Uwe Boll thinks Michael Bay 'sucks big time', wants to fight
by Griffin McElroy 
{ Apr 27th 2008 at 11:30AM }
We were always taught to "use our words" to solve disputes between our peers and colleagues; but we guess if your words are ogreish and oft-incomprehensible, your fists will have to do. That's right -- Uwe Boll, much like the honor-bruised 1800 presidential candidate Aaron Burr, has officially donned the boxing gloves he wore in the Webcritic Massacre of 2006 (and while he wrote the script for "Postal", we assume) and challenged the king of summer blockbusters, Michael Bay, to twelve rounds in the ring.
No offense, Bay -- we loved "Bad Boys 2", but you'll forgive us for putting our money on Boll's massive ham-fists. What that guy lacks in movie making ability and social graces, he more than makes up with his pugilistic proclivities.
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Reader Comments (Page 1 of 2)
Yoshi @ Apr 27th 2008 11:37AM
*sigh*
Why is Uwe Boll still alive?
theturtle363 @ Apr 27th 2008 12:03PM
Yeah the fights were just flashes of color and occasionally a shot of Megan Fox
theturtle363 @ Apr 27th 2008 12:09PM
damn i replied to the wrong guy. Oh well you know what i meant
DBuck_Eye @ Apr 27th 2008 12:29PM
The good die young, but pricks live forever.
Delgado @ Apr 27th 2008 2:08PM
I think he is trolling us. That is the only explanation.
Which in my eyes makes him no less than the greatest troll of all time, and he thus earns my love and respect.
I would not even be surprised if he rickrolled us during Postal.
Lone Starr @ Apr 27th 2008 6:20PM
He's still alive because he's tougher. He doesn't practice the "bullshit crap fighting stuff" that Bay does in between his stripper casting sessions. Boll's so tough, he threw around 'bullshit' 'money' and 'LA' like seven times each in under two minutes. AND, he's willing to fight at the Mandalay Bay (obviously a huge advantage for Michael BAY).
Kujel @ Apr 27th 2008 11:53PM
I'll make sure he's not alive anymore for the right price.
Fernando Rocker @ Apr 27th 2008 11:37AM
Both Michael Bay and Uwe Boll sucks:
Uwe Boll = Mediocre.
Michael Bay = Uwe Boll with big budgets.
Limezor @ Apr 27th 2008 11:40AM
At least Micheal Bay's movies are watchable, unlike the crap that is FarCry.
kavendano14 @ Apr 27th 2008 11:41AM
I see you have Uwe's speaking skills.
I Love Bowser @ Apr 27th 2008 11:44AM
That's how I know your full of shit, Limezor. FarCry isn't out yet. If it was, I would know.
Fernando Rocker @ Apr 27th 2008 11:46AM
Pwned!
=p
PS. I want a real Transformers movie... but, featuring the Tranformers as the main protagonists, not as secondary characters like the Michael Bay sucky movie.
Vegeta (aka Ska Oreo) @ Apr 27th 2008 11:50AM
Amen. Movie should have been told from the transformers perspective. Would have made for a much better movie.
Shmil @ Apr 27th 2008 11:59AM
Also it would have helped to be able to see what's going on in the fights in Bayformers.
Jansperus @ Apr 27th 2008 12:22PM
I liked Transformers, but I understand why some people hated it, but if there's one thing I've learned about movies, it's that every movie based on a cartoon or comic book is going to totally rape it to pieces. Even Harry Potter was not spared a thorough plowing!
But, I hope Boll dies for raping BloodRayne. I loved her. :(
Limezor @ Apr 27th 2008 1:19PM
Well considering how fucking bad the trailer is I can assume its going to be pretty bad.
I Love Bowser @ Apr 27th 2008 11:38AM
Uwe Boll is my hero. I'd lay down my life for the man. We should really support European Arthouse Cinema. If we don't, we'll get generic Hollywood slosh like Mr Bay. Do we really want more of that? I'll answer for you: no.
