Zero Punctuation enjoys Grand Theft Auto-rotica
Zero Punctuation takes on Grand Theft Auto IV this week, but if you're one of the five people who didn't buy the game and are hoping for some ZP hate-fest on par with the Super Smash Bros. Brawl review ... then you have another thing coming. Yahtzee doesn't exactly suck GTA IV's "thumb" -- like he does Valve's -- but the issues he grasps onto are relatively minor points about getting lost in the side stuff. Not really full of his trademark, hyperbolic bile then. Shockingly, he even says that after finishing the review, he went back and played the game some more. It appears Niko Bellic has found a friend in Yahtzee.
Find this week's NSFW relative non-hate review of GTA IV after the break.
Find this week's NSFW relative non-hate review of GTA IV after the break.






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Reader Comments (Page 1 of 2)
spoo @ May 14th 2008 4:50PM
Zzzzz
NoHitHair @ May 14th 2008 5:00PM
You know, I watched my first Zero Punctuation today and...
I'm not impressed. At all.
For all the hype it continues to soak up, it certainly is disappointing.
Yourself @ May 14th 2008 5:12PM
If you go back and watch some of the older ones, like BioShock and Heavenly Sword, you might understand where the hype came from. Those were (IMO) pretty hilarious. These days he just does more of a "how many times can I curse and how many people can I piss off" thing.
giantenemycrab @ May 14th 2008 5:38PM
Actually, I think the problem is that people are wanting him to do reviews of awesome games(like GTA and CoD) which, honestly, have very few flaws. The best part of Zero Punctuation is him tearing a game apart, but it's difficult for him to do when the game is so good.
Wild Pegasus @ May 17th 2008 1:09PM
I was expecting a comment on little Jacobs understandability, maybe he avoided because of the 'Racial' controversy last week hmm....
Poisoned Al @ May 14th 2008 8:32PM
Way to miss the joke. You're not meant to understand Little Jacob... at first.
It's a little scary that you can after awhile.
Tyler @ May 14th 2008 4:53PM
I agree with him on most of his points, but I find if he isn't hating he isn't nearly as funny either.
Ken Shammy @ May 14th 2008 5:33PM
This.
Problem is people want him to constantly hate on games,aaand that just isn't possible. Y'all just have to accept that he'll have a couple low points in his 'reviewing career.'
Bouille @ May 15th 2008 1:05AM
That's why is SSBB fanboy review was the fking BEST!
Dave @ May 14th 2008 4:55PM
Why would you fault a game for additional functionality that is purely optional?
I've been playing Bioshock this week, and I must say that the PS3 controller is far superior than the Xbox360's, even if you factor in the less than stellar R2 and L2 triggers.
Markez (MKWii 4339-2878-5120) @ May 14th 2008 4:58PM
The which controller is better argument is a bitterly contested one. But guess what you're very, very wrong. You friggin fanboy noob, this is clearly the best controller for a game system;
http://www.axess.com/twilight/console/detail/intv.html
AoE @ May 14th 2008 5:11PM
Wow, really? I thought it was all a matter of personal preference... I can't stand those rounded triggers and mushy thumbsticks personally...
robert @ May 14th 2008 5:39PM
actually the best controller is right here.
http://www.tweakers.net/ext/i.dsp/1033581031.jpg
even if you just play pong with it you have an epic experience.
Co @ May 14th 2008 6:06PM
lol @ robert. Man how bout that TV it's on??
syrik zero @ May 14th 2008 4:56PM
Awesome! Remains my favorite reviewer
tmacairjordan87 @ May 14th 2008 4:56PM
Well who would have thought that a video on a game he loved would be boring?
Loved that knock on mario kart wii at the very very end. This time NDF don't bother spamming his inbox with requests to review it cause he put like 8 never evers up there...which is serious business apparently.
Cesaria (MKW:2621-2994-1376) @ May 14th 2008 5:10PM
I bet you get a hard on every time you see Nintendo hate, don't you? And you complain about positive fanboys...
Cesaria (MKW:2621-2994-1376) @ May 14th 2008 5:12PM
I bet you get a hard on every time you see Nintendo hate, don't you? And you complain about positive fanboys...give it a rest.
Cesaria (MKW:2621-2994-1376) @ May 14th 2008 5:13PM
I bet you get a hard on every time you see Nintendo hate, don't you? And you complain about positive fanboys...give it a rest....
By the way, great job, Joystiq comments. This is my third try, we'll see what happens.
Fernando Rocker @ May 14th 2008 5:22PM
"Loved that knock on mario kart wii..."
Yeah, very funny =)
I also liked the part where he say: "Avoid the --- version"
=p
Markez (MKWii 4339-2878-5120) @ May 14th 2008 4:56PM
I didn't actually know you needed to keep up the the friendships, otherwise you get bad mojo or something? Didn't quite follow that, and I haven't noticed it in the game as of yet..
Me breda gwan make nother gud revuw, seen
Cesaria (MKW:2621-2994-1376) @ May 14th 2008 5:11PM
Uh, that was meant for tmac...but while we're on the subject, do you?
Fernando Rocker @ May 14th 2008 5:14PM
There's something with the reply system today...
The Cesaria posts are all very wrong, but it's not his fault... just look the time.
