Zero Punctuation beats up Smash Bros. Brawl ... you're surprised?

by Alexander Sliwinski { Apr 23rd 2008 at 8:30PM }

This is the Zero Punctuation that'll make the Nintendo Defense Force mobilize and threaten nuclear annihilation. This week Yahtzee takes on one of the Wii's golden cows with his ~~review~~ wholesale bludgeoning of Super Smash Bros. Brawl. For those just joining the ZP party, Yahtzee doesn't like Nintendo very much. If you love SSBB, great. If you don't like it, that's great too. Just sit back and enjoy the review for the spectacle in hatred it is.

Fanboys, prepare for masochism after the break with this week's NSFW review of Super Smash Bros. Brawl.

Tags: escapist, escapist-magazine, ssbb, yahtzee, zero-punctuation, zeropunctuation

Reader Comments (Page 1 of 3)

Fernando Rocker @ Apr 23rd 2008 8:34PM

I saw this in the morning... very funny!

finnith @ Apr 23rd 2008 9:11PM

*gasp*

Sorry. You didn't deserve that.

SharpShooter @ Apr 23rd 2008 11:08PM

Wow, congratulations Fernando! You actually got a special mention at the end of the video. I'm so jealous now :(

jsn @ Apr 23rd 2008 10:25PM

it was his best work ever..period.

finnith @ Apr 23rd 2008 10:47PM

I don't get it, was he being sarcastic?

Shmil @ Apr 24th 2008 12:43AM

people vote down Fernando because apparently the cool thing now is to hate fernando, just like hating halo 3 and loving Cod4.

BIGGEN @ Apr 24th 2008 5:55AM

i don't hate fernando, he makes some valid arguements...sometimes. but i do hate halo3 and i love cod4, but not because it's popular to do so. it's because one is fun to play and the other, well, has so many obnoxious ass, pimple faced, pre-pubescant, living in their mom's basement, run towards each other while shooting and then melee to see who wins, shit talking pricks, that it just isn't any fun.

syrik zero @ Apr 24th 2008 10:07AM

That was awesome! I got this game through GameFly and I was so excited to get the game to come to the same conclusion.... It takes hours to unlock the characters you wants and it's not worth the time. I put some time into the game and then none of my friends could stop me. Highly over rated game! I do enjoy Halo3, even though COD4 is more enjoyable for me.

THE WICKER MAN (BWF) (GT: Dalek Prime) @ Apr 24th 2008 12:17PM

Im growing tired of seeing comments on Fernando instead of the article.(guilty) every post is starting to appear rather self mastubatory.

copres @ Apr 24th 2008 12:20PM

hey fernando,

lets exchance some Wii info, i hear you are good at SSBB. i would like to challenge you :)

Dr.Zoidberg @ Apr 24th 2008 2:10PM

oh schnapp he said fernandos name "miserable fanboy twat"

Robert @ Apr 23rd 2008 8:34PM

The game is okay, but totally not worth the hype. But neither is the Wii, so it's a perfect fit.

Libb @ Apr 24th 2008 9:55AM

I agree, but unfortunately my friends are right now positively addicted to the game, even though I was the one that bought it first and introduced them to it. The first night I had my friends over to play it, we played through the SSE in tag team fashion, playing straight through for 13 hours (just to unlock all of the shit, and even then, I had to go back afterwards to get three more guys...).

Beyond that, my game isn't too far, but my buddy immediately ran out and got it for his Wii, and he and my other friend who is amazing at the game have, in about four weeks of playing almost every night, almost cleared the entire punchboard of challenges and unlocked almost every trophy. Meanwhile, I keep trying to bait them away with Halo 3, COD4, and Rock Band, to no avail...

I like SSBB, but the problem is my friends LOOOOOOOOVE it!.... (linger longer)

cold school @ Apr 24th 2008 11:59AM

"fan service circle jerk" says it all.

Joeshie @ Apr 23rd 2008 8:34PM

in b4 Nintendo fanboys ferociously attack Yahtzee

David @ Apr 23rd 2008 10:05PM

..but not before a hater threw in his two cents. Honestly, calling out the fanatics has gotten worse than the fanatics themselves.