I watch his movies all the time, and if I had four thumbs I'd give him four thumbs up.
I Love Bowser @ Apr 27th 2008 11:41AM
I'd also like to say, he has a sexy accent. And is rather good looking too. That's 3-0 to Boll.
Jansperus @ Apr 27th 2008 12:23PM
He's also German. Nobody who speaks German could be an evil man!
Shmil @ Apr 27th 2008 12:29PM
it means "The bart, the"
playwhutyalike @ Apr 27th 2008 11:46AM
YAWN!
Vegeta (aka Ska Oreo) @ Apr 27th 2008 11:49AM
Now this is something I can get behind. YOU KICK HIS ASS UWE BOLL FOR MAKING THAT SHIT TRANSFORMERS MOVIE!!!!
playwhutyalike @ Apr 27th 2008 11:56AM
Oh, oh, oh-no. Here comes the shitstorm.
Fernando Rocker @ Apr 27th 2008 12:01PM
Tranformers movie?
Ahh, you mean Teen Romance: featuring some robots film?
theturtle363 @ Apr 27th 2008 12:15PM
"you don't know anything about me Sam, how could you with your perfect little life.....which happens to be very likely about to end due to giant robots"
NvM @ Apr 27th 2008 11:53AM
As much as I hate Bay, he is the better director.
Jordan Wasilka @ Apr 27th 2008 11:54AM
How does beating someone in a fight prove you're the "better director"?
DyslexicAlucard @ Apr 27th 2008 11:57AM
Wow, I feel retarded, for some reason I put my real name there. Whoops!
Also, this is obviously just a ploy to gain some more mainstream coverage. If Bay lowers himself (never thought I'd have to say that...) to fighting Boll, even he will have jumped the shark.
I Love Bowser @ Apr 27th 2008 12:00PM
If you were afraid of putting up your real name, why did you comment again that you put up your real name?
Do you have a myspace page? I'm searching you up right now. Tomorrow I'll be watching you sleep. With my hand in my...
DyslexicAlucard @ Apr 27th 2008 12:03PM
Oh, I'm not afraid of putting up my real name, I review games for AceGamez under my real name. I just think it looks a little goofy beside names like DangerMouse and I Love Bowser. ;)
Tiptup300 @ Apr 27th 2008 12:24PM
Sometimes things are only noticeable if you point them out Jordan.
J @ Apr 27th 2008 2:33PM
It doesn't. But it's the only way Uwe Boll can legitimately do something better than somebody.
He's done. No really, it's time for him to stop. Everything.
DangerMouse @ Apr 27th 2008 2:32PM
"Also, this is obviously just a ploy to gain some more mainstream coverage."
Speak for yourself. :-p
32_Footsteps @ Apr 27th 2008 11:54AM
Actually, we must keep this fight from happening at all costs. Especially from happening in Las Vegas. Boll and Bay being that close to each other would create such a miasma of suck that the entire three-mile area around them would implode upon them because that much of a talent vacuum in one place would be against the laws of physics.
Though it's worth watching the above clip. I know I'm not the only one who thinks that Boll sounds like the bad guys from Die Hard. Which brings me to my next suggestion - let's send Bruce Willis after him. If Die Hard 5 was all about Willis hunting Boll down and killing him, I think I'd see it ten times. On Opening Day.
LaughingTarget @ Apr 27th 2008 12:29PM
Die Hard 5 - Why The Fuck Won't This Dude Just Die?
You know, it sounds like if the US Government got Bay and Boll and put them into a box, we'd have the ultimate WMD. Just parachute the two together into the center of Iran and remove the partition separating them and the entire nation would get sucked up into their crapitude.
DangerMouse @ Apr 27th 2008 11:54AM
OOHHHH-WEEEEEE BOWLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL
brad from soundspoof @ Apr 27th 2008 11:58AM
Is this the detonation of what little is left of his career?
I have trouble believing this to be serious. If it was then Uwe is asserting that a dispute over directing ability can be correctly decided via boxing.
