One million signatures to end Uwe Boll's directing career
by Griffin McElroy 
{ Apr 6th 2008 at 9:30PM }
You'll never be able to get back those eight-and-a-half bucks you blew on your ticket for Uwe Boll's "Alone In The Dark", but those seeking revenge against the infamous German filmmaker will be pleased to know that a recent interview with FEARnet revealed a giant glowing weak point in his floundering directorial career -- amidst Nazi humor and PETA endorsements, Boll commented on a petition, currently at around 18,000 signatures, for him to forever put an end to his game franchise-defiling ways. It'll take more than that to derail his train of box office catastrophes, he claimed -- though one million signatures should do the trick.
We doubt one million people have even been exposed to Boll's unique brand of sensory torment -- but still, this remains your best chance to fulfill any vendettas you may hold against the pugnacious producer. With enough door-to-door campaigning and MySpace chain letters, this lofty goal may be attainable. If not, we can always hold out hope for the merciful release of bankruptcy.
Reader Comments (Page 1 of 3)
The Artist formally known as Jesus @ Apr 6th 2008 9:40PM
SIGNED!!!
Slayer @ Apr 6th 2008 9:41PM
AWESOME!!!
ThornedVenom (Harley Quinn Defense Force) @ Apr 6th 2008 10:34PM
If Jesus approves, I approve!
Platinum_Skeet @ Apr 7th 2008 1:52AM
Lets try to triple it and get 3 million....
Anyways Joystiq you guys should post this at least once or twice a week until there's enough.
Dash @ Apr 7th 2008 5:01PM
Be careful, Boll might call you and the million others for a boxing match...
Liquid Ocelot (call me Liquid) @ Apr 6th 2008 9:40PM
Correction: over 20,000 signatures
Korova @ Apr 7th 2008 7:38AM
Update: 35685 signatures.
NATO_Duke @ Apr 7th 2008 10:24AM
Yeah a lot of them are not signatures as they are gamer names and comments. "I hate Uwe" or "Psycho T" are not names as a petition would need. You could make fake names all day long for a petition if that was the case.
So what we have are a lot of idiots trying to get rid of an idiot. Doesn't matter much anyway, these online petitions are a joke.
Liquid Ocelot (call me Liquid) @ Apr 7th 2008 9:33PM
I actually remember, and i could be wrong on the game, Silent Hills Origin was it? They made a petition for the series to make a debut on the PSP, and it came true.
gillburgasd @ Apr 6th 2008 9:43PM
i dont think this will get 1 million but even 500,000 will make people think
Howl- SRF @ Apr 6th 2008 9:42PM
I feel kind of bad for the guy.
Howl- SRF @ Apr 6th 2008 9:43PM
*watches Uwe Bowl movie*
Nevermind.
Rollins @ Apr 6th 2008 11:15PM
You watched that movie damned quick.
embassy @ Apr 7th 2008 12:47AM
I'm sure that was the longest minute of his life.
EMOruffino @ Apr 7th 2008 12:45PM
it took me 2 minutes, and now im blind..... great... just great...
Frojo @ Apr 6th 2008 9:44PM
Signed! I doubt he'd really stop but even he chance he might is worth the effort
Dr. @ Apr 6th 2008 9:45PM
Come on, The Internet, don't fail me now!
Delgado @ Apr 6th 2008 11:56PM
If we really don't want the internet to fail us, we need to get this on Digg.
If any of you guys use it, Digg this article (its not my own, I'm not fishing for a front page story).
http://digg.com/movies/Sign_this_petition_to_end_Uwe_Boll_s_career
saigar @ Apr 7th 2008 3:19AM
Internet? Fail? No way.
oh wait...
mistian @ Apr 6th 2008 9:47PM
i justed watched in the name of the king, it might be his worst yet, i dont know why i keep watching them
Obie @ Apr 6th 2008 9:52PM
Signed! Don't let the door hit ya on the way out!
John Z @ Apr 6th 2008 9:55PM
"Your movies are like being sodomized by a well-endowed rhino, only less pleasant." BEST INTERNET PETITION PUT-DOWN EVER.
