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Reader Comments (40)

Posted: Mar 11th 2008 2:52PM (Unverified) said

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That was great!!
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Posted: Mar 11th 2008 1:42PM Pureshooter said

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Absolutely hilarious.
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Posted: Mar 11th 2008 2:18PM (Unverified) said

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+1 for Justin !

That was full of win. lol.
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Posted: Mar 11th 2008 1:42PM whymog said

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4. Itchy. Tasty.
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Posted: Mar 11th 2008 1:48PM baby sea tuna said

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10 million [+] for that truly masterful reference.
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Posted: Mar 11th 2008 5:11PM The Wicker Man said

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youre the big winner of the internets today! + + +
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Posted: Mar 11th 2008 1:44PM (Unverified) said

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That was freaking hilarious. You rock Justin
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Posted: Mar 11th 2008 1:44PM (Unverified) said

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I loved Dark messiah on the PC. Great sword play and the 'Rope Bow' was cool. Didn't really care to much about the plasmids...I mean magic.

I couldn't imagine playing it on a controller though.
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Posted: Mar 11th 2008 1:46PM Duke said

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The controls were fine on the 360 - everything else was messed up. Besides, the game is far too linear feeling.
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Posted: Mar 11th 2008 1:49PM (Unverified) said

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I loved the demo on PC, although the sneaking sucks compared to Oblivion. Still awesome though, and it's sad that this game is getting so much of a bad reputation from WHAT SEEMS LIKE the console version.
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Posted: Mar 11th 2008 1:45PM Duke said

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Very funny.

The game was a rent and full of disappointment. I can't see wasting more money on DLC.
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Posted: Mar 11th 2008 2:08PM KindaGamey said

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Well done. Thank god for bad games because if they were all good I wouldn't have time for drinking and getting booty.
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Posted: Mar 11th 2008 3:54PM Shagittarius said

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"...I wouldn't have time for drinking and getting booty."

Your just making things up now.
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Posted: Mar 11th 2008 2:00PM (Unverified) said

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This is in pretty poor taste.
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Posted: Mar 11th 2008 2:02PM (Unverified) said

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what's not in poor taste about a bunch of talentless would-be-writers-but-failed-at-that-and-blog-instead "editors" mocking people far more talented than them realizing their own creative visions, whether or not the masses enjoy them?
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Posted: Mar 11th 2008 2:14PM (Unverified) said

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Jdeuel, does your shift manager mind you using the Arby's computers for non-roast beef related activities?
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Posted: Mar 11th 2008 2:17PM Jerk Face said

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Why do you two come here again?
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Posted: Mar 11th 2008 2:18PM Jerk Face said

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I will act on your behalf this time, Justin, and award you the Justin McElroy Memorial Burn of the Day Award!

Great work!
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Posted: Mar 11th 2008 2:19PM Neon Jebus said

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jdeuel,

As a male that works as an Administrative Assistant and joked with / made fun of many, many times over about how much of my work goes on 'below the desk' and in need of knee pads let me be the first to say that you need to lighten up.
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Posted: Mar 11th 2008 2:21PM Jerk Face said

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Male Admin Assistants FTW!

What other job could we f*ck off as much as we do?
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Posted: Mar 11th 2008 2:30PM (Unverified) said

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@ Jerk Face..

IT ;)
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Posted: Mar 11th 2008 3:11PM (Unverified) said

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@ Jerk Face:

I come here, because I had some vague notion that Joystiq shared the integrity of EGM. I suppose I was misguided in that. DM:MME isn't the greatest game, but the developers did nothing to deserve this kind of mockery. You're free to vote my post into obscurity, but it won't change the fact that this article is in poor taste.
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Posted: Mar 11th 2008 3:28PM Neon Jebus said

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Jettoki,

I've come to understand the difference between sites like Joystiq vs. website versions of print publications.

Sites like Joystiq often cover the news that one can read at another website. This recap of the news is accompanied with the bloggers views on said news event.

