We feel kind of dirty giving any sort of attention to the cancerous boil on film directing that is Uwe Boll, but when the guy is acting this freaking weird we just can't help ourselves. Boll has followed up his offer to stop directing if an online petition against him reached 1,000,000 signatures with a heavily-accented YouTube video that manages to insult Eli Roth, Michael Bay, George Clooney and practically all of Hollywood as "fucking retards" that don't understand that Boll is "the only genius in the whole fucking business."
While Tinseltown insults are all well and good, what really interested us was Boll's call for a "pro Boll petition" to counteract the anti-Boll forces. Boll said he "expect[s] a million votes, Pro Boll," and he's already well on his way, with a whopping 72 signatures so far on the Pro-Boll petition set up by FilmDrunk.com. That's a far cry from the 137,644 that have signed the anti-Boll petition as of this writing, but maybe it takes "the only genius in the whole fucking business" to understand the vagaries of the math involved.
Watch the video and read a transcript of Boll's rant after the break.
Transcript (taken from FilmDrunk): "So hi here, sir, Uwe Boll, and I have a statement to make about ze internet petition. Zere's a petition out to stop Uwe Boll, and I said if zere are 1 million, on ze petition I stop actually making movies. And I want, zat zere is a petition also out zere like a PRO-BOLL petition and I expect a million votes, Pro Boll. And I hope somebody would set it up, and you all start signing it.
Because look, I am not a fucking retard like Michael Bay or ozza people running around in zat business, or Eli Roth, making the same shitty movies over and over again. If you really look at my movies, you will see my real genius. And if you go on May 23 on Postal, you will see zat I deliver a movie, what NOBODY else deliver in ze last ten years. What is way better zen all zat social critic George Clooney bullshit what you get every fucking weekend. So you have to wake up and you have to see me what I am, I am ze only genius in ze whole fucking business. Goodbye."
Reader Comments (84)
Posted: Apr 9th 2008 4:21PM (Unverified) said
Posted: Apr 9th 2008 4:23PM merf1350 said
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Posted: Apr 9th 2008 5:19PM Knight Marquise said
Hell, the video is full of win! For having Balls of Brass and calling M. Bay & George Clooney for what they are, Dr. Boll receives my vote!!!!
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Posted: Apr 9th 2008 5:26PM Demon G Sides said
Can we please stop trying to make Joystiq into the next 4chan? please? Keep it there, folks.
Reply
Posted: Apr 9th 2008 7:34PM (Unverified) said
"Dr. Boll gave us Kristanna Lokens titties! That man is ace in my book!"
weird people looking to get a star naked...
"I hate you but you should continue to suck to lower the bar so that other movie makers seem better"
people trying to lower the bar for movies
"a man this insane and talentless should always have a place in hollywood"
some just doing it for the kicks
"you suck boll hope you make no more movies they are all awfull"
people confusing the petition (seriously, wtf)
"I'll support you, Uwe, as long as you leave ZELDA alone!! Long Live Boll!"
and people in fear of him touching their beloved game franchise...
...it isn't hard to see why he has over 400 "pro" votes....
Reply
weird people looking to get a star naked...
"I hate you but you should continue to suck to lower the bar so that other movie makers seem better"
people trying to lower the bar for movies
"a man this insane and talentless should always have a place in hollywood"
some just doing it for the kicks
"you suck boll hope you make no more movies they are all awfull"
people confusing the petition (seriously, wtf)
"I'll support you, Uwe, as long as you leave ZELDA alone!! Long Live Boll!"
and people in fear of him touching their beloved game franchise...
...it isn't hard to see why he has over 400 "pro" votes....
Posted: Apr 9th 2008 5:18PM ThornedVenom said
His momma so fat, she counts for.... ya know the song.
Reply
Posted: Apr 9th 2008 7:46PM DomoBraden said
It's almost at 500 now. How the hell? Seriously, 500? What?
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Posted: Apr 9th 2008 4:08PM WillCookForFood said
Wow... It took a while for me to stop laughing after I watched that...
Who would be so soul-deficient as to sign the Pro-Boll petition? There's 72 people I hope I never meet in my life.
