Wiiitis captured, explained by MRI

by Justin McElroy { Apr 3rd 2008 at 9:45AM }

As gamers, there aren't that many times that we can try to cop a macho attitude and tell a cohort to tough it out. Maybe at a chilly overnight console launch and (in some extreme cases) after a DDR tournament. But chief on that list is injuries sustained from Wiimotes. ... Oh, not you, sweetheart, we totally believe you. We're talking about ... Wiiitis.

Now, much to our chagrin, it seems the affliction has actually been documented by MRI in the May issue of the journal Skeletal Radiology. Apparently, the problem is "awkward deceleration forces," which sounds plausible enough to us, considering our entire medical knowledge comes from Trauma Center.

And now, Joystiq's Putting It All In Perspective Theater:

Ethiopian: Excuse me America, could you please spare more of your medical technology to help our country?
America: Gee, I'd love to Afeworki, but we've got some serious health problems over here we have to deal with first.
Ethiopian: What do you mean? We're dying!
America: Well, I don't expect your primitive brain to understand, but sometimes we play video games so hard that it requires immediate medical attention.
Ethiopian: [Dies.]

Tags: wiiitis, wiinjury

Reader Comments (Page 1 of 1)

Crono (NDF - Knight of the Old School) @ Apr 3rd 2008 9:53AM

To quote people in oblivion who hate jokes:

"Not funny! Not even a little bit!"

Dick @ Apr 3rd 2008 12:04PM

Lighten up, all of you.

Geesh.

Kye - NDF Sniper @ Apr 3rd 2008 9:58AM

_ _

O

*shocked*

Murmillo @ Apr 3rd 2008 10:01AM

So for instance, if I'm out running and injure my ankle, I shouldn't see a doctor because someone in Africa is sick and dying? If people acted like that, life would be worse everywhere.

The engine of productivity that creates the wealth that allows us these excesses also benefits the impoverished people of the world, both directly in the form of resources spent on charity and indirectly in the form of technological advances that they can also use.

An interesting fact about Africa is that the current standard of living there is as bad as it is as a result of medical technology. The things that used to easily kill people, such as common diseases or undernourishment, are now survivable thanks to Western medicine. Instead of dying, these people go on living, but with an unprecedentedly bad quality of life. Still, as long as they are alive, there's the potential to escape poverty and its accompanying miseries.

Farseer (GDI) @ Apr 3rd 2008 10:52AM

I think my eyes glazed over at "The engine of productivity that creates the wealth that allows us..."

zzz....

;)

Yourself @ Apr 3rd 2008 12:12PM

Without taking a side in the "how to distribute wealth for medical research and technology around the globe" debate, 2 things:

1. I lol'd at the post
2. I think regardless of where we each think the money SHOULD go, we can agree at least that researching trivial and possibly fictional diseases is not a wise expenditure. Money spent for research doesn't come from the same place as money spent for treatment, anyway.

Zoot Suit Jedi @ Apr 3rd 2008 10:07AM

Wow McElroy. You Sir have officially outdone yourself today. I hope you intend to pay the drycleaning bill for my now soiled pants. I would like to see more "Putting It All In Perspective Theater." Might I also suggest spelling theatre with the "R-E" at the end to convey the sophistication of the dramatization.

FOXHOUND @ Apr 3rd 2008 10:09AM

*gots da' itis; licks barbeque sauce soaked fingertips*
...ah cha cha cha, delicious. :d

As for the sarcastic latter part of the article... no kommento.

Cephas @ Apr 3rd 2008 10:16AM

You're somehow implying that people explaining Wiiitis is depriving much needed medical attention from dying Ethiopians? Excuse me, but that just doesn't make sense.

Anni (Smash FC: 0946-1930-4929) @ Apr 3rd 2008 10:16AM

Anyone who sees this comment section becoming unnecessarily hostile, raise your hand!

(I laughed, McElroy, but, see, the Internet is... well, you'll see.)

Justin McElroy @ Apr 3rd 2008 10:21AM

Anni, if you laughed then it was all worth it. Just remember that, as the internet rips my corpse limb from limb.

...It was all for you ...

Anni (Smash FC: 0946-1930-4929) @ Apr 3rd 2008 10:25AM

T_T You were always there for me. Give me one last fist pound, man. For... for old time's sake.

Murmillo @ Apr 3rd 2008 10:28AM

I like Joystiq, but I don't read it for Geopolitics Comedy Hour. Even if the political humor were better, it's not something I want to see here. If we give the writers feedback about what we do and don't like, they can use that information to make the site better.

ViagraFiend @ Apr 3rd 2008 10:36AM

I personally do come to joystiq for my geopolitics comedy hour. Well done McElroy!

Farseer (GDI) @ Apr 3rd 2008 10:49AM

Consider my hand raised.

Draco @ Apr 3rd 2008 11:45AM

I would raise my hand, but its damn sore with the wiiitis.

Lars @ Apr 3rd 2008 1:07PM

I think the problem is that we expect that type of thing from forum posters, but not from the bloggers.

Justin was probably just struck by the initial shock of discovering that we have actually paid Doctors to come up with a condition that covers Wii injuries.

But if you're shocked by that Justin, then don't delve any deeper into other ridiculous ways people waste their time in first-world countries.

samfish @ Apr 3rd 2008 1:12PM

"Just remember that, as the internet rips my corpse limb from limb."

I GET THE THIGH!

*plays Carmina Burana*

Crono (NDF - Knight of the Old School) @ Apr 3rd 2008 1:59PM

"Justin was probably just struck by the initial shock of discovering that we have actually paid Doctors to come up with a condition that covers Wii injuries."

It shouldn't come as too much of a surprise.

After all, we have a condition called "Tennis Elbow".

mr nimblewick @ Apr 3rd 2008 10:20AM

So... are you saying ethiopians need more video games?

Bucket @ Apr 3rd 2008 10:21AM

INB4 class action lawsuit.

jason @ Apr 3rd 2008 10:22AM

Standing Ovation for the Theatre performance.

Nigeria: Cody ChesnuTT Defense Force @ Apr 3rd 2008 10:38AM

I laughed.

Justin, more comedy, please.

Shagittarius @ Apr 3rd 2008 10:58AM

Rock band drumming is not doing good things to my wrists I can tell you that...I just ordered some rubber cored sticks in hopes of minimizing vibration and avoiding permanent injury.

Oh and I bought a real set of drums too.

Crono (NDF - Knight of the Old School) @ Apr 3rd 2008 11:12AM

Shagi,

You're either gripping the stick too tightly, or you're pivoting from the elbow instead of the wrist.

The main fulcrum is your wrist. You should grip the stick between your first finger and thumb, and then wrap the rest of your fingers around the stick for control purposes only. You should have about an inch worth of stick hanging out past your pinky finger.

/is a drummer

Dick @ Apr 3rd 2008 12:08PM

Actually
I is Drummer too

I was always taught the main fulcrum is your hand, be it in using the fingers for touch/feel type moves, or wrist to get some more pop or speed.

If you hold the stick with your Finger and thumb in a standard grip, you can use the other three fingers to produce magically fast sticks. Try it out.

(And play on a pillow to increase speed and strength)