Zero Punctuation not lovin' Oblivion

by Alexander Sliwinski { Jun 4th 2008 at 7:00PM }

To refill his rage this week, Zero Punctuation's Yahtzee took a trip back to the simpler time of 2006 and grabbed a copy of The Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion off the new release shelf. Being a Western RPG, instead of a JRPG, the game actually stood a small chance of stealing Yahtzee's artificial heart. Of course, the problems with the voice acting and immersion that plagued the game when it first released haven't aged well. Yahtzee obviously takes the opportunity to jam a lead pipe into Oblivion and hoover out every last bit of hate he can.

Find this week's NSFW ZP review of the game where Patrick Stewart plays the emperor for about 10 minutes after the break.

Tags: bethesda-softworks, escapist, oblivion, yahtzee, zero-punctuation, zeropunctuation

Reader Comments (Page 1 of 3)

Fernando Rocker @ Jun 4th 2008 7:07PM

I really don't want to say something bad (I know Yahtzee has a lot of fans here in Joystiq).

But he is not very funny anymore... just my opinion.

*I know I will be voted down to "oblivion"

eNrique @ Jun 4th 2008 9:47PM

you suck

Poisoned Al @ Jun 4th 2008 7:12PM

Actually, I fond that one the funniest for a while, proving the fact in my mind that everything you say is crap.

Fernando Rocker @ Jun 4th 2008 7:15PM

Reall, I don't know why I need to be attacked, to my person, when I never attack any of you.

Mr Khan @ Jun 4th 2008 7:18PM

Didn't you threaten to kick JSN's ass, in person, if you ever met him, once?

Poisoned Al @ Jun 4th 2008 7:19PM

Well you bombard us with stupid. It's like a blitzkrieg of dumb every time you post.

GaryM @ Jun 4th 2008 7:21PM

Nearly all of your comments start the exact same way:

- I'm not trying to be negative, but...
- I know there are a lot of fans of _____ here, but...
- Maybe it's just me, but...

Etc.

Hyams @ Jun 4th 2008 7:20PM

Fernando, you're what I like to call a 'George Bush': someone who is very easy to attack, often for little or no reason, due to the sheer inanity of many of your past actions.

Quick tip: stop bashing the PS3 at every possible opportunity and maybe people will start to take you a bit more seriously.

Fernando Rocker @ Jun 4th 2008 7:22PM

Mr Khan

After years of post here in Joystiq (since mid 2006), I had to burst. I just couldnt take it anymore. Check the thread, everyone was surprised.

But let me say it again: Yes, sometimes I have attacked people directly, but I always try to not curse, or say bad words, etc. And I always try not to bash anyone directly.

But I dont want this topic to become a Fernando topic. Last week was enough.

voodoo_craig @ Jun 4th 2008 7:24PM

Oh come on Fernando, you insult the PS3 daily, you may as well eat Kaz Hirai's baby the amount of hurt you cause him.

Fernando Rocker @ Jun 4th 2008 7:29PM

craig

Yes, I do bash the PS3, but when I do, Sony fanboys attack me.

When I see someone attacking a Nintendo system, I don't go and start bashing him.

Besides, a lot of people bash the PS3 and Sony, but only my comments are the ones that get replied.

tmacairjordan87 @ Jun 4th 2008 7:39PM

Oh shit someone link me the article where fernando wanted to kick someone's ass. I gotta see this :D

Fernando Rocker @ Jun 4th 2008 7:41PM

jordan

http://www.joystiq.com/2008/03/06/sega-hardcore-gamers-shouldnt-be-excommunicated-from-wii/#comments

goaway @ Jun 4th 2008 7:44PM

Hey Joystiq,

I know you have done it like 15 times now but can you please ban fernando rocker?

His comments are almost never on point, he adds nothing but negativity to this place.

Fernando Rocker @ Jun 4th 2008 7:48PM

Why ban me? Just because I said that I don't like Yahtzee?

I was just giving an honest opinion and you guys started to bash me.

Sir Fidlious Wong (Justin T. McElroy Memorial Burn of the Day Award) @ Jun 4th 2008 7:54PM

Wow, guys. Nothing he said here was too inflamatory. But damn you people just flock and bash. What is up with that?

