New gamerpics are a teabag full of insipidness

by Justin McElroy { Mar 7th 2008 at 4:30PM }

We realize that a lot of crap gets dumped on Xbox Live Marketplace that we don't comment on. We used to notice it more, but mocking it is almost sort of futile now. But when someone sends along a tip to alert us that they've just sullied the Marketplace, we feel compelled to comment on it. So, here it goes. As seen above, Disruptive Media Publishers has just unleashed the "Hardcore Gamer Picture Pack," a name so ironic that Alanis Morissette just beat herself to death with a shoe.

If you pony up the $1.25 for the Hardcore Game Picture Pack, we're officially not friends. We would honestly prefer you to get your Xbox Live Vision camera, and take a picture of your crotch and make it your gamerpic. If you burned a combination orphanage/puppy mill to the ground and dragged a generator to the scene so you could (using the Shroud of Turin as lens filter) take a picture of the flames with your Xbox Live Vision camera and made that your pic, we would be less offended.

OK, we wanted to end on that line, but we had to mention the "Respawn" one. What does that even mean? That you're happy the game continues after you've been killed? Yes! We are too!

Tags: gamerpics, marketplace, xbox-live, xboxlive

Reader Comments (Page 1 of 2)

Dr. @ Mar 7th 2008 4:34PM

I can use mspaint too! Can I start charging people $1.25? Absolutely terrible.

Tiptup300 @ Mar 7th 2008 8:40PM

I personally think those are hot.

Mr Khan @ Mar 7th 2008 4:36PM

Wow, a pack that essentially fuses together all the negative stereotypes about avid online gamers in one set, and does so in a way that is totally without wit

I think most people could've come up with better junk on their own

Curtis the Claw Game Master V2 @ Mar 7th 2008 4:37PM

This is worse than a 3rd grader art class...

Curtis the Claw Game Master V2 @ Mar 7th 2008 4:46PM

I am also going to start yelling "RESPAWN" into my mic whenever I respawn.

Platinum_Skeet @ Mar 7th 2008 5:27PM

Wow joystiq is a bunch of n00bz. Respawn means when you camp another team and just chuck grenades at them.

If you can't figure it out just remember this line...

"I'm in your base.... Raping your spawn"

melloncollie @ Mar 7th 2008 5:32PM

@Platinum_Skeet

"n00bz"

You're just pathetic.

Curtis the Claw Game Master V2 @ Mar 7th 2008 5:36PM

"Respawn means when you camp another team and just chuck grenades at them."

Alright if respawn means that, then what is it called when you die and then come back to life?

Platinum_Skeet @ Mar 7th 2008 5:48PM

It has a grenade next to respawn meaning when the person respawns they have a grenade waiting for them.

You guys act like you never had team pushed back all the way to their spawn points before...

Curtis the Claw Game Master V2 @ Mar 7th 2008 5:51PM

"It has a grenade next to respawn meaning when the person respawns they have a grenade waiting for them."

I didn't ask you what the picture showed, I asked what the word is called when you die and then come back to life. Your such a "1337" gamer, I know you know the answer, or are you a n00b?

Platinum_Skeet @ Mar 7th 2008 5:52PM

melloncollie

Yup... and your pathetic for agreeing with the rest and not knowing the meaning of the picture....

Platinum_Skeet @ Mar 8th 2008 1:54PM

Stop trying defend your ignorance wrapped post you sound dumb now...

Nick the Hero of Canton @ Mar 7th 2008 6:11PM

Platinum_Skeet, that would be "spawn-camping".

People like you are "n00bz"

Curtis the Claw Game Master V2 @ Mar 7th 2008 6:11PM

Skeet's 1337 Skeet's 1337 Skeet's 1337 Skeet's 1337
Skeet's 1337 Skeet's 1337 Skeet's 1337 Skeet's 1337
Skeet's 1337 Skeet's 1337 Skeet's 1337 Skeet's 1337
Skeet's 1337 Skeet's 1337 Skeet's 1337 Skeet's 1337
Skeet's 1337 Skeet's 1337 Skeet's 1337 Skeet's 1337
Skeet's 1337 Skeet's 1337 Skeet's 1337 Skeet's 1337
Skeet's 1337

DangerMouse @ Mar 7th 2008 6:16PM

Yeah, what game are we playing here.

Curtis the Claw Game Master V2 @ Mar 8th 2008 3:05PM

"Stop trying defend your ignorance wrapped post you sound dumb now..."

You sounded dumb from your first post. And my spawn point isn't the only thing you've raped.

Curtis the Claw Game Master V2 @ Mar 7th 2008 4:38PM

One thing among many that I don't get about this is that if it's the "hardcore" gamer pack then why is there a "Proud to be a Noon" picture?

