ESRB rates 'The Last Guy' for PS3

by Ludwig Kietzmann { Jun 3rd 2008 at 6:55PM }

The Entertainment Software Ratings Board has rated a previously trademarked, but still largely nebulous PlayStation 3 title called, "The Last Guy." Needless to say, we know more about the behavior and diet of the Narwhal than we know about this E10+ game -- and even then, we just had to look Narwhal up on Wikipedia. Apparently it's some sort of fish thing?

We've requested comment from the folks at Sony, but in lieu of an actual answer, let's consider the most likely (and gratuitously fabricated) explanations:

The Last Guy (being the ultimate next-gen card game): Hook up the PlayStation Eye camera and throw down some cards with three of your mates. Match up numbers, colors and shapes as you attempt to keep your cards for as long as possible. Don't forget to shout, "Last Guy!" when you're the final card holder, or everything is forfeit. "I win!" "No way dude, you didn't say 'Last Guy!' Pick up 47 clubs!"
The Last Guy (being the ultimate next-gen survival-horror): Following a cataclysmic scientific accident involving an egg whisk and inter-dimensional clumsiness, you find yourself to be last guy on Earth. Arming yourself with shovels, pickets, heavy brass doorknobs and whatever else you can find, you embark on a journey fraught with peril and mutated humans who are clearly not guys.
The Last Guy (being the ultimate next-gen castle sim): As the last guy, it's up to you to foil the hero before he beats the entire game. Obstruct the moat with robot crocodiles, instruct your mindless minions and construct the most elaborate (but still homey) deathtrap in the neighborhood. Spinning columns of searing fire? Yes! Unexpectedly placed bottomless pits? Certainly! A barely supportive rope bridge with an axe conveniently located right behind you? Hey, we can't play the game for you!

[Pictured: The last guy in Final Fantasy VII.]

Tags: ESRB, Narwhal, PS3, PSN, SCEA, Sony, The-Last-Guy

Reader Comments (Page 1 of 1)

Talryyn @ Jun 3rd 2008 7:02PM

You had me at castle, but you lost me at card game.

Jhongerkong @ Jun 3rd 2008 7:05PM

Women have flipped out and killed every guy except for you,

Are you a bad enough dude to stop the feminists?

HighFiveJesus @ Jun 3rd 2008 7:16PM

sub mission : Are you a bad enough dude to have sex with some of them?

Lars @ Jun 3rd 2008 7:36PM

That's along the lines of what I was thinking.

The Last Guy (being the next Leisure Suit Larry):
A pandemic wiped out all the men on earth except one... Will you be man enough to face billions of suddenly single women in an attempt to repopulate the earth and save humanity?

jimbob @ Jun 3rd 2008 7:08PM

Horror games are all the same, but given the title... my money is on that one.

http://www.weezerjonas.com/CDA5240F87574D8387EBDE8FEC733210/tracklink.asp?guid=9338E08DB4AC447A9F28C553C5A3D6B2

Double J @ Jun 3rd 2008 7:09PM

It's the newest ultimate Party game from the creators of The Guy Game.

tmacairjordan87 @ Jun 3rd 2008 7:10PM

Less card games and playstation eye games, more AAA real games please.

Seriously it seems like every fucking week another playstation eye game comes out on the psn. How about stop supporting something almost no one has and put some ps1 games up there which everyone has access to.

tmacairjordan87 @ Jun 3rd 2008 7:24PM

After re-reading the article once my rage died down, I realized it was only a scenario.

Seriously though...enough eyetoy and card games sony.

Kite @ Jun 4th 2008 8:14PM

"After re-reading the article"

I believe you mean after "actually reading the article" instead.

Cesaria (MKW:2621-2994-1376) @ Jun 3rd 2008 7:12PM

Narwhal FTW! Seriously, I want one. Imagine a "Beware of Narwhal" sign. Nothing can top that.

Dustin @ Jun 3rd 2008 7:14PM

Good god, Luwig... as much as I love your rediculously intricate vocabulary, sometimes I think that all those Lucasarts adventure games have serious fried a large portion of your brain.

"Obstruct the moat with robot crocodiles, instruct your mindless minions and construct the most elaborate (but still homey) deathtrap in the neighborhood."

^ That made my day. Also, I'd like to point out that even with the title being "ESRB Rates..", we have to click the read link to find out the actual rating.
We readers are lazy! You know this!