ApolloIV @ Jun 4th 2008 7:55PM

Jesus if all you need to do Fernando to ignite a war against you is "I don't like Zero Puncuation" you could start a world war if you say you don't like Mega 64.

tmacairjordan87 @ Jun 4th 2008 7:59PM

ROFLMAO fernando that was awesome. I can't explain why but seeing that makes me respect you like 1000% more, and slightly wary of crossing you now.

Poisoned Al @ Jun 4th 2008 8:02PM

There are many people that need to be banned before Fernando Rocker, and most are. name123 sticks out in my mind as more annoying, but he's never hateful or racist or anything, just a 'tard. If you got banned for being stupid, the internet would a be a very quite place.

Jhongerkong @ Jun 4th 2008 8:49PM

Hate? On Joystiq?

WHAT HAPPENED TO ALL THE LOVE HERE PEOPLE?

Mr Khan @ Jun 4th 2008 9:19PM

Actually i was quite amused by that incident, and it wasn't entirely unwarranted

I was just dredging it up as circumstantial evidence

colin @ Jun 4th 2008 9:37PM

oblivion lol

Joseph @ Jun 4th 2008 9:41PM

I agree with you.

Zero Punctuation is Carlos Mencia. It tries so desperately to be funny, and fails on so many levels, but for whatever people still tune in and perpetuate the bullshit for everyone else.

If he actually played the games he reviews (which, based on SSB:B, and now Oblivion, he obviously doesn't) then he could have a sliver of merit. But in reality, it's just 5 minutes of him spewing random crap about a subject he knows nothing about, other than what he read on Gamespot.

Congrats to him on being successful though, he's like the internet Dane Cook now.

whymog @ Jun 4th 2008 9:49PM

I'm with you, Fernando. He's been pulling out games people haven't played in quite a while, and there's not much ingenuity behind the comedy anymore. The whole shtick is getting stale to me.

Korova Pyro aspect @ Jun 4th 2008 10:32PM

Fernando, you are slightly maso, arent you?

As for Yatzee, I found the last three reviews very funny. Its like he took a vacation to recharge. There was a period where he dulled up for one or two episodes, but he is back now.

I find it as refreshing as ever, since no one is still really talking about games like he does. And behind all the tits and insults, he conveys very good information.

And he is not afraid.

Christopher Exantus @ Jun 4th 2008 10:36PM

I kinda agree with you. He definitely isn't as funny as he was when he first started his reviews.

Christopher Exantus @ Jun 4th 2008 11:01PM

@Korova

Ok Stop it. I can understand if people like Yahtzee and his style of comedy. That's fine. He's not my cup of tea. But what I don't understand at all is how some people hyping are hyping this guy up as this shiny beacon in video game. It's fucking ridiculous reading some people's comments acting like he's the messiah of game reviews. Why? Because he acts like a 10 year old troll cursing and criticizing every single game that gets scores above a 90? I honestly don't understand why people worship the ground this guy walks on.

Ned @ Jun 4th 2008 11:10PM

Isn't that precisely the point? Everybody's got opinions: Fernando, Yahtzee, George Bush and the bloody Pope. If you don't agree, by all means argue, but it's not necessary to descend into petty character assassination. I don't agree with half of what Fernando says, but he's honest and forthright in his opinions. If you don't like them, don't read them, but don't say that he doesn't have a right to post them.

/rant off

BananaBoat @ Jun 4th 2008 11:27PM

Every day it's more flame bait. It'd be different if it were every week...or every month...but every single freaking day there is some flamewar you are trying to start.... just post non-flamebait things, and then put "Miyamoto is my god king, long live the Wii" at the end of your posts. It will single handedly solidify your position as Anti-anything-but-Nintendo, and it won't cause as much flaming.

Then again, if flamewars weren't the goal, would you still be doing it?

Vegnagun bwf @ Jun 4th 2008 11:51PM

No Fernando, you're right. Same thing every week. I get the point, if the game isn't exactly how he likes it then the game is bad. This is obviously regardless of that fact that people have different opinions.

Markez (MKWii 4339-2878-5120) @ Jun 5th 2008 12:57AM

@ Jordan & Fernando

THANKYOU for that link, oh gad, that was gold, Jerry, gold.

Zsavior @ Jun 5th 2008 2:35AM

1. Yea I don't find his comments to funny any more. But he is still interesting to watch.

2. If fernando attacks a system how is it less troll like to attack him rather than just picking his comments apart? Fernando attacks a company and you attack him?

