The Ultimate Pokemon Showdown of Ultimate Destiny

Do you want to be the very best, like no one ever was? Do you (whatever all the other stuff in the song is)? Nintendo wants you to compete against a bunch of kids in the Pokémon Video Game Showdown 2008 event, a massive Pokémon Diamond/Pearl tournament comprising 32 players each from the U.S. and Japan.

Before you get to Orlando for Video Armageddon the finals, you must first qualify at a tournament in LA or New York City. And before you can get there, you have to pass a Pokémon Video Game Showdown quiz on the official website.

To keep it from really being you vs. a bunch of kids, there are two age categories: one for people born in 1996 or later, and one for people born in 1995 or earlier. So you'd end up competing with -- oh, a bunch of 13-year-olds. There's no way to avoid it; if you want to be a Pokémon Master, you're going to have to make some kids cry.