One million signatures to keep Uwe Boll directing
by Kyle Orland 
{ Apr 9th 2008 at 4:00PM }
While Tinseltown insults are all well and good, what really interested us was Boll's call for a "pro Boll petition" to counteract the anti-Boll forces. Boll said he "expect[s] a million votes, Pro Boll," and he's already well on his way, with a whopping 72 signatures so far on the Pro-Boll petition set up by FilmDrunk.com. That's a far cry from the 137,644 that have signed the anti-Boll petition as of this writing, but maybe it takes "the only genius in the whole fucking business" to understand the vagaries of the math involved.
Watch the video and read a transcript of Boll's rant after the break.
Transcript (taken from FilmDrunk): "So hi here, sir, Uwe Boll, and I have a statement to make about ze internet petition. Zere's a petition out to stop Uwe Boll, and I said if zere are 1 million, on ze petition I stop actually making movies. And I want, zat zere is a petition also out zere like a PRO-BOLL petition and I expect a million votes, Pro Boll. And I hope somebody would set it up, and you all start signing it.
Because look, I am not a fucking retard like Michael Bay or ozza people running around in zat business, or Eli Roth, making the same shitty movies over and over again. If you really look at my movies, you will see my real genius. And if you go on May 23 on Postal, you will see zat I deliver a movie, what NOBODY else deliver in ze last ten years. What is way better zen all zat social critic George Clooney bullshit what you get every fucking weekend. So you have to wake up and you have to see me what I am, I am ze only genius in ze whole fucking business. Goodbye."
Reader Comments (Page 1 of 2)
peacebyanymeans (AKA: Moorio) @ Apr 9th 2008 4:04PM
*facepalm*
Fernando Rocker @ Apr 9th 2008 4:21PM
For everyone... sign the petition, please.
http://www.petitiononline.com/RRH53888/petition.html
merf1350 @ Apr 9th 2008 4:23PM
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Zertoss @ Apr 9th 2008 4:32PM
There's a 4chan meme I haven't seen in a while.
http://www.facepalm.org
ill trooper @ Apr 9th 2008 5:13PM
Who cares this much? I think he should keep making movies - The world needs 'Bad' to enhance what's 'Good.'
Knight Marquise @ Apr 9th 2008 5:19PM
Hell, the video is full of win! For having Balls of Brass and calling M. Bay & George Clooney for what they are, Dr. Boll receives my vote!!!!
DemonGSides @ Apr 9th 2008 5:26PM
Can we please stop trying to make Joystiq into the next 4chan? please? Keep it there, folks.
AoE @ Apr 9th 2008 6:43PM
@ill trooper, why so serious? It's not about caring about whether he continues to make movies or not... it's about the epicness of an online petition potentially actually doing something for once! Don't you want to be a part of that?
Noshino @ Apr 9th 2008 7:34PM
"Dr. Boll gave us Kristanna Lokens titties! That man is ace in my book!"
weird people looking to get a star naked...
"I hate you but you should continue to suck to lower the bar so that other movie makers seem better"
people trying to lower the bar for movies
"a man this insane and talentless should always have a place in hollywood"
some just doing it for the kicks
"you suck boll hope you make no more movies they are all awfull"
people confusing the petition (seriously, wtf)
"I'll support you, Uwe, as long as you leave ZELDA alone!! Long Live Boll!"
and people in fear of him touching their beloved game franchise...
...it isn't hard to see why he has over 400 "pro" votes....
Zertoss @ Apr 9th 2008 4:06PM
What the... Where the hell did he get 72 signatures?
tamanchama @ Apr 16th 2008 10:45AM
someone needs to smash his ego.
ThornedVenom (Harley Quinn Defense Force) @ Apr 9th 2008 5:18PM
His momma so fat, she counts for.... ya know the song.
DomoBraden @ Apr 9th 2008 7:46PM
It's almost at 500 now. How the hell? Seriously, 500? What?
Jerk Face @ Apr 9th 2008 8:01PM
I am going to be honest - it's about to be 73. Anyone who has the absolute balls to make a statement like that and actually be serious about it is just crazy enough to deserve the chance to continue the madness.
bluestriker @ Apr 10th 2008 1:12AM
It's ok, word on the street is that the guys that signed his petition were just drugged.
rookiejr @ Apr 9th 2008 4:08PM
Wow... It took a while for me to stop laughing after I watched that...
Who would be so soul-deficient as to sign the Pro-Boll petition? There's 72 people I hope I never meet in my life.
kinshadow @ Apr 9th 2008 4:11PM
Those are all his employees.
Fortuntely, his family declined to sign the petition.
Cesaria (SSBB: 3136-6466-5083) @ Apr 9th 2008 5:00PM
I signed it. This guy is a living meme that keeps on giving. You can't help but laugh at his zany antics. You don't HAVE to watch his movies. It's completely optional, in case you didn't know.
Shignami @ Apr 9th 2008 5:40PM
I think it was made as a joke, honestly.
