Zero Punctuation hunts Turok and other FPSs

by Alexander Sliwinski { Mar 19th 2008 at 7:00PM }

Zero Punctuation tries to be helpful this week by beating Turok with blunt vocabulary and attempting to help other first person shooter developers not make the same mistakes. The six minor points Yahtzee lays out ask shooters not to be cheap imitations of Halo, which itself is a cheap knock-off of ... oh, let's avoid finishing that sentence for the sake of being able to turn on the car tomorrow morning with reasonable knowledge it won't explode.

This week's NSFW review of that game with dinosaurs, Turok, is embedded all cozy-like after the break.

Tags: disney, escapist, the-escapist, touchstone, turok, yahtzee, zero-punctuation, zeropunctuation

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Reader Comments (Page 1 of 2)

Victor @ Mar 19th 2008 7:06PM

He should have used Half-Life 2 as an example of how to do an FPS.

Kujel @ Mar 19th 2008 7:20PM

Victor is it? Since halo is the standard model these days he used halo, if HL does become the standard he'll use that I'm sure.

SpekOpz @ Mar 19th 2008 7:20PM

True, FPS controls have gone to shit for the past gen. As far as I know the CoD series has always had the most responsive and comfortable controls in any FPS.

Victor @ Mar 19th 2008 7:30PM

I thought he used Halo as an example of how NOT to do an FPS, since everybody was copying it in a at least one way. Maybe I misunderstood :P

Joeshie @ Mar 19th 2008 9:30PM

Kujel, you might want to actually watch the video. He uses Halo as an example of how NOT to do an FPS.

Shmil @ Mar 19th 2008 7:14PM

was that a picture of tim buckley he was throwing darts at?

Lijik @ Mar 19th 2008 7:24PM

Yes it was =D

Cesaria @ Mar 19th 2008 9:10PM

JEFF Buckley FTW!!! Seriously guys, he's fucking amazing.

Joeshie @ Mar 19th 2008 9:42PM

Tim Buckley is a talentless hack.

B^U

There. I just drew every facial expression that has ever graced the unfunny crap that is Ctrl+Alt+Delete.

Obie @ Mar 19th 2008 7:15PM

His review of HL2 was very positive. I agree "Aliens" has been ripped off more than I could count.
And his ripping on Halo....which I don't mind. ;)

Mr.ESC @ Mar 19th 2008 8:05PM

Many videogames have copy Aliens and Alien for years,I mean take a look at Metroid and Contra.

Obie @ Mar 19th 2008 8:10PM

Metroid? Metroid came out the same year as Aliens, and they have even less in common after that.

return0 @ Mar 19th 2008 9:25PM

Metroid was heavily inspired by Alien. The boss Ridley is a homage to Ridley Scott.

Obie @ Mar 19th 2008 9:30PM

We are talking about "AlienS", the whole Space Marine vs Alien monsters that has been done to death in FPS'.

Heck Halo owns more to that film then even Bungie cares to admit.

Obie @ Mar 19th 2008 9:30PM

We are talking about "AlienS", the whole Space Marine vs Alien monsters that has been done to death in FPS'.

Heck Halo owns more to that film then even Bungie cares to admit.

GoldenS1104 @ Mar 19th 2008 7:15PM

To be honest, I thought the dropping of the health bar was the one good thing that has been coming out of most FPS's lately. I prefer the wait in the corner method. It's better than frantically searching for a health pack for five minutes, only to be shot just as you get one. You can get back in the action quicker with the automatically recharging health.

Ignatius @ Mar 19th 2008 7:21PM

I don't see how recovering from multiple bullet wounds to your stomach and face is somehow possible in a matter of seconds.

Realism doesn't need to take that much of a sidestep, does it? :P

aaron_k7 @ Mar 19th 2008 10:24PM

Well, according to the makers of Rainbow 6 Vegas Part 2, the hardcore "1 shot and you're dead" games are just not profitable. All that to say, realism is going the way of the dodo.

Mr Khan @ Mar 19th 2008 7:29PM

It obviously works in Halo, as they have the whole shield system to work into the suspension of disbelief, but they had the same system in Red Steel, and others, and unless the protagonist is Wolverine, I fail to see how they're doing this

Health Bars aren't exactly realistic either, as a friend put it, you could survive an axe-blow to the head, but then be killed by bumping into a rat or something

copa @ Mar 19th 2008 7:31PM

I agree with GoldenS. I just played through HL2, EP1, and EP2, and the only thing that makes the game monotonous is trying to micromanage your health / shields between firefights.

