Joystiq

Call it a hunch, but we're not convinced that UK television presenter, Anne Diamond, is an ideal choice to "review" games which she says make her "hair stand on end." Though she brushes off several titles which are "so mindless it would be hard to see them as a destructive influence," the ones with "gratuitous use of violence and bloodthirsty imagery" really draw her ire. Honestly, we'd be bitter too if we had copies of Dead Rising LODGED IN OUR SHOULDERS.

In a response to Thursday's publication of a Dr. Tanya Byron-led review of video game violence, the UK's Daily Mail has delivered a one-two punch of sensationalist misinterpretation ("allowing children to play on computers unsupervised is as dangerous as letting them play outside on their own") and misguided scaremongering, offering the task of analyzing and rating already-rated violent video games to Diamond. Her "chilling" verdicts are all neatly assembled below a snap of kids playing the infinitely sinister Mario Kart 64.

After glossing over Dead or Alive 4 (she wasn't keen on playing as "a martial artist in the fantasy Ninja-style mode"), she becomes truly horrified by a game that "wallows in violence for violence's sake." This dubious honor goes to Resident Evil 4 which, in case you forgot, is about "a cataclysmic chemical attack" spawning legions of zombies which "don't stop until you shoot them in the face or slash their arms off."

"This game shouldn't be allowed to be sold, even adults," says a Diamond in the rush to pass judgment. After being "stabbed to death with pitchforks amid fountains of [her] own blood," she calls it quits and declares, "This kind of violence can only be bad for you." Well, that's what the healing herbs are for, Anne.

[Thanks, Duncan]