Zero Punctuation pops old Painkiller for fun

by Alexander Sliwinski { May 22nd 2008 at 1:00AM }

Zero Punctuation's Yahtzee rocks it old school this week in a trip down "kill everything you see" lane with a review of Painkiller. Way back in 2004, which if internet time is converted to normal time is circa 1674, Painkiller received better-than-average reviews by embracing the first-person shooter genre like it was the '90s and Doom was still en vogue. So, this week Yahtzee talks about the game "where you kill tons of dudes" and gets comfortable for the relatively dry summer release schedule ... well, winter for him.

Find this week's NSFW ZP review of a game featuring a gun that shoots shuriken and lightning after the break.

Tags: escapist, painkiller, yahtzee, zero-punctuation, zeropunctuation

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Reader Comments (Page 1 of 2)

Sir Fidlious Wong (Justin T. McElroy Memorial Burn of the Day Award) @ May 22nd 2008 1:10AM

It's good to know I'm not the only one who enjoyed the hell out of this game....

BananaBoat @ May 22nd 2008 2:10AM

Every game should have a Shuriken and Lightning Gun. No exceptions.

Sir Fidlious Wong (Justin T. McElroy Memorial Burn of the Day Award) @ May 22nd 2008 7:54AM

I liked the rip wire, personally. And the stake gun...

ExMcloud @ May 22nd 2008 7:56AM

I cant believe I'm agreeing with wong here...But that game was F***ing awesome!

Sir Fidlious Wong (Justin T. McElroy Memorial Burn of the Day Award) @ May 22nd 2008 9:55AM

True story, I picked up my copy for $5 on clearance. And I really felt bad for buying it so cheap so I bought a second copy during it's repackage to give to a friend....

GenBanks @ May 22nd 2008 12:38PM

Just bought the game on steam :) Looking forward to trying it out.

Vegnagun bwf @ May 22nd 2008 1:12AM

Yahtzee is slacking off. They've been getting less clever. Hopefully he steps up his game next week.

ScottyGEE @ May 22nd 2008 2:08AM

I actually thought this one was very funny. Much funnier than GTA's.

Haze next? >_>

Demaar @ May 22nd 2008 6:25AM

He's less funny when he actually likes the game, that's the problem.

Korova @ May 22nd 2008 8:17AM

I was laughing so hard I couldnt hear him talk and I think I lost consciousness there for a second because when I came to I thought I skipped to review of a different game.

marauder800 @ May 22nd 2008 8:55AM

I thought this was one of the funnier episodes I had seen in a while.

äsdf @ May 22nd 2008 9:30AM

http://www.steampowered.com/v/index.php?area=app&AppId=3200&cc=US

Ten dollars off Steam and it comes with the expansion. Completely fucking worth it. Demo is also there if you want to taste it.

äsdf @ May 22nd 2008 9:32AM

Whoops, didn't mean to reply...

Vegnagun bwf @ May 22nd 2008 12:08PM

I just haven't found him that funny any more.

GenBanks @ May 22nd 2008 12:29PM

I think he says that he did this one ages ago, there just hasn't been a gap in which he could post it because for the past few weeks more popular games have come out. So it's not him slacking off, since if he'd been slacking off this video would be different.

I think they're funnier when he picks the game... I think he's more of a PC game. ...and I found this one hillarious.

Blue_Falcon @ May 22nd 2008 1:15AM

I remember playing the demo for it way back when and enjoying it, if I recall.

I never bought it, though.

Kujel @ May 22nd 2008 1:23AM

Fucking awesome Yahtzee :D

mykie @ May 22nd 2008 1:54AM

Nothing beats popping a few painkillers for a few hours of fun.

...oh wait, this is a game?

j4r3d @ May 22nd 2008 1:55AM

HAHAHAH love this guy. Best reviewer EVER! haven't played this game in forever because my pc sucks too much... (as in can't handle the graphics.) But it is a cool game. i wish i could play it.

Poisoned Al @ May 22nd 2008 7:18AM

It can't handle a 2004 game? Sorry to be a PC snob, but is your machine made out of rocks and twigs?

fred @ May 22nd 2008 9:37AM

Mine can't either. :,(

Yami @ May 22nd 2008 12:18PM

Or its, you know, a laptop?

Santo @ May 22nd 2008 1:59AM

If he's running out of new games to review, he should just do more intro movie theaters. That was fucking hilarious.

Sir Fidlious Wong (Justin T. McElroy Memorial Burn of the Day Award) @ May 22nd 2008 7:56AM

Ironically enough, the one he did was for Painkiller....

Mike @ May 22nd 2008 11:25AM

Yeah he should definitely do more movie theaters......

...?

ugg.tryptophan @ May 22nd 2008 2:06AM

detatchable penis is an awesome song

BPM [MKWii: 2578 3585 8392] @ May 22nd 2008 3:23AM

But it is not an awesome condition to have.

