Stalin to save Mother Russia from aliens in new RTS
by Jason Dobson 
{ Apr 27th 2008 at 6:00PM }
The brilliantly titled Stalin Vs. Martians is billed as a simplified game designed "for anyone who just hates the strategy genre," with fun and action taking top billing over the kind of micromanagement that's normally the genre's calling card. Says the game's website: "The only resources you can find on the map are power-ups. They look like they should: like shiny rotating coins of bright colors." The devs even state that Stalin himself will be a playable unit in the later stages of the game, as he lumbers on the field as "a huge colossus, five times higher than any other creature. Just like it was in the real life." We can all look forward to driving the extra terrestrials out of Holy Mother Russia when the game ships for the PC this fall.
Gallery: Stalin vs. Martians
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Reader Comments (Page 1 of 1)
Shmil @ Apr 27th 2008 6:07PM
In Soviet Russia, Mother Russia saves you!
Jerk Face @ Apr 27th 2008 6:25PM
Dude, you are awesome. I seriously laughed so hard it hurt.
Mr Khan @ Apr 27th 2008 6:08PM
lol
The most metal leader from WWII, walking around crushing aliens with his giant fist of worker's power
Yeah, i like it
Lone Starr @ Apr 27th 2008 6:10PM
I've always wanted to play as my favorite murderous despot! If anyone asks, it's for uh, my statistics class.
mezzanine @ Apr 27th 2008 6:21PM
GOTY
Neebs @ Apr 27th 2008 6:21PM
I'll bite. What's the second verb there in the picture?
Neebs @ Apr 27th 2008 6:22PM
Er, first. The 2nd word.
Stalin _________ to dance?
Nightvortez @ Apr 28th 2008 2:54AM
I grew up in the Soviet Union and I don't have the slightest clue.
CouchPotato99 @ Apr 28th 2008 1:57AM
A cookie to whoever figures out what "повелевает" means! Oh, and google says that the romanized version is "povelevaet".
CouchPotato99 @ Apr 28th 2008 2:04AM
Okay, so google translate says that "Сталин повелевает танцевать" means "Stalin rule dance". Stalin rules at dancing? Stalin rules the dance? I actually have absolutely zero knowledged of Russian, so I'm probably just making a fool of myself.
Neebs @ Apr 28th 2008 6:33AM
Stalin rules to dance, if that verb is correct. The last verb is in the infinitive.
Jerk Face @ Apr 27th 2008 6:27PM
Like, really? REALLY really?
colinbell @ Apr 27th 2008 6:27PM
Didnt this guy kill more Russians than Hitler? Including, most criminally, some of the most able and senior officers of the Russian army.
LaughingTarget @ Apr 27th 2008 6:34PM
He also killed more Martians.
Jake11 @ Apr 27th 2008 7:27PM
game over, laughingtarget wins
Penguin Warlord @ Apr 27th 2008 10:13PM
Just 52million of them.
Pasha @ Apr 27th 2008 10:46PM
More Ukrainians, about 6-9 million. Historians lost count.
Jomolungma @ Apr 27th 2008 6:31PM
ba-dum bum... oh wait, you're serious?
WillTheSecond @ Apr 27th 2008 6:38PM
Yeah, we really want to play as the guy who killed more people that Hitler...
Jesus, they could have at least made it Boris Yeltsin, then we could have vodka-induced projectile vomiting at the enemy, while at the same time laughing drunkenly as the Russian Mafia take over most of the post-Soviet business infrastructure.
Just creepy...
RabanastreRat @ Apr 27th 2008 6:47PM
We need to get other WWII leaders in on this. Franklin Roosevelt could come into battle with a massive wheelchair that CRUSHED the Martians beneath! Or Winston Churchill could set them on fire with his cigar of doom! Or Mussolini, in the finest traditions of his people, could chuck turtle shells at them and disappear down a pipe to collect more coins.
ThornedVenom (Harley Quinn Defense Force) @ Apr 27th 2008 6:51PM
We could also put in Chuck Norris.
You KNOW he was in there.
voodoo_craig @ Apr 27th 2008 7:19PM
"Or Mussolini, in the finest traditions of his people, could chuck turtle shells at them and disappear down a pipe to collect more coins."
Best thing I've read today!
hvnlysoldr @ Apr 27th 2008 6:48PM
I'd rather think the Bering Strait Bridge/Tunnel would save Russia.
ThornedVenom (Harley Quinn Defense Force) @ Apr 27th 2008 6:50PM
We don't need your logic in our Joystiq!
ThornedVenom (Harley Quinn Defense Force) @ Apr 27th 2008 6:50PM
FOR THE MOTHERLAND!
theturtle363 @ Apr 27th 2008 7:10PM
i just hope that if you click on the Stalin unit enough like warcraft he'll say "Must crush capitalism! Rrrrarrrh!"
mortey @ Apr 27th 2008 7:41PM
The screenshots make it look like Command and Conquer: Generals meets Warcraft III. Still, the plot sounds amazing.
GatorSax2010 @ Apr 27th 2008 7:44PM
I'm, hoping that other Russian leaders are unlockable. I really want to use Khrushchev's Mighty Shoe-Banging attack to clear out Martians.
mr nimblewick @ Apr 27th 2008 8:35PM
It's a bit too much of the "let's make something quirky that all the internets will go crazy for, just like Snakes on a Plane" for me.
Pharmacy @ Apr 27th 2008 10:06PM
Make this game 20$ and put it on Steam and it'll sell like hotcakes just for the novelty.
Batzarro(A.K.A Rap-Rock Cameo) @ Apr 27th 2008 11:09PM
Yeah, but wher's mah Tze Tung?
Kujel @ Apr 28th 2008 12:37AM
I'd be way more interested in a game about Hitler cleansing Germany of the Jews then this piece of trash.
pointyendofthestick @ Apr 28th 2008 1:29AM
Um, I'm pretty sure those aliens in the screenshots are ripped straight from Toy Story (the little guys in the rocket who worship the Great Claw). That's just strange. I remember watching that movie and thinking "Golly, I wish I was Stalin so I could teach those aliens a lesson". Classy.
John @ Apr 28th 2008 2:05AM
Well if he's as effective at wiping out aliens as he was mass murdering millions of his own people, this will be a pretty easy game
wayharshtai @ Apr 28th 2008 9:22AM
"Stalin commands (you) to dance."
harvsorrow @ Apr 28th 2008 4:52PM
I think Lenin is unlockable.