Anni @ Apr 23rd 2008 11:19PM

Man, I scrolled down and this comment STILL hasn't been validated.

This must be so awkward for you!

Yeah @ Apr 23rd 2008 8:35PM

Yeah saw this coming. No surprise. He has expressed his dislike for the Nintendo Wii in interviews already. I haven't played Brawl but I have played it's predecessors and I personally don't really see his gripe with unlockable content. All games should have some goal to work towards.

Fatass of Kickassness @ Apr 23rd 2008 8:37PM

Plus, he seems to forget that if you have other people playing with you, it very significantly shortens the amount of time it takes to unlock characters and stages and such.

Joeshie @ Apr 23rd 2008 8:38PM

The point about unlockables was made that it's stupid for a party game like Brawl to have them because then you can't get all the characters right away unless you have played it before.

A Pissed-off English Gamer @ Apr 23rd 2008 9:04PM

Yes. A fighting game with unlockables. Oh, what torture. Brawl doesn't even make you play single player to unlock things, and it's actually much faster to unlock things with friends anyway.

mmxzero @ Apr 23rd 2008 9:10PM

But that is only a problem the first couple times, which shouldn't be a big deal considering this is a game that will be played until the next Smash comes out(I'd guess about 6 years).

DarkNessBear @ Apr 24th 2008 2:44AM

Ummm Joeshie... you never played Rock Band or Guitar Hero before? Rock Band is the ultimate party game and you still have to unlock everything.

Jansperus @ Apr 24th 2008 2:35AM

Games that are meant to be enjoyed with other people should not be crippled at the beginning. Developers only do it to "add replay value." Maybe I'm in the minority, but I didn't hate Street Fighter 2 at all for allowing me to choose EVERY FREAKING CHARACTER AVAILABLE AT THE BEGINNING OF THE GAME! Would the game really have been better if Capcom decided: "You know what? Let's be SUPER GENIUSES and make players only get to play as Dhalsim until they've played some crappy single-player mode for hours or unless they've finished the game twenty freaking times! Oh yeah! That's what gamers want!"
Mortal Kombat is the worst about this, I find, which is why I hate the game now.

fawazr @ Apr 23rd 2008 8:34PM

Very funny. Yahtzee is like the only voice of truth amongst reviewers.

supakoopa @ Apr 23rd 2008 8:48PM

Your icon makes me climax.

fawazr @ Apr 23rd 2008 10:13PM

!o_O!

ScottG13 @ Apr 24th 2008 9:12AM

Its just an opinion, but I VERY OFTEN agree with his opinions.

I was bored with Smash after about an hour. My girlfriend was done after two matches. She wanted to go back to Galaxy.

waynski1457 @ Apr 23rd 2008 8:35PM

I enjoyed this vid. I completely agree that the game is tailored around nostalgia buffs, but I still love it.

Hot$auce_Magik @ Apr 24th 2008 10:05AM

I completely agree with him. Even for a nostalgia buff such as myself, It only took me a couple weeks to get bored of it. Its also really not the pick up and play game everyone makes it out to be. When you get 4 people in ther eand the screen zoomes out, you can barely see your character, much less try and control him. For someone who is just grabbing a controler and playing for the first time with whichever character they thought would be cool, thats a deal breaker.

Its nowhere near as easy to pick up and play as Karts is. In karts after a few races, you can begin to pick up little tips and skills. In SB, you really have to play the same character hundreds of times to start to work out its little quirks. Karts FTW, Much to my chagrin, SSMB FTL

Fatass of Kickassness @ Apr 23rd 2008 8:36PM

Hilarious, though many of his claims are bullshit. Ain't gonna pretend the game doesn't have flaws, but some of the things he points out are pretty dumb.

Fernando Rocker @ Apr 23rd 2008 8:42PM

The problem is that this game can be a little difficult for some people...

Theres so much thing going on on the screen, and you need to be a good player, with experiencie.

