Separated at birth: Wii Fit Balance Board and Aperture Science turret
by Zack Stern 
{ Apr 16th 2008 at 6:55AM }
Yes, there are still a few differences. The Balance Board voice -- and we presume nefarious AI -- comes through the Wii and out a TV, while the turrets are all self-contained. Plus the balance board might not be trying to kill us. The verdict is still uncertain, but be warned.
Aperture Science turret
Wii Fit Balance Board
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Reader Comments (Page 1 of 1)
Maverick Saturn @ Apr 16th 2008 6:59AM
Whats up with the freaky voices :S
ViagraFiend @ Apr 16th 2008 4:17PM
It sounds like the wii balance board is saying pleasuring....
*faps*
Demaar @ Apr 16th 2008 7:01AM
Most likely unrelated. But that's one hell of a coincidence.
What is it with people giving inanimate objects adorable voices?
Benny @ Apr 16th 2008 7:05AM
If it sings Still Alive I'll buy one.
Benny @ Apr 16th 2008 7:05AM
If it tries to gas me I won't.
Tim The Enchanter @ Apr 16th 2008 12:59PM
I also hear it entices you to play more with the promise of cake.
ThornedVenom (Harley Quinn Defense Force) @ Apr 16th 2008 7:11AM
That has to be the best win of the week.
The Artist formally known as Jesus @ Apr 16th 2008 7:14AM
If they rename the Wii Fit Balance Board into the Aperture Science Balancing Device then I'll definitely buy it
capt_carl @ Apr 16th 2008 8:52AM
Aperture Science Portable Podiatric Equilibrium Pedestal, or ASPPEP for short.
Yes, I do have too much free time while at work.
Korova @ Apr 16th 2008 7:18AM
WHEEEERRREEEE AAAARRREE YOOOOUUUUUU!
Mr.ESC @ Apr 16th 2008 10:53AM
THERE YOU ARE!
*RAtATAtAATATA
Sleep time
*Shuts down.
Raikage (LDF CRAB BATTLE!!!) @ Apr 16th 2008 2:40PM
Are you still there?!
I love that game:D
BPM [SSBB: 5026 4120 1186] @ Apr 16th 2008 9:58PM
[gets shot]
I don't blame you...
bm @ Apr 16th 2008 7:21AM
Ok, I just went from "meh" to "hmmmmm" on this balancing board thing. srsly
nxtiak @ Apr 16th 2008 7:21AM
Should have the voice come out through the Wii-Mote speaker
MarkHawk @ Apr 16th 2008 7:46AM
Have you guys seen the WiiCube? It's oddly similar to this but the only key difference is... Each WiiCube only speaks to you because it's your best friend and no one else's. I'd probably through it in the fire place if I caught it hanging out with anyone else. I'll post pics when were done figuring out a way to get the cookies off the top of the fridge.
Chase @ Apr 16th 2008 8:04AM
If Nintendo creates a Weighted Companion Cube attachment for the Wiimote, or in general, I will buy it, and pray Microsoft actually releases their bastard clone.
samfish @ Apr 16th 2008 9:13AM
Why don't you just tie your Gamecube to the Wiimote strap?
It has that handy carrying handle, after all.
Bus @ Apr 16th 2008 8:50AM
This is a triumph!
lgndk11r @ Apr 16th 2008 8:52AM
I'm making a note here
Donald @ Apr 16th 2008 8:57AM
Huge sucC-C-C-COMBO BREAKER!
michas_pi @ Apr 16th 2008 2:23PM
Fantastic.
A two-post combo.
phobos @ Apr 16th 2008 8:51AM
The balance board definitely isn't trying to kill us. Remember, the balance board will never threaten to stab you, and in fact cannot speak...
LionheartAce @ Apr 16th 2008 9:04AM
Yes! Now I'm waiting for the Turret mod for the Wii Balance Board!
Scott @ Apr 16th 2008 9:05AM
"Plus the balance board might not be trying to kill us."
Hmmm... I'm still going to take its batteries out at night.
samfish @ Apr 16th 2008 9:11AM
If I was a robit, I'd like to have sex with the Portal turret.
However, if I had sex with the Wii Fit board, I'd be a robot pedophile.