It takes you out of the games strong points, which is its (otherwise) excellent pacing, and immersive story.

After a while, I just looked up the health code, and used it between fights. Much more fun than scrounging for medkits.

shivr - ssbb- 0817-3501-0190 @ Mar 19th 2008 7:53PM

They just need to take a page from anime and have bandages heal everything. In fact, the longer you're in bandages, the more powerful you'll be afterwards!

Joeshie @ Mar 19th 2008 9:35PM

Health regen just removes from FPS another facet of depth. Instead of having to intelligently manage your health, you can just sit in a corner like an idiot. I suppose this is just a natural evolution of gameplay as games these days are being made more and more for idiots.

I guess for single-player games, regening health isn't horrible, but for god's sake, get it out of multiplayer.

Poisoned Al @ Mar 19th 2008 10:35PM

Oh of course copa, being forced to find a plentiful resource really breaks the flow of just holding down the fire button and walking forward doesn't it? I mean, you would have to avoid being shot! What a pain in the arse that would be huh?

SugarDaddy @ Mar 20th 2008 9:04AM

I like the health regen thing too. With GoW, you're in a giant suit of armor, so you can take a few hits. But too many hits in a row will kill you. Same thing for CoD/R6 cuz you're in a flak jacket. Other games where your guy has no armor or anything like that makes it kind of stupid.

The point is, as long as you can suspend your disbelief to say that the bullets aren't actually entering your video game body but rather pounding on your bullet-proof vest / armor, then it makes the game more fun.

Paviel @ Mar 19th 2008 7:20PM

Portal doesn't have a health meter either, and Yahtzee (and I quote) "can't think of any criticism for it."

Ignatius @ Mar 19th 2008 7:22PM

In the beginning of Half Life 2, you didn't have a health bar until you got the HEV suit, you could still die.

Thing is, it's still there, you just can't see it.

Lijik @ Mar 19th 2008 7:24PM

Portal is more of a first person puzzler than an FPS.

Oscar @ Mar 19th 2008 7:24PM

Portal isn't an fps. It's a puzzle game.

Mr Khan @ Mar 19th 2008 7:32PM

Someone needs to definitively define FPS, i've fought this argument with Metroid Prime series since 2002, and now it surfaces again with Portal

Its in first person perspective and you shoot stuff, first person shooter can entail a number of sub-genres (just like the Strategy genre with its turn-based and its RTSes, but they're all strategy), you can have a Puzzle FPS (Portal) or an Adventure FPS (Metroid Prime) or an Action FPS (Call of Duty)

AoE @ Mar 19th 2008 9:12PM

Mr. Kahn, they are definitively defined, just spell out the acroynm ;) First Person Shooter. It's pretty specific really. I think where the confusion comes in is when people automatically assume that a first person perspective = FPS (my guess has always been that these people simply didn't know what FPS stood for).

In modern games there's of course a lot of "you got your chocolate in my peanut butter" between genres... but then the standard seems to be to categorize a game as belonging to the genre it has the most elements from and/or does the best job of. So while the Metroid prime series does have a healthy does of adventuring and puzzling, it's still very clearly a first person shooter. Portal on the other hand, while yes you're using a "gun" to dispense portals, is very clearly a puzzle game, in the first person perspective. Oblivion likewise is not an FPS, though it does use a first person perspective.

Now as far as Action FPS, etc. go? Those are just subgenres. Kind of like you can have a simulation racing game, or an arcade style racing game. At the end of the day yes, they're both racing games, but the distinction is made for the benefit of enthusiasts of the genre...

Benny @ Mar 19th 2008 7:31PM

This had me in fits of shits.

(Though I do like Halo)

matahtak @ Mar 19th 2008 7:57PM

What's the big deal? StarCraft ripped off Aliens and no one seems to mind. Heck even Space Quest II ripped off Aliens. Man I wonder if Aliens is out on Blu-ray yet? Thank the heavens I held off on buying the DVD Quadrilogy. Anywho, so so this week for ZP.

sic @ Mar 19th 2008 7:58PM

Why has nobody pointed out that Gears Of War isn't a FPS?

Mr.ESC @ Mar 19th 2008 8:07PM

I think he only mention it when he was talking about games copying Alien.

Obie @ Mar 19th 2008 9:38PM

He said ALIENS not Alien....seriously.

Mr.ESC @ Mar 20th 2008 3:02AM

You know what I meant.Freaking grammar nazi I will remember this.