Penguin Warlord @ Apr 6th 2008 9:56PM
Signed
Tiptup300 @ Apr 6th 2008 9:56PM
I thought postal looked pretty funny from the trailer.
jman @ Apr 6th 2008 11:10PM
wow...your the type of person that helps him stay in the movie making business....you should be ashamed
Tiptup300 @ Apr 6th 2008 11:52PM
Hey, I've seen parts of his bloodrayne movie and it was god aweful. Like REEEAAALLLY bad. Ok, it was vomit inducing. You get a hangover from finishing his movies, but the trailer for postal, it was pretty darn funny.
jman @ Apr 6th 2008 11:57PM
well...as long as you admit that...then i guess it will slide...
Schmobu @ Apr 7th 2008 5:05PM
no
Tiptup300 @ Apr 7th 2008 8:22PM
Postal wasn't a serious game, so the movie seemed to fit that theme. I do highly reject to him being allowed to direct games with "real" storylines that are trying to be at least a little bit serious. He just destroys the belief that games with great stories could be made into great movies. I'd be totally happy with him just working on comedy's based on humorous games, but dramas/horror/adventures, just NO.
Roto13 @ Apr 6th 2008 10:00PM
*ubersigns*
He won't actually do it, but whatever.
Hyams @ Apr 6th 2008 10:09PM
I've never actually watched a Uwe Boll movie before. What's so bad about them?
Geist @ Apr 7th 2008 12:26AM
You won't understand until you watch one of his movies. They're just...oh god they're awful. Find a copy of one and watch it, preferably with a bunch of people so you can heckle it. They're just. So. Bad.
Ironhammer @ Apr 7th 2008 1:12AM
Bloodrayne. I could spend an hour trying to describe the atrocity of this film, or you could simply experience it for yourself... but let me warn you that what has been seen cannot be unseen.
Crono (NDF - Knight of the Old School) @ Apr 7th 2008 11:16AM
Go watch a made for Sci-fi movie. Then put recognizable names in all the roles. Then make the movie about 10x more outlandish and the plots 5x more dumb. Then your are approaching a bole movie.
FlyByWire @ Apr 6th 2008 10:11PM
superdupersighed
mundox @ Apr 6th 2008 10:15PM
signed...
BPM [SSBB: 5026 4120 1186] @ Apr 6th 2008 10:17PM
Signature #20,748. :D
Anticrawl @ Apr 6th 2008 10:18PM
Done and done, sent out 100 messages on Xbox Live and let Absath know of the petition so hopefully he will post it on cad-comics.com
NvM @ Apr 6th 2008 10:19PM
BUT I NEED DUNGEON SIEGE 2
Thief @ Apr 6th 2008 10:24PM
Why would I want to end his career?
That would end the hilarity!
- PS, ppl actually pay to see his movies in the theater? I just download them for laughs!
Jeff @ Apr 6th 2008 10:24PM
Poor guy.
Kujel @ Apr 6th 2008 10:25PM
where do I sign......I wouldn't even dare wipe my ass with the alone in the dark movie script (worried about paper cuts). The game had a really interesting plot but the things he called a movie was an abomination
-Blam!- @ Apr 6th 2008 10:26PM
I can now be called "Petitioner #20802"
I'm proud of you interblag!
Wyvernlink @ Apr 6th 2008 10:26PM
*signs*
psychoticdream @ Apr 6th 2008 10:28PM
all his movies are gonna end up cult classics
NBShermanator @ Apr 6th 2008 10:29PM
Joystiq, you have just unleashed the power of the internet...
GoldenS1104 @ Apr 6th 2008 10:31PM
I really hope it reaches a million. How dare Uwe Boll question the power of the internet.
Mr.ESC @ Apr 6th 2008 10:31PM
He is so bad you have to vote twice.
Someone spread the word.
Korova @ Apr 7th 2008 7:43AM
Vote early and often. For every person in your family and your unborn children (they can have email addresses too).
This is the Joystiq Hall political machine in action.
gillburgasd @ Apr 6th 2008 10:32PM
once ign and kotaku get this story its all over,
unleash the power of the big 3