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Who would be so soul-deficient as to sign the Pro-Boll petition? There's 72 people I hope I never meet in my life.
Posted: Apr 9th 2008 6:39PM 007craft said
watching his movies may be optional, but hes not directing original works, hes making movies off of game based franchises. When they take one of my favorite franchises and turn it into a game, (like farcry). I want to see a good movie, not a pile of crap. Because uwe boll is around, I now get just that, crap. Sure I can not watch farcry the movie, but because hes doing films, its stopping others from making the farcry movie. This is not fair.
I want this dumbass out of the business. If he switches to directing original works ill be more then happy to leave him be and just not watch his movies, but like I said, hes tieing up the rights to some quality game franchises
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I want this dumbass out of the business. If he switches to directing original works ill be more then happy to leave him be and just not watch his movies, but like I said, hes tieing up the rights to some quality game franchises
Posted: Apr 9th 2008 4:31PM (Unverified) said
He's got a doctorate in literature, actually.
Which begs the question; are German university standards THAT low or has he been trolling us IRL this whole time?
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Which begs the question; are German university standards THAT low or has he been trolling us IRL this whole time?
Posted: Apr 9th 2008 4:10PM benexclaimed said
I'm unable to watch the video at the moment, but it seems fairly obvious from his "the only genius in the whole fucking business" comment that he's being facetious and simply playing up the perception people have of him.
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Posted: Apr 9th 2008 4:10PM (Unverified) said
holy hell....thanks for the laugh joystiq. I already signed the petition.
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Posted: Apr 9th 2008 4:10PM (Unverified) said
FACT: The 72 people who signed are his relatives.
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Posted: Apr 9th 2008 4:11PM (Unverified) said
At first I thought he was being funny but damn I can't believe this guy takes himself that seriously. Well good, we send this video to the forums of all the people he insulted that many more sigs.
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Posted: Apr 9th 2008 4:12PM Spunky Monkey 190906 said
Don't worry people, those signatures are either just him changing his ip, or his family :)
I'll give him a cookie if that figure raises to 79 within the next year. lol
Hurray for crayy movies ^^
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I'll give him a cookie if that figure raises to 79 within the next year. lol
Hurray for crayy movies ^^
Posted: Apr 9th 2008 4:12PM Spunky Monkey 190906 said
*crappy
Uwe should hire me, i'll bring his staus back up, where can I contact him :)
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Uwe should hire me, i'll bring his staus back up, where can I contact him :)
Posted: Apr 9th 2008 4:12PM (Unverified) said
its up to 221 as of 3:12 CDT.
This could get interesting...
Reply
This could get interesting...
Posted: Apr 9th 2008 4:14PM (Unverified) said
also, the Stop Uwe Boll petition gets around 2 signatures every few seconds..
Just keep refreshing the page with the amount shown..
Reply
Just keep refreshing the page with the amount shown..
Posted: Apr 9th 2008 4:27PM Duke said
Postal? That is way old news.
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0486640/
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http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0486640/
Posted: Apr 9th 2008 4:14PM (Unverified) said
The petition is now up to 225 signatures. ...... I am scared right now......
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Posted: Apr 9th 2008 4:14PM (Unverified) said
"143520 Total Signatures" wow it almost jumped up 10k votes already. I highly doubt "222 Total Signatures" make a difference. I'm pretty sure the fact that the petition is getting so many votes must be pissing him off. Want proof? watch the video :P
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Posted: Apr 9th 2008 4:14PM (Unverified) said
He is a sad pand... well, more like a pathetic panda.
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Posted: Apr 9th 2008 5:20PM ThornedVenom said
Good news: pandas are endangered species on the brink of extinction.
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Posted: Apr 9th 2008 4:21PM WiredKnight said
The only thing "genius" about Uwe Boll is his financial scheme that lets him keep producing box office bombs.
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Posted: Apr 9th 2008 4:21PM (Unverified) said
I would also like to add that at this rate it will take less then 1 week to reach 1 million votes. In 1 week his career will end. *cough* doubt it *cough* *hack*
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