It's not perfect by any means, but like you said, some of the thing he say are only exagerations (with every game, not defending this title in particular).

At least it's like an "honor" for a game to be reviewd by Yahtzee, because only good games are reviewed by him.

tmacairjordan87 @ Apr 23rd 2008 8:48PM

except like most fighting games, a total noob can just walk in and have a shot at winning against a veteran just by button mashing.

and no he reviews shitty games too. Look up his review on that jericho game.

Fernando Rocker @ Apr 23rd 2008 8:50PM

You are wrong jordan...

I'm 100% sure that you can beat me or Fatass on a single fight...

Whenever you want to try, just tell me.

Fernando Rocker @ Apr 23rd 2008 8:51PM

*can't

tmacairjordan87 @ Apr 23rd 2008 8:55PM

except i don't have a wii, and will never have one.

I've beaten very experienced friends before in more complex fighters like the tekkens and soul calibers (with no experience on my part since i don't like fighting games) and yes I did it with melee too.

This is virtually the same as the other two and still not as complex as those other fighting games so I could ***have a shot*** (you missed that part, I didn't say I could definitely do it, just have a chance) at beating you.

Fernando Rocker @ Apr 23rd 2008 9:07PM

Why people keeps saying Soul Caliber? Really, a lot of other guys say Soul Caliber, and not as a typo... the U and E are very separated.

Superstar90 @ Apr 23rd 2008 9:25PM

Fernando correct a spelling mistake? Is this Bizarro world?

Goodbye?

Rollins @ Apr 23rd 2008 9:27PM

@Fernando

"At least it's like an "honor" for a game to be reviewd by Yahtzee, because only good games are reviewed by him."

Like Turok, Sim City Societies, Jericho, and the F.E.A.R. expansion?

Cesaria (SSBB: 3136-6466-5083) @ Apr 23rd 2008 9:29PM

For not having a Wii, jordan, you sure like to visit Wii related articles.

The Doctor @ Apr 23rd 2008 9:33PM

All I know is that never having played SCII before, I routinely defeated someone who owned and played often in that game.

I did not own SSBM, and was routinely defeated by those who did. Now, owning SSBB, but not having much time to play it, I am routinely defeated by those that play often. And I have never lost nor come near to losing to someone who's never played a Smash Bros game before.

xFenixKnightx @ Apr 23rd 2008 10:17PM

Ayeyayai Fernando, chill my brother chill. He speaks some truth in this vid but its cool, its nothing we *didnt already know anyway. ;)

Fatass of Kickassness @ Apr 24th 2008 11:30AM

lol, I got downvoted for that?

The only people worse than the fanboys around here are the dedicated system haters.

Wyvernlink @ Apr 23rd 2008 8:39PM

lol nice 'review'

so who else is 'that guy'?

A Pissed-off English Gamer @ Apr 23rd 2008 8:55PM

Sadly my role as "that guy" was predestined in whatever future group of friends i was to have since i first played sonic on the master system.

Saria the Cat @ Apr 23rd 2008 9:23PM

Sadly, I am "that girl," which is even more frustrating to other players, who are mostly male. This is because at least "that guy" who is beating their asses is a GUY, but "that girl" beating their asses...well, no man wants to endure that. :P

Anticrawl @ Apr 23rd 2008 10:38PM

@Sara

Haha, so you would think....

No but seriously I don't like women beating my ass, not much for masochism or floggings.

Snatcher (MDF - Halo Ring) @ Apr 24th 2008 6:02AM

If you're commenting on Joystiq you are probably "that guy". For instance I can whoop yall's butt in anything from Tecmo Bowl on NES to COD4 on 360. I'm even "that guy" that had the sega genesis/sega CD/32x combo.

But getting back on point. Mario party 709 XLIVV and Smash Brothers 876732 can lick my ballsack. Dont worry... next go around they will include Master Chief, Doctor Horton and Danny Devito.

They should include a random chick named "girlfriend" cause if you play a lot of this game it may be a welcome addition.