Imagine the kind of movies we would get if that idiotic idea were true?
Bay is an affront to film making in his own right but this is stupid.
Shogan @ Apr 27th 2008 12:03PM
lol He is awesome! :)
tc @ Apr 27th 2008 12:01PM
i hope they kill each other
danny @ Apr 27th 2008 12:03PM
UWE BOLL IS THE MAN!!!
So what if he makes bad movies, let him do what he wants. Hell I think I'm the uwe boll in my industry.
Uwe Boll for Prez!!
SoulBlade @ Apr 27th 2008 12:07PM
This guy is a douche. Because beating up Michael Bay would prove something. Boll... if you want people to take you seriously, make better movies.
I'd also like to know if he'd fight on PPV if he didn't get any of the money. I bet he'd back out. Douche.
Note, I don't really care about Michael Bay either, but I'll usually take the opposite side of the dumbass in an argument.
Shmil @ Apr 27th 2008 12:07PM
Good God! Is this really how immature Uwe Boll is? I've seen 10 year olds act more mature than him. "Oh so yoo sink my movie ees sheet? I challenge yoo to a boxing match."
Bay of course is just going to laugh at this, and if he's smart he won't even issue a reply. A reply, yes or no, would just give Boll some more screen time and some media minutes.
TheHuntIsOn @ Apr 27th 2008 1:05PM
I've seen 10 year old independent game devs more mature than him! They have to wear fake beards to be taken seriously.
"soft soft soft, twiple velvet"
RoboChamp @ Apr 27th 2008 12:12PM
Wow. I guess when you have no talent, no prospects or respect from others, all you can do is kick and scream about it. This is really childish. Gaming may not be as mature as movies, but at least we don't have producers calling each other out to boxing matches over disputes equivalent to that of an internet forum.
Noshino @ Apr 27th 2008 3:38PM
...uh....have you ever heard of Itagaki?....
Zsavior @ Apr 27th 2008 12:13PM
Hmmm the medical Term for Uwe Boll's dementia is called fruitfuckingloops batshitcrazyits. Many self centered ass cocks like him suffer from it. I mean he obviously isn't in his right mind if he believes anybody who disagrees with him can be stopped by pummeling them in the ring.
As for Transformers I warned every friend I knew that the real movie name was the Adventures of Spike none would believe. To thwart my warnings that crafty bastard got around them by changing Shia Lebeof name to Sam in the movie and nobody listened. As the movie raped their eyes, I heard my friends painful screams but there was nothing I could do for them. Micheal Bay is a serial Corneal Rapist and should be stopped and charged, of course his acts aren't a crime yet but some day they will be.
Till that day don't look at his movies, not even commercials for his movies just advert your eyes till they are done. Less you be wanting serious retina, and cornea abrasion and damage from the most vicious, and violent skull fucking that is usually only found in snuff films, and maximum security penitentiaries. You have been warned!
horngreen @ Apr 27th 2008 12:14PM
whoever said up top that "at least Bays movies are watchable" is an idiot and I challenge him to a boxing match. We can open up for the BAY-BOLL BATTLE. I'd like to see Boll say "I MUST BREAK YOU" to Bay that I might give a plugged nickel for. Without this kind of crap what is the point of the NET? We need this, Boll needs this and Bay needs a beating.
Misfit Toy @ Apr 27th 2008 12:15PM
Michael Bay's last movie that I saw was Transformers, and I thought that was actually pretty good. Looked and sounded great on HD DVD...my sadly dead format of the forgotten realm. Luckily I have my Blu-ray player that sometimes substitutes as a game machine to make up for it...
As for Uwe, the guy will look for anything to get headlines...even beating up Hollywood directors. This man knows no bounds.
Now, Uwe Boll vs. Jack Thompson. I'd pay money for that. Like a dollar.
Schmobu @ Apr 27th 2008 4:51PM
I'll second that notion.
Erik @ Apr 27th 2008 1:55PM
I would love to see these two idiots knock each other out.