Korova @ May 22nd 2008 8:20AM

+1 to Yatzee for that song.

FSK405K @ May 22nd 2008 2:13AM

Now if he would just do more Intro Sequence Theatre, I wouldn't need any other video entertainment.

FSK405K @ May 22nd 2008 2:16AM

BTW, if you've been faithfully downloading all the previous ZPs but can't do so now, simply go to your browser's cache folder (for instance, Firefox: C:\Documents and Settings\YOUR PC LOGIN NAME\Local Settings\Application Data\Mozilla\Firefox\Profiles\SOME RANDOM CHARACTERS.default\Cache) and copy the most recent 5-10MB file when you have his review downloaded and playing.

knight666 @ May 22nd 2008 4:22AM

What if you're on Linux Firefox 3-RC1? :(

(You get a video download extension and download it anyway)

Roto13 @ May 22nd 2008 2:21AM

I think I might delete my RSS feed of Zero Punctuation. I haven't found it funny in weeks.

Noshino @ May 22nd 2008 2:31AM

He still funny, its just that he seems to like this game , but Yahtzee shines when he nitpicks games that are famous or that he is somewhat forced by the crowd to review...I'm pretty sure that the MK Wii review will be hillarious

xeleion @ May 22nd 2008 3:46AM

At the end of his GTAIV review he stated that he's never going to review MKWii.

GenBanks @ May 22nd 2008 4:11AM

This one made me laugh really hard...

A Pissed-off English Gamer @ May 22nd 2008 6:20AM

No, he said that people emailing him telling him to do it strengthens his resolve. I'm confident we can break it, :-)

Vandalsdude442 @ May 22nd 2008 11:07AM

your a doofus. he is solid gold. i wished i owned his so i could have all that solid gold

Roto13 @ May 22nd 2008 11:09AM

Name calling. Fangasmic. If you're his target audience, it's probably a good thing I don't find him funny any more.

DangerMouse @ May 22nd 2008 2:25AM

Sheruhkens and Lahghtnehhhhhhng!!!

aMac @ May 22nd 2008 9:41AM

very very frightening

ManicBomber @ May 22nd 2008 3:22AM

Yeah we get it you and a whole flock of idiots didn't like Halo, is it possible to do an episode without a jab at Halo?

BPM [MKWii: 2578 3585 8392] @ May 22nd 2008 3:24AM

No, it's not possible.

GenBanks @ May 22nd 2008 4:09AM

How the hell can you actually get so pissed off that someone doesn't like halo and talks about it that you write a note complaining about it? o.0 It's not going to change anyone's mind...

Vandalsdude442 @ May 22nd 2008 11:08AM

the only good halo was the first, the others were just crappy clones of it with better graphics and new guns. Wake up dude, even if the online was fun, that doesn't make it a good game.

ManicBomber @ May 22nd 2008 11:17AM

You guys are hilarious voting me down for stating a very obvious problem with these videos. Honestly he takes a jab at Halo in like five or six of these episodes, and really that's alot when you consider how many episodes there are. It's stale, and it's tiresome that he keeps harping on it.

Grimble Crumble @ May 22nd 2008 11:48AM

Could it possibly be that Halo is the most over-hyped piece of trash game to come out in the last ten years? The first one was decent...in 2001. Even then, its multiplayer (supposed to be the best part of the game) couldn't touch Quake 3, UT or TFC.

ManicBomber @ May 22nd 2008 11:56AM

More stupid people replying - here let me help you out with that 2001 perspective you are struggling with. In 2001 there were no FPS on console and Halo was being compared to Perfect Dark and Golden Eye (for the N64), because honestly it was a pretty small market.

So small in fact that FPS for console were labeled "action" for genre, because they didn't want to bother giving the few games that existed their own tag.

That game, which had the best multiplayer for a console FPS (I'm glad that you can compare apples to oranges by naming three PC fps games) and it was so "over hyped" that Halo managed to single handedly bring FPS to the console - and now PC is relegated to "The Sims (insert number or expansion here)" and "MMORPG Flavor of the year".

GenBanks @ May 22nd 2008 12:15PM

The point isn't whether Halo is good or not, that's up to you to decide. I just don't see how you can get all offended that ZP makes fun of the game... It's not meant to be taken personally, it's a joke... about a GAME. Not you or your tastes!

Mutant @ May 22nd 2008 12:54PM

Actually Genbanks its a direct insult directed at ManicBomber. Yahtzee is calling into question ManicBomber's entire value system and even his entire life.

Defend yourself ManicBomber, I'm sure that will put Yahtzee in his place.

ManicBomber @ May 22nd 2008 1:14PM

How could you get so offended by a post pointing out the obvious fact that he takes entirely way too many jabs at Halo and have to post about it? Am I questioning your entire belief structure that you have to defend Yahtzee? Do you need to ride on his nuts?

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