Uwe boll is possibly the best troll to ever exist.
mike @ Apr 9th 2008 6:39PM
watching his movies may be optional, but hes not directing original works, hes making movies off of game based franchises. When they take one of my favorite franchises and turn it into a game, (like farcry). I want to see a good movie, not a pile of crap. Because uwe boll is around, I now get just that, crap. Sure I can not watch farcry the movie, but because hes doing films, its stopping others from making the farcry movie. This is not fair.
I want this dumbass out of the business. If he switches to directing original works ill be more then happy to leave him be and just not watch his movies, but like I said, hes tieing up the rights to some quality game franchises
Cesaria (SSBB: 3136-6466-5083) @ Apr 9th 2008 9:20PM
touche
kinshadow @ Apr 9th 2008 4:08PM
That poor SOB..... he's obviously mental challenged and you asshats are making fun of him.
STOP PICKING ON THE HANDICAPPED!
Anonymous @ Apr 9th 2008 4:31PM
He's got a doctorate in literature, actually.
Which begs the question; are German university standards THAT low or has he been trolling us IRL this whole time?
kinshadow @ Apr 9th 2008 4:37PM
PHD in German literature? Finaly, his films make sense....
HE'S A SADIST!
ThornedVenom (Harley Quinn Defense Force) @ Apr 9th 2008 5:19PM
LEEEAAAAAAAVE THE CINEMA RAPER ALOOOOOOOOONE!
NATO_Duke @ Apr 9th 2008 4:10PM
...sad thing is that Uew Boll didn't even sign the petition to keep himself making movies.
Ben! @ Apr 9th 2008 4:10PM
I'm unable to watch the video at the moment, but it seems fairly obvious from his "the only genius in the whole fucking business" comment that he's being facetious and simply playing up the perception people have of him.
ViagraFiend @ Apr 9th 2008 4:10PM
holy hell....thanks for the laugh joystiq. I already signed the petition.
kinshadow @ Apr 9th 2008 4:10PM
Those are all his employees.
Fortuntely, his family declined to sign the petition.
NATO_Duke @ Apr 9th 2008 4:25PM
It says Uwe's mom on one of them.
m @ Apr 9th 2008 4:10PM
FACT: The 72 people who signed are his relatives.
ApolloIV @ Apr 9th 2008 4:11PM
At first I thought he was being funny but damn I can't believe this guy takes himself that seriously. Well good, we send this video to the forums of all the people he insulted that many more sigs.
m @ Apr 9th 2008 4:12PM
Dangit, kinshadow made my comment a paradox
kinshadow @ Apr 9th 2008 4:15PM
RUN! The Joystiq comment logic will explode and stop making any sense! Oh, wait....
Maverick Saturn @ Apr 9th 2008 4:12PM
Don't worry people, those signatures are either just him changing his ip, or his family :)
I'll give him a cookie if that figure raises to 79 within the next year. lol
Hurray for crayy movies ^^
Maverick Saturn @ Apr 9th 2008 4:12PM
*crappy
Uwe should hire me, i'll bring his staus back up, where can I contact him :)
EZ @ Apr 9th 2008 4:12PM
its up to 221 as of 3:12 CDT.
This could get interesting...
EZ @ Apr 9th 2008 4:14PM
also, the Stop Uwe Boll petition gets around 2 signatures every few seconds..
Just keep refreshing the page with the amount shown..
Nigeria: Cody ChesnuTT Defense Force @ Apr 9th 2008 4:12PM
Seriously, guys, Boll isn't that bad a director. Yeah, his game-to-film adaptations have sucked, but they had sucky stories to begin with. Postal looks good - and by that I mean fun.
Uwe deserves our support.
I support you Uwe. Give me a job.
Ghen @ Apr 9th 2008 4:57PM
I'm sorry but it seems like your joystiq access card has been denied. Would you like to try another form of access?
Cal @ Apr 9th 2008 4:12PM
He's so awesome that he killed youtube -.- It won't load properly anymore =(
Cal @ Apr 9th 2008 4:14PM
Nooooo! Who gave him the right to direct Postal!?
NATO_Duke @ Apr 9th 2008 4:27PM
Postal? That is way old news.
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0486640/
Cal @ Apr 9th 2008 4:29PM
Never heard about it, probably a good job I hadn't
GumbyX84 @ Apr 9th 2008 4:14PM
The petition is now up to 225 signatures. ...... I am scared right now......
CrazySteve88 @ Apr 9th 2008 4:14PM
"143520 Total Signatures" wow it almost jumped up 10k votes already. I highly doubt "222 Total Signatures" make a difference. I'm pretty sure the fact that the petition is getting so many votes must be pissing him off. Want proof? watch the video :P
Fernando Rocker @ Apr 9th 2008 4:14PM
He is a sad pand... well, more like a pathetic panda.
ThornedVenom (Harley Quinn Defense Force) @ Apr 9th 2008 5:20PM
Good news: pandas are endangered species on the brink of extinction.
J @ Apr 9th 2008 4:21PM
The only thing "genius" about Uwe Boll is his financial scheme that lets him keep producing box office bombs.
CrazySteve88 @ Apr 9th 2008 4:21PM
I would also like to add that at this rate it will take less then 1 week to reach 1 million votes. In 1 week his career will end. *cough* doubt it *cough* *hack*