Real Mario now moves, talks, causes nightmares
by Alexander Sliwinski 
{ Apr 9th 2008 at 7:00PM }
At the request of our lawyers, we've placed Real Mario after the break to protect children's dreams
If you ever wondered why Nintendo didn't enter the high-definition era, all questions were immediately quashed at the first sight of the infamous "Real Mario." Now, in the evolution of the nightmare, an artist named Portix has animated the image. Not only does it move, but it also speaks like Frank the Donnie Darko bunny.
We absolve ourselves of restless nights or feelings of panic caused by viewing Real Mario. For those with the fortitude for the stagnant image we've placed it after after the break. Clicking the "read" link will take you face-to-face with the (impressive) abomination.
We absolve ourselves of restless nights or feelings of panic caused by viewing Real Mario. For those with the fortitude for the stagnant image we've placed it after after the break. Clicking the "read" link will take you face-to-face with the (impressive) abomination.
EXPERIENCE THE MOTION HORROR BY CLICKING ON THE IMAGE!
Reader Comments (Page 1 of 2)
mike @ Apr 9th 2008 7:05PM
LOL. man I cant stop laughing. I just spit up all my juice. That is one creepy mario
bigsofty @ Apr 9th 2008 8:35PM
Looks like my wifes mother...
Co @ Apr 9th 2008 9:59PM
it's all in the eyes.
Bucket @ Apr 9th 2008 7:07PM
YYEEEAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRGGGGHHHHHH
lfs @ Apr 9th 2008 7:11PM
Terrible.. I liked the static picture... that was just crap.
Reuben @ Apr 9th 2008 7:09PM
my god... I am repulsed, yet I can't look away!
Raikage (LDF CRAB BATTLE!!!) @ Apr 10th 2008 3:18AM
Well, since no one else has said it...
I'd hit it.
Ghen @ Apr 10th 2008 11:00AM
yeah, you probably would.
Exodus @ Apr 9th 2008 7:10PM
Eeeeewwwwww...gross...at least we don't have a picture of his plummer's arse.
NukeAssault @ Apr 9th 2008 7:12PM
Homer one was cool.
John McPoop @ Apr 9th 2008 7:50PM
My God the Homer one was hideous ... That will cause nightmares ... Makes Mario look normal
cristian @ Apr 9th 2008 7:13PM
That is so old... i think it was in wiifanboy
Odog4ever @ Apr 9th 2008 7:40PM
So? Good thing they put it up here since I don't read Wiifanboy.
Shmil (Brawl Code 2621-2310-1994) @ Apr 9th 2008 8:28PM
Your mom's so old.
Matt B @ Apr 9th 2008 8:48PM
There is a wiifanboy site?
Neebs @ Apr 9th 2008 7:14PM
EW GOD WTF
Mr.ESC @ Apr 9th 2008 7:14PM
Who created this abomination? You?...Science?...God?
TheFreak @ Apr 9th 2008 7:14PM
Stop it! Stop it! For the sake of all that is holy and sane, STOP IT!!
Donald @ Apr 9th 2008 7:17PM
Real Bowser:
http://img120.imageshack.us/img120/2738/therealbowserkt5.jpg
goboColossus @ Apr 9th 2008 7:23PM
http://img514.imageshack.us/img514/8736/mariomovie5bc5.jpg
Donald @ Apr 9th 2008 8:06PM
Stupid imageshack.:(
Mr Khan @ Apr 9th 2008 7:18PM
Scary shit
Benny @ Apr 9th 2008 7:18PM
I genuinely shit my pants. Real Goomba?
Shagittarius @ Apr 9th 2008 7:25PM
I think in this case the M on his hat stands for 'Molester'.
Matt B @ Apr 9th 2008 8:49PM
I thought it was for Milked.
343 Guilty Fart @ Apr 9th 2008 7:33PM
What hath god wrought?!
rokerovakero @ Apr 9th 2008 7:35PM
lol, I hope Nintendo stays away from skin textures forever. I imagine something like this when I saw Mario's Denim textured overalls in SSBB...
There's a Homer Simpson also, but it looks like a fetus, a really monstrous fetus...
Imadogg @ Apr 10th 2008 10:11AM
Quiet you, you're using real Mario as your profile pic
INYAFACE @ Apr 9th 2008 7:39PM
something tells me this Mario has a big bag of candy , a lost puppy and a van that he drives around elementary schools all day.
idiot @ Apr 9th 2008 7:43PM
*craps pants*
HighFiveJesus @ Apr 9th 2008 7:53PM
I'm sorry, i can usually handle ugly but this is like, circus ugly.
Autopsy15 @ Apr 9th 2008 11:08PM
Jesus, did someone open the ark of the covenant?
StarDock_Dev @ Apr 9th 2008 7:55PM
Could you imagine if that was done to one of the many classic characters in the critically acclaimed Galactic Civilizations II, Sins of a Solar Empire, or DemiGod?
Such incredible games, with so many memorable characters. I'm sure hundreds of artists are working on one right now, lol.
Kenn @ Apr 10th 2008 10:35PM
WTF
AcidMonkey @ Apr 9th 2008 7:59PM
Woah! Nintendo first conquered the market, now our nightmares.... blech.
SHADOW_CUTTER @ Apr 9th 2008 8:00PM
OMG IF THIS IS MARIO, I DON'T WANNA THINK ABOUT WARIO
goboColossus @ Apr 9th 2008 8:15PM
http://img88.imageshack.us/img88/4695/imagesqb4.jpg
Mr.ESC @ Apr 9th 2008 8:46PM
Damn goboColossus don't put that stuff in here.I think I just threw up a little in my mouth.
DWells55 @ Apr 9th 2008 10:22PM
I wasn't expecting that at all, goboColossus. That was absolutely hilarious.
Shmil (Brawl Code 2621-2310-1994) @ Apr 9th 2008 8:11PM
Real life Mario: wow that's creepy
Real life Homer: *fetal position in the corner rocking back and forth* it's only a cartoon...its only a cartoon...its only a cartoon
Phoenix @ Apr 9th 2008 8:17PM
Part of my soul just died a little.
ApolloIV @ Apr 9th 2008 8:27PM
That's hot.
jmf @ Apr 9th 2008 8:51PM
That was mildly disturbing
Sora267 @ Apr 9th 2008 9:05PM
I love how you linked to this article in the article itself. It kind of confused me when I clicked the link and it seemed as if nothing happened.
Gregorius @ Apr 9th 2008 9:23PM
Creepy...
Nicholas Sulikowski @ Apr 9th 2008 9:28PM
My God.....I was half-expecting it to tell me they all float down here.
Kujel @ Apr 9th 2008 9:28PM
That was some funny shit man.
The7thSymbol @ Apr 9th 2008 10:22PM
Why can't I pull and contort his face? : (
Gewurztraminer (needs more umlaut) @ Apr 9th 2008 10:27PM
For the first time all week I'm finally GLAD I now have a firewall at work that blocks this site.
chacho89 @ Apr 9th 2008 10:27PM
creepy.