use the Mountain Dew one. Naw, there was that one of...oh forget it - these are cool you lame bastards!!!!!

Is that what it is? Looks like a mammoth.....

I'll stick with my Pac-Man radio tower pic.

HARDCORE PORN GAMERPICS CONFIRMED!

I saw these posted on another site and wanted to say what you said here, but I was too nice. I'm glad to see that you're not and we can officially all agree that these suck ass.

I am teh hardcore

Nice!

I think they're funny. Have some humor people.

I've got humour and its telling me these aren't funny. At best their funny for smack heads who giggle at any little fart.

My humour must be more sophisticated.

Oh, we've got humor, they don't.

I think the bigger joke is they dont exist. I looked and they are not even listed under disruptivepublishers on Xbox Live. So they were probably really done in paint and put on the internet as a joke.

They're listed on the Disruptive Media Publishers website.

I'll stick with my N7 gamerpic. More games should give you gamerpics for getting acheivements.

Great write-up Justin.
You're making these last few hours of work bearable... well, at least more laughs per hour left... or something like that.

"If you pony up the $1.25 for the Hardcore Game Picture Pack, we're officially not friends. We would honestly prefer you to get your Xbox Live Vision camera, and take a picture of your crotch and make it your gamerpic."

Justin, this is funny as hell. I haven't literally laughed out loud at something written on the Internet for a long time.

Hardcore?
These are nothing but FPS references.

Nothing hardcore about it. >_>

I would rather be molested by a koala.

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New gamerpics are a teabag full of insipidness

Reader Comments (70)

Posted: Mar 7th 2008 4:34PM Dr said

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