AoE @ May 14th 2008 5:15PM
keeping up friendships gets you bonuses, Roman can supply free cabs, Jacob guns, etc. etc. But they don't seem to have any impact on the main storyline (aside from perhaps making things a bit easier)
Markez (MKWii 4339-2878-5120) @ May 14th 2008 5:17PM
Cesaria - No, I don't. Droops like a frightened little turtle.
Odog4ever @ May 14th 2008 6:07PM
You keep up with relationships if you want to unlock your friend's special abilities (and achievements)
So if you want free cab rides, cheap weapons, car bombs, 2 gun toting "pet goons", helicopter rides, instant health boost, and the ability to clear your wanted level (with out cheating), then you have the option to keep your friends very happy.
I'm just glad you can accept dates and then call back to cancel with little to no damage to your like ratings.
tmacairjordan87 @ May 14th 2008 8:25PM
Despite it appearing on here, my inbox was still spammed by your triple message cesaria lol.
And fernando I could care less about the ps3 version, I'm playing the 360 :D
tc @ May 14th 2008 5:01PM
mark of a good reviewer - he can actually praise something when he's expected to destroy it...and still do it with humour!
Hala Madrid!! @ May 14th 2008 5:04PM
There is a lot of flame bait in this video i'm not gonna say what it is but just cuz i don't wanna star a flame here but is there alright.
Yahtzee did it again.:)
Now you can star sending your hate mail.
Fernando Rocker @ May 14th 2008 5:07PM
I know what it's the flame bait.. it's something about a particular console, right?
=p
Hala Madrid!! @ May 14th 2008 5:18PM
I dunno, I think it starts with P and it ends with that number after 2.
t_m @ May 15th 2008 6:37AM
there wasn't any flamebait. Look at joystiq if you want to see impressive skill at inserting comment-generating flamebait into every post.
If you are honest, and criticize everything equally based on merit, its not flamebait.
Hala Madrid!! @ May 14th 2008 5:05PM
*start
Maverick Saturn @ May 14th 2008 5:05PM
Just doing what he does best. Well done :) Expected something worse, dunno why though, GTA4 is just pure 10s across.
tc @ May 14th 2008 5:09PM
heres your medal fernando, i hope it protects you when the flaming ps3s and xboxs start a-flying!
tc @ May 14th 2008 5:10PM
rassim, frassim, was meant to be a reply to the emerging hala-madrid + fernando flame bait thread of stupidity
tc @ May 14th 2008 5:10PM
RRARRRRG, fudge you joystiq reply system. i'm having to make up words to describe my frustration!
Noxat @ May 14th 2008 5:11PM
Great review, I agree with most of it. Trying to keep friends with everyone was a pain in the ass, but some of the shows were funny and the drunk driving is hilarious, especially when a drunken argument ensues on the drive back. The TV was lame until I sat and watched a bit of it with a friend while we were bored, some of the skits and commercials had us laughing our asses off.
browntown @ May 14th 2008 5:11PM
I disagree with his ps3 comments, i find the sixaxis to be a great controller, the triggers are a bit weird but fine for me, and the motion controls can be turned off. THough why would u need motion controls in this game to begin with, they need to not use it at all or find better uses for it, like shaking it to get up off the floor faster or something like that. I do not agree with him about the realism part, ive tried the past gta's, and i did not enjoy them at all, gta4 is just amazing. The driving is really weird, anyone over a curb and just go flying?
GaryM @ May 14th 2008 5:12PM
He's not a reviewer; he's a comedian.
A comedian with a worn-out schtick.
AoE @ May 14th 2008 5:17PM
not that worn out considering how many hits he gets each review.
ogvor @ May 14th 2008 11:05PM
You sound an awful lot like the Super Smash Bros. fanboys who's mail he had in a video last week. Their aren't any restrictions to who is a "reviewer" and whose not: you don't have to give out scores or like the same games as everyone else. All you do have to do is give out an opinion, one which not everyone, including you hase to agree with.
blkhwk67t @ May 14th 2008 5:18PM
At times his reviews can be pretty funny and witty but most of the time it's the same old dry humor and whining .
Mutant @ May 14th 2008 5:20PM
I would like him to review Mario Kart cus it would be so vicious. Anyway he needs to review something he really doesn't like so he can get that bile flowing again.
Jaklar @ May 14th 2008 5:39PM
10 Things That Suck About GTA IV.
http://www.infoaddict.com/post/title/10-things-that-suck-about-grand-theft-auto-iv/index.html
TheHuntIsOn @ May 14th 2008 5:41PM
As brilliant as ever!
And thanks Yahztee I won't buy it on the PS3 then :)
SpekOpz @ May 14th 2008 5:49PM
Good review, I dont know how people can find something that's five minutes long boring, but I guess thats their problem.
Ethan @ May 14th 2008 6:08PM
British Rail no longer exists. Although Australia does seem like a time-warp to the 90's sometimes.
Sean @ May 14th 2008 6:14PM
TREEEEEES
and I wish roman would stop calling me. "I don't like you, I don't want to hang out.. and tell brucie that I'm sick of his overcompensating 'I like girls' schtick, it's not fooling anyone"
Shmil @ May 15th 2008 12:14AM
Sean you're just not genetically better than anyone, that's why you hate your cousin and Brucie. You're not a winner. You're just a loser.