Mr.ESC @ Apr 16th 2008 10:58AM
Then Robo-Chris Hansen would say:
*Beep* I Order You to Take A Seat Over There *Beep*.
Then we all can go out and kill humans.Except for pedobot since it will be in jail for its crimes against robots with Windows Vista
CarpeD1em500 @ Apr 16th 2008 9:33AM
Is anyone else not getting anything in that post?
I get the text and the first image, but everything under that is broken with a red "x"?
Is it supposed to be an mp3 or something? I'm using IE7...Oh well...
xFenixKnightx @ Apr 16th 2008 11:15AM
Dude, where can I get a larger image of your avatar Ive been looking for a cross thats 'different' for a tatt. Can you hook me up with a link or something? Ill be getting this under it.
http://i97.photobucket.com/albums/l208/VianneyA_2006/carpe-diem-white.jpg
Field Anony-mouse @ Apr 16th 2008 9:42AM
Hmmm... I think the biggest difference is that the turret is more relaxed sounding while the Wii Fit board is more energetic. If you listen to the turret when it's getting picked up or shot at it sounds even more like the Wii Fit board.
klitorisaurus @ Apr 16th 2008 2:43PM
Turrets are balance boards who've lost their virginity.
Mr.ESC @ Apr 16th 2008 10:54AM
What type of file is that? I keep seeing red X's.
macographer @ Apr 16th 2008 10:59AM
Those are embedded flash objects, if that helps.
Alex @ Apr 16th 2008 11:12AM
Well, I dunno if they're relatives, but definetly you saved me some work and now i can use the turret voice in my cellphone as SMS alert. It goes with the ringtone of the Portal Radios.
Saria the Cat @ Apr 16th 2008 1:12PM
JEAN EE US
gcountach @ Apr 16th 2008 11:30AM
"Plus the balance board might not be trying to kill us. The verdict is still uncertain, but be warned."
I think 20min on this thing (if it does what its suppose to... cause gamers to exercise *cringes*), and you'll be singing a different tune.
Hot$auce_Magik @ Apr 16th 2008 11:34AM
ZOMG THE MACHINES ARE COMING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
xFenixKnightx @ Apr 16th 2008 12:15PM
Oh Noez!
TheHuntIsOn @ Apr 16th 2008 12:30PM
This was a workout.
I'm making a note here:
HUGE SUCCESS.
It's hard to overstate
my cholesterol level.
Nintendo Science
We do what we must
because you're fat.
For the good of all our stock level.
Except the ones who are dead (fat).
But there's no sense crying
over your humongous weight.
You just keep on trying
till you get some more cake.
And the Science gets done.
And you make a neat pad.
For the people who are
still alive. (and fat)
I give up.
Korova @ Apr 16th 2008 12:40PM
*beep
I acknowledge your greatness, oh, musical one.
*beep
*beep
*beep
DG @ Apr 16th 2008 12:50PM
I never thought I would actually miss a video game, but I miss playing Portal.
Shmil @ Apr 16th 2008 12:53PM
Don't make Zack angry. You wouldn't like him when he's angry.
Tim The Enchanter @ Apr 16th 2008 12:57PM
Funny pic.
Saria the Cat @ Apr 16th 2008 1:08PM
Fail.
billychaos @ Apr 16th 2008 1:30PM
well Janet Jacksons Song 'Rock with U' uses the same voice effect of GlaDOS in a sample that plays throughout the song. This made me immediatly love the song, hehehe.
AnonymousFinger @ Apr 16th 2008 1:29PM
Is it Aperture Science or Aperture Laboratories? It says Aperture Laboratories over the elevator doors, and I think in the song Still Alive it refers to Aperture science as the study of apertures, not the name of the institution.
Zachary Hinchliffe @ May 2nd 2008 6:25PM
the company's name is indeed Aperture Science.
BPM [SSBB: 5026 4120 1186] @ Apr 16th 2008 10:02PM
Oh, crap. That just convinced me to NOT get Wii Fit. I don't wanna risk the Balance Board trying to kill me.
Ben @ Apr 17th 2008 12:40AM
very stupid question...how do I hear this? there is just red x's under each thing
deet-tastic @ May 8th 2008 5:43PM
I will be taking the batteries out at night. and hiding any cake mix i have.