Adam Zey @ Mar 20th 2008 2:55PM

Grammar nazi? Alien and Aliens are two very different movies. That's like confusing The Matrix and The Matrix Reloaded, except neither of the two Alien movies sucked ;)

Dragod @ Mar 19th 2008 8:00PM

So... this guy thinks he can call every FPS shit because he can't aim? Or learn to change his sensitivity? I can't tell you how much I dislike this guy.

Mr.ESC @ Mar 19th 2008 8:18PM

Well it seems someone here have never played a PC FPS.

First you can change the sensibility of the controller all you want still it won't be as good as a mouse mostly because most of the time you are controlling a crosshair in quadrants using a round analog stick .I have to move with the crosshair when I’m using a sniper rifle if I want to hit something.

Pointing and clicking is better than playing with the analog stick for 1.5 seconds until you have it in place. Also that the configuration of the sensibility can make you miss some targets, if is too high you can miss targets that are slightly moving, if its too hard it misses fast targets and if you left it in a middle ground it won’t hit anything.

Now he is talking about bad FPS, he meant that the Analog stick was way to sensitive and instead of just moving slightly to the left it moved all the way to the left and that a problem that is constant in Console FPS.

Console FPS normally have an advantage like Auto-Aim or something but that is incredibly unfair online I mean the first Socom in the PSP was criticized for letting people use the Auto aim online, it does less damage but is better than not shooting at all.

BIGGEN @ Mar 19th 2008 10:21PM

you used the word sensibility twice when referring to controller settings. i don't think that word means what you think it means.

Mabui @ Mar 19th 2008 8:02PM

I sort of like the fact there are games where you regenerate, and there are games where you go hunting down health packs, I figure they just need to add games where you do something entirely different, like, find a quiet corner, and self medicate as best you can or something.

Mr.ESC @ Mar 19th 2008 8:26PM

The truth is I wonder why they left the idea of the med kit behind, most of us get used to that and it makes more sense than having a magical armor that regenerates you. Yes I'm aware that the med kit was pretty damn unrealistic especially because any human would be out of action with 2 shoots, so wandering around looking for med kits with 1 point of health after receiving 3 sniper shoots to the forehead was ridiculous but at least was something.

Also that online the medkit system was better at least in CTF if you didn't kill them they would have to retreat because they would be too hurt to continue.

I like the regeneration suit but I don't think is for every game also that it makes the game slightly more easy except in Hard difficulties like COD4.Yeah have your stinky regeneration suit 3 shoots in veteran and you are toast.

MosquitoControl @ Mar 19th 2008 8:28PM

Funny, I referenced Chasm a few days ago on another site.

Big week for Chasm!

tyg @ Mar 19th 2008 8:30PM

anyone else getting a bit tired of the zero punctuation guy? joke is wearing a bit thin now, its all just a bit too smug for me..

DP @ Mar 19th 2008 9:05PM

No, you're not the only one.

Poisoned Al @ Mar 19th 2008 10:39PM

But you're still outnumbered.

Dragod @ Mar 20th 2008 12:05AM

I'm with you 100%... His "Haha, he just made a weird reference to jacking off and pancakes!" type of humor is just getting annoying. I've played many of these games he's reviewed, and the crap he says is exaggerated and nothing but his own biased opinions. Halo 3 is much better than a "C-", and without Halo, console shooters would still be stuck with the strangest button configurations and crappy production values. Games don't necessarily follow Halo. They look to it as more of a "How can I do this right?" sort of game... Halo 3 perfected solid gameplay and multiplayer, and no one wants to give Halo 3 credit for what it's done. Everyone wants to say "It's not as good as [Game X]", yet without Halo or the knowledge that Halo 3 was just around the corner, none of the console shooters (Including CoD4) would be what they are today.

Kael @ Mar 20th 2008 1:54AM

No one should be watching Zero Punctuation to get real advice. Agree with Yahtzee or not, he's like Simon Cowell, he never has anything positive to say, but says it while being funny. That's what he provides, and that's what we watch him for. I say keep it up; it's still good.

bnpederson @ Mar 20th 2008 8:10AM

My general maxim is thus: you can't bitch too much about something that's free. If you don't like it you can simply stop watching; it's easy, just don't click the link when you see the clearly labeled "Zero Punctuation" posts.

Try it next time. We'll all be thankful, I assure you.

Alex @ Mar 19th 2008 8:35PM

I like how he kind of took back that the games are all shitty now, because the games have always been shitty, it's nothing new, people just think every game should be perfect now because NOTHING is original anymore and nothing will ever be original again!

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