The conflict has grown so large that it has spilled out onto the site proper, where we hope you, fine reader, can help us resolve it. We've put up a poll (placed past the break to keep the front page tidy and so those who hate polls and having their voices heard won't be bothered with it), so cast your vote and be heard. Help us stop before we sacrifice Chris to our god, Sakaguchi-san.
And, in honor of the great Sakaguchi-san, we have constructed a haiku:
Beautiful 'stache,
It dominates face, mind, life,
More than a crumb trap