Curtis the Claw Game Master V2 @ Mar 7th 2008 4:39PM

noob*

Ranus Studios @ Mar 7th 2008 4:46PM

'Cause irony is hi-larious.

Matt B @ Mar 7th 2008 4:40PM

$1.25?

http://91.121.71.200/gifs/4694.gif

ozzzy @ Mar 7th 2008 4:51PM

Thank you Matt B for posting that. Absolutely hilarious.

DangerMouse @ Mar 7th 2008 6:09PM

win.

Mills and Boom @ Mar 7th 2008 4:41PM

My word they are terrible.

Ranus Studios @ Mar 7th 2008 4:45PM

It means you lob grenades at respawn points. Or just camp them in general. You get the idea.

Curtis the Claw Game Master V2 @ Mar 7th 2008 4:47PM

Wow, looks like this pack was made just for you.

danny. @ Mar 7th 2008 4:48PM

I think it's a spawn kill reference...

I'll stick with my wide assortment of Psychonauts gamerpics. 'I am the milkman' etc. etc.

Geist @ Mar 8th 2008 12:24AM

"Shooting things is fun AND useful!"

Envoy @ Mar 7th 2008 4:49PM

I find it ridiculous that there are indeed people who pay for these type of things.

why not the LS2LS7? @ Mar 7th 2008 4:50PM

I think the respawn one means you fire your weapons until you run out of ammo, then just drop a grenade at your feet so you can respawn with more ammo.

This is something some gamers, many consider it less skillful than actually using your ammo wisely or picking more up at drop spots or off people you kill.

CB @ Mar 7th 2008 4:51PM

Wow, those looks horrible. They should just ban anyone who uses them.

Dauragon88 @ Mar 7th 2008 4:51PM

I'll just stick with my Red vs. Blue gamer pics :D

JagerQ @ Mar 7th 2008 4:57PM

The respawn grenade is an awesome technique to piss off your teammates. You just drop a grenade as you spawn, mainly coz you're a numnut.

Marty @ Mar 7th 2008 4:57PM

Er... not that I care much for these logos, but isn't it kind of part of the joke of the whole thing that they look like they were made in paint?

Kinda like how all the lolcat images have the same goofy outlined Impact font?

NATO_Duke @ Mar 7th 2008 4:59PM

Oh you people are nuts. Those are the coolest gamer pics evar! I am so gonna stop using my sweet Axe Effect one for those..or maybe I will use the Mountain Dew one. Naw, there was that one of...oh forget it - these are cool you lame bastards!!!!!

RobLink (McElroy Defence Force) @ Mar 8th 2008 4:30PM

Is that what it is? Looks like a mammoth.....

Nick the Hero of Canton @ Mar 7th 2008 5:10PM

I'll stick with my Pac-Man radio tower pic.

343 Guilty Fart @ Mar 7th 2008 5:16PM

HARDCORE PORN GAMERPICS CONFIRMED!

skokefoe @ Mar 7th 2008 5:20PM

I saw these posted on another site and wanted to say what you said here, but I was too nice. I'm glad to see that you're not and we can officially all agree that these suck ass.

Player1 @ Mar 7th 2008 5:34PM

I am teh hardcore

NATO_Duke @ Mar 7th 2008 5:36PM

Nice!

Ford Tang @ Mar 7th 2008 5:41PM

I think they're funny. Have some humor people.

Mills and Boom @ Mar 7th 2008 6:19PM

I've got humour and its telling me these aren't funny. At best their funny for smack heads who giggle at any little fart.

My humour must be more sophisticated.

Sam406 @ Mar 7th 2008 6:33PM

Oh, we've got humor, they don't.

Bucfann @ Mar 7th 2008 5:43PM

I think the bigger joke is they dont exist. I looked and they are not even listed under disruptivepublishers on Xbox Live. So they were probably really done in paint and put on the internet as a joke.

Markusdragon @ Mar 7th 2008 5:58PM

They're listed on the Disruptive Media Publishers website.

Arteen @ Mar 7th 2008 5:49PM

I'll stick with my N7 gamerpic. More games should give you gamerpics for getting acheivements.

Todd @ Mar 7th 2008 5:58PM

Great write-up Justin.
You're making these last few hours of work bearable... well, at least more laughs per hour left... or something like that.

GrossGreg @ Mar 8th 2008 1:00PM

"If you pony up the $1.25 for the Hardcore Game Picture Pack, we're officially not friends. We would honestly prefer you to get your Xbox Live Vision camera, and take a picture of your crotch and make it your gamerpic."

Justin, this is funny as hell. I haven't literally laughed out loud at something written on the Internet for a long time.