The point I'm trying to make is that if Justin was doing an interview with the developers and included this journal, it would be in poor taste. However if Justin offers up a satirical journal to flesh out a posting on Major Nelson's website which shows new content for DM:MME is available; well that is to add something to an otherwise easily forgettable piece of news.
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Posted: Mar 11th 2008 3:32PM (Unverified) said

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You could always... You know... NOT come here...
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Posted: Mar 11th 2008 3:41PM (Unverified) said

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@ Neon Jebus:

I grasp the difference between a blog and a print publication, and I understand the need to flesh out an article that would otherwise contain no more than a news bite. But as a developer, I'm a little angered by the suggestion that I'd be any less passionate about my work just because my game was critically panned. Kudos to the DM:MME team for supporting the game they worked so hard on, in spite of naysayers.

@ Sam406:

Or I could have the guts to call it like I see it. I usually enjoy reading Joystiq. I'm not criticizing anyone for laughing - I just think the joke is in poor taste.
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Posted: Mar 11th 2008 4:17PM Shagittarius said

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Justin that was a smooth cut...I'm almost willing to overlook your love of peggle after that...almost...
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Posted: Mar 11th 2008 4:33PM KaneRobot said

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@jettoki: "I come here, because I had some vague notion that Joystiq shared the integrity of EGM. "

You almost had me - I agree that this is a pretty lame "story." But if you're here because you want something like EGM, you're part of the problem. EGM is a joke. See ya.
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Posted: Mar 11th 2008 5:15PM Cal said

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What, so only 3 people (those two and me) didn't find this in the least bit funny?
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Posted: Mar 11th 2008 2:12PM dabamf said

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I played Dark Messiah on computer; it was actually really fun until the last level, when the game engine stopped working. I'd like to think it was a Vista 64 problem, but why would the game only crash on the last level????
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Posted: Mar 11th 2008 3:08PM Hyams said

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The game was riddled with bugs that made it unplayable for many people. It'd just crash at a certain point - usually at the end of the training level.

I was lucky enough that my laptop was able to play the entire game without crashing. :)
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Posted: Mar 11th 2008 3:43PM dabamf said

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Hyams -- that's cool; I had to watch the damn endings on Youtube. Once I went up the ladder from the sewers to the final level...crashville. I was super into the game at that point too.
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Posted: Mar 11th 2008 2:17PM player66 said

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This post both lightens my heart with it's sheer bleakness and saddens me with it's familiarity. Justin, I say, "Well done, Sir!"
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Posted: Mar 11th 2008 2:20PM Twist said

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I was really looking forward to this game until I played the demo. Seemed to me that it was close to being decent. I think it is one of those games that could have used just a few more months to get it polished up into something halfway respectable.
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Posted: Mar 11th 2008 2:30PM One Stomy Night go watch it said

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funny story!
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Posted: Mar 11th 2008 2:33PM itsburnsie said

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Sadly, this probably isn't too far from the truth.

Hilarious post, kudos.
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Posted: Mar 11th 2008 3:06PM Hyams said

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I loved the game on PC. Sad to hear that the 360 port is so poor.
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Posted: Mar 11th 2008 3:07PM CarlitosColon said

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Wow that was one of the funniest entries I've ever seen on a gaming blog, EVAR! Keep up the good work, Justin. (until you get fired, that is)
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Posted: Mar 11th 2008 4:22PM Deck said

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That was a wonderful craft of literary art Justin! Mad props to you!
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Posted: Mar 11th 2008 6:55PM (Unverified) said

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Honestly, one of the best articles I've read on this page.
Great work.
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Posted: Mar 12th 2008 1:08PM (Unverified) said

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I'm sure I'm alone here, but I actually liked DMMME single player. I finished it already and working through it a second time with the new DLC. Thanks for the Warlock and Paladin classes!!!!!!!!!
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