A lot of people watch Yahtzee but don't understand him, not only his Nay sayers like Fernando but also his fans who most times are just hateful fanboys and enjoy watching their "enemy" company get reamed. But if you checked out the mail bag showdown a lot of you are exactly what Yahtzee hates. "Fernando attacked Sony I must insult him!".... what?

BananaBoat @ Jun 5th 2008 2:54AM

I watch to see which games he's actually going to like. Sometimes I'm surprised at the things he doesn't utterly destroy verbally.

He's right on with Oblivion BTW. I loved it alot more than he did, but the 360 version (and the PC version, but the PC version got patched) does have some show stopping bugs. The least of which is the ability for a guard to chase you until the end of time. You get outside the range where he can see you, and you are still recognized by other town guards as being a criminal they need to chase, so you can't go into any towns. I borked so many game saves that way and had to start over....annoying.

na2ru1 @ Jun 5th 2008 11:03AM

attention whore alert!

The Doctor @ Jun 5th 2008 2:17PM

You people need to lighten up.

I don't read all the comment threads, but when I do, and Fernando has posted, it's never seemed that inflamatory to me, but people just flock to the commment to bash him repeatedly.

If you really do think he's a troll, just ignore him.

WiiFTW @ Jun 4th 2008 7:10PM

He's had better.It's funny because I haven't encountered many of the glitches he has. I've found maybe one. That and I use my imagination to make it a bit more realistic.

klitorisaurus @ Jun 5th 2008 12:45AM

While I agree that he may not be 100% funny 100% of the time, he is still the funniest video game reviewer I've seen, especially in the video medium. The problem is the fact that there's just not enough funny reviewers. Who doesn't love funny negative reviews? I read the lowest scored reviews in GI and EGM before the good ones because they're always the ones with some comic substance. Yahtzee is a big fish in a small pond and while he misses quite often, I still click play the minute I see a new one. On that level, he wins.

Residentevil72501 @ Jun 4th 2008 7:11PM

I thought about voting you down! BUt ya know i secretly love you! And ole yahtzee hasnt had anything decent in the past month or so, so im not gunna vote you down im going to agree with you!

Poisoned Al @ Jun 4th 2008 7:12PM

Stop right there criminal scum!
Stop right there criminal scum!
Stop right there criminal scum!
Stop right there criminal scum!
etc

Mr.ESC @ Jun 4th 2008 7:17PM

THE BEST THE BEST THE BEST THE BEST
THE BEST THE BEST THE BEST THE BEST
THE BEST THE BEST THE BEST THE BEST
THE BEST THE BEST THE BEST THE BEST
THE BEST THE BEST THE BEST THE BEST
THE BEST THE BEST THE BEST THE BEST
THE BEST THE BEST THE BEST THE BEST
THE BEST THE BEST THE BEST THE BEST

ApolloIV @ Jun 4th 2008 7:27PM

I saw a mud crab the other day
Oh yeah, nasty little creatures aren't they
Yeah
STOP TALKING.

Also Mr.Esc is win

Vegnagun bwf @ Jun 4th 2008 11:54PM

The Best is the cancer that is killing this thread.

chez @ Jun 4th 2008 7:16PM

So true. I wanted to get into this game. I tried the 360 version before giving up on the controller and pleased myself on the PC version. But after a few hours it just grew too repetitive and everything else Yahtzee said.
I'll try it again in a few years maybe.

el serpiente @ Jun 4th 2008 7:42PM

You pleased yourself on the PC version?

...

Poisoned Al @ Jun 4th 2008 8:05PM

What, you didn't find those elf girls hot? ...

I'll get my coat.

Hyams @ Jun 4th 2008 8:47PM

Only the PC version has nude mods.

johnny 45 @ Jun 4th 2008 7:16PM

I never got the idea that Yahtzee was ever trying to be funny.

I often disagree with him, but he's right here. Oblivion is a fairly awful patch work of things.

Adam @ Jun 4th 2008 7:17PM

This was his best in a while, but yeah he has been on something of a slump. He's a great writer and has genuinely valid points, but he's lost some of his edge as of late. It's understandable, as I would even find it tough to stay on top of my game every week.

Also, at the end of the video he states he really did like Oblivion, although the tone of his video suggested otherwise for the most part.