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Joystiq

Real Mario now moves, talks, causes nightmares

by Alexander Sliwinski on Apr 9th 2008 7:00PM

At the request of our lawyers, we've placed Real Mario after the break to protect children's dreams

If you ever wondered why Nintendo didn't enter the high-definition era, all questions were immediately quashed at the first sight of the infamous "Real Mario." Now, in the evolution of the nightmare, an artist named Portix has animated the image. Not only does it move, but it also speaks like Frank the Donnie Darko bunny.

We absolve ourselves of restless nights or feelings of panic caused by viewing Real Mario. For those with the fortitude for the stagnant image we've placed it after after the break. Clicking the "read" link will take you face-to-face with the (impressive) abomination.

EXPERIENCE THE MOTION HORROR BY CLICKING ON THE IMAGE!

Source

Tags: mario, pixeloo, portix, real-life-mario, real-mario

Reader Comments (55)

LOL. man I cant stop laughing. I just spit up all my juice. That is one creepy mario

Looks like my wifes mother...

it's all in the eyes.

YYEEEAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRGGGGHHHHHH

Terrible.. I liked the static picture... that was just crap.

my god... I am repulsed, yet I can't look away!

Well, since no one else has said it...

I'd hit it.

yeah, you probably would.

Eeeeewwwwww...gross...at least we don't have a picture of his plummer's arse.

Homer one was cool.

My God the Homer one was hideous ... That will cause nightmares ... Makes Mario look normal

That is so old... i think it was in wiifanboy

So? Good thing they put it up here since I don't read Wiifanboy.

Your mom's so old.

There is a wiifanboy site?

EW GOD WTF

Who created this abomination? You?...Science?...God?

Stop it! Stop it! For the sake of all that is holy and sane, STOP IT!!

Real Bowser:

http://img120.imageshack.us/img120/2738/therealbowserkt5.jpg

http://img514.imageshack.us/img514/8736/mariomovie5bc5.jpg

Stupid imageshack.:(

Scary shit

I genuinely shit my pants. Real Goomba?

I think in this case the M on his hat stands for 'Molester'.

I thought it was for Milked.

What hath god wrought?!

lol, I hope Nintendo stays away from skin textures forever. I imagine something like this when I saw Mario's Denim textured overalls in SSBB...

There's a Homer Simpson also, but it looks like a fetus, a really monstrous fetus...

Quiet you, you're using real Mario as your profile pic

something tells me this Mario has a big bag of candy , a lost puppy and a van that he drives around elementary schools all day.

*craps pants*

I'm sorry, i can usually handle ugly but this is like, circus ugly.

Jesus, did someone open the ark of the covenant?

Could you imagine if that was done to one of the many classic characters in the critically acclaimed Galactic Civilizations II, Sins of a Solar Empire, or DemiGod?

Such incredible games, with so many memorable characters. I'm sure hundreds of artists are working on one right now, lol.

WTF

Woah! Nintendo first conquered the market, now our nightmares.... blech.

OMG IF THIS IS MARIO, I DON'T WANNA THINK ABOUT WARIO

http://img88.imageshack.us/img88/4695/imagesqb4.jpg

Damn goboColossus don't put that stuff in here.I think I just threw up a little in my mouth.

I wasn't expecting that at all, goboColossus. That was absolutely hilarious.

Real life Mario: wow that's creepy
Real life Homer: *fetal position in the corner rocking back and forth* it's only a cartoon...its only a cartoon...its only a cartoon

Part of my soul just died a little.

That's hot.

That was mildly disturbing

I love how you linked to this article in the article itself. It kind of confused me when I clicked the link and it seemed as if nothing happened.

Creepy...

My God.....I was half-expecting it to tell me they all float down here.

That was some funny shit man.

Why can't I pull and contort his face? : (

For the first time all week I'm finally GLAD I now have a firewall at work that blocks this site.

creepy.

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Real Mario now moves, talks, causes nightmares

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Posted: Apr 9th 2008 7:05PM 007craft said

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