Real Mario now moves, talks, causes nightmares

by Alexander Sliwinski { Apr 9th 2008 at 7:00PM }

At the request of our lawyers, we've placed Real Mario after the break to protect children's dreams

If you ever wondered why Nintendo didn't enter the high-definition era, all questions were immediately quashed at the first sight of the infamous "Real Mario." Now, in the evolution of the nightmare, an artist named Portix has animated the image. Not only does it move, but it also speaks like Frank the Donnie Darko bunny.

We absolve ourselves of restless nights or feelings of panic caused by viewing Real Mario. For those with the fortitude for the stagnant image we've placed it after after the break. Clicking the "read" link will take you face-to-face with the (impressive) abomination.

EXPERIENCE THE MOTION HORROR BY CLICKING ON THE IMAGE!

Tags: mario, pixeloo, portix, real-life-mario, real-mario

Reader Comments (Page 1 of 2)

mike @ Apr 9th 2008 7:05PM

LOL. man I cant stop laughing. I just spit up all my juice. That is one creepy mario

bigsofty @ Apr 9th 2008 8:35PM

Looks like my wifes mother...

Co @ Apr 9th 2008 9:59PM

it's all in the eyes.

Bucket @ Apr 9th 2008 7:07PM

YYEEEAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRGGGGHHHHHH

Reuben @ Apr 9th 2008 7:09PM

my god... I am repulsed, yet I can't look away!

Raikage (LDF CRAB BATTLE!!!) @ Apr 10th 2008 3:18AM

Well, since no one else has said it...

I'd hit it.

Ghen @ Apr 10th 2008 11:00AM

yeah, you probably would.

Exodus @ Apr 9th 2008 7:10PM

Eeeeewwwwww...gross...at least we don't have a picture of his plummer's arse.

lfs @ Apr 9th 2008 7:11PM

Terrible.. I liked the static picture... that was just crap.

NukeAssault @ Apr 9th 2008 7:12PM

Homer one was cool.

John McPoop @ Apr 9th 2008 7:50PM

My God the Homer one was hideous ... That will cause nightmares ... Makes Mario look normal

cristian @ Apr 9th 2008 7:13PM

That is so old... i think it was in wiifanboy

Odog4ever @ Apr 9th 2008 7:40PM

So? Good thing they put it up here since I don't read Wiifanboy.

Shmil (Brawl Code 2621-2310-1994) @ Apr 9th 2008 8:28PM

Your mom's so old.

Matt B @ Apr 9th 2008 8:48PM

There is a wiifanboy site?

Neebs @ Apr 9th 2008 7:14PM

EW GOD WTF

Mr.ESC @ Apr 9th 2008 7:14PM

Who created this abomination? You?...Science?...God?

TheFreak @ Apr 9th 2008 7:14PM

Stop it! Stop it! For the sake of all that is holy and sane, STOP IT!!

Donald @ Apr 9th 2008 7:17PM

Real Bowser:

http://img120.imageshack.us/img120/2738/therealbowserkt5.jpg

goboColossus @ Apr 9th 2008 7:23PM

http://img514.imageshack.us/img514/8736/mariomovie5bc5.jpg

Donald @ Apr 9th 2008 8:06PM

Stupid imageshack.:(

Mr Khan @ Apr 9th 2008 7:18PM

Scary shit

Benny @ Apr 9th 2008 7:18PM

I genuinely shit my pants. Real Goomba?

Shagittarius @ Apr 9th 2008 7:25PM

I think in this case the M on his hat stands for 'Molester'.

Matt B @ Apr 9th 2008 8:49PM

I thought it was for Milked.

343 Guilty Fart @ Apr 9th 2008 7:33PM

What hath god wrought?!

rokerovakero @ Apr 9th 2008 7:35PM

lol, I hope Nintendo stays away from skin textures forever. I imagine something like this when I saw Mario's Denim textured overalls in SSBB...

There's a Homer Simpson also, but it looks like a fetus, a really monstrous fetus...

Imadogg @ Apr 10th 2008 10:11AM

Quiet you, you're using real Mario as your profile pic

INYAFACE @ Apr 9th 2008 7:39PM

something tells me this Mario has a big bag of candy , a lost puppy and a van that he drives around elementary schools all day.

idiot @ Apr 9th 2008 7:43PM

*craps pants*

HighFiveJesus @ Apr 9th 2008 7:53PM

I'm sorry, i can usually handle ugly but this is like, circus ugly.

Autopsy15 @ Apr 9th 2008 11:08PM

Jesus, did someone open the ark of the covenant?

StarDock_Dev @ Apr 9th 2008 7:55PM

Could you imagine if that was done to one of the many classic characters in the critically acclaimed Galactic Civilizations II, Sins of a Solar Empire, or DemiGod?

Such incredible games, with so many memorable characters. I'm sure hundreds of artists are working on one right now, lol.