The Onion investigates Liberty City cops' incompetence
by Justin McElroy 
{ Jun 9th 2008 at 10:30AM }
It's even threatening to drive some people out of town! "Sure, we have excellent radio stations and an incredible range of things to see and do here," public defender Kiki Jenkins says. "But if I were younger, I'd move to Mario World in a second." We hear you Kiki, we hear you.
[Thanks to everyone who sent this in.]
Reader Comments (Page 1 of 1)
syrik zero @ Jun 9th 2008 10:33AM
This is why I love JoyStiq. When there is nothing to post they post these awesome bits =D
baby sea tuna @ Jun 9th 2008 10:35AM
Holy crap, I can just save to clear my wanted level?! I wish I'd known that some 50 hours ago!
SoCoolCurt (PSN: KillaKornbread) @ Jun 9th 2008 10:59AM
lol its like that in every GTA game. i always get scared they will take it out though in newer games. i really helps when you get up around 4+ stars.
Korova *Pyro aspect* @ Jun 9th 2008 12:16PM
That's why they are called Safe Houses.
It is a bit artificial, but so is everything else in GTA, a little.
Farseer (GDI) @ Jun 9th 2008 10:38AM
I read and passed this around last week. God I love The Onion.
voodoo_craig @ Jun 9th 2008 10:39AM
"I was buying a hot dog from a street vendor in Hove Beach yesterday when I saw someone run a red light, barrel down the sidewalk, careen into a garbage truck, exit his vehicle, steal a nearby convertible, and drive away,"
Guilty....but it was worth it for that Feltzer!
Obie @ Jun 9th 2008 10:40AM
I love the Onion, they always nail it just right.
=DeadlyViNYL= @ Jun 9th 2008 10:48AM
Classic.
Chase @ Jun 9th 2008 10:48AM
Ludwig's lion cubs or Justin's McNugget Kids: whose offspring do I most want to bear?
I'm going to need some time to think, boys.
*gets tipsy, winds up impregnated with Chris's Horace Grants*
NOOOOOOOOO x'[
baby sea tuna @ Jun 9th 2008 10:58AM
This is the best Onion video-game-related article since: http://www.theonion.com/content/node/28288
DiscoGhost @ Jun 9th 2008 11:18AM
to all who said "I love the onion" etc. you may also love Sarcastic Gamer. They wrote nearly the same article about a month ago:
http://sarcasticgamer.com/wp/index.php/2008/05/liberty-city-pd-on-strike.html
kataztrophy @ Jun 9th 2008 12:17PM
No idea is original(especially the the obvious ones like this). GTA cops have always been a bunch of scrubs. Why are people only taking notice of it now?
Gaucho @ Jun 9th 2008 11:26AM
wow, you guys are late on this. This came out last week.
Justin McElroy @ Jun 9th 2008 11:52AM
And when breaking news like this drops, it's key to get it out as quickly as possible.
mr mobius @ Jun 9th 2008 12:14PM
Not know that even the internet in South Africa has a time delay. Thats why Justin took as long. He just replied to your comment pre-emptively since there is always a comment like this on this type of article.
Korova *Pyro aspect* @ Jun 9th 2008 12:19PM
Justin,
You broke my sarcasm meter. Now what am I gonna do?
teenagertc @ Jun 9th 2008 11:31AM
The Onion > NY Post & NY Daily News
Gaucho @ Jun 9th 2008 11:43AM
& the onion > NY times
Mutant @ Jun 11th 2008 7:25PM
That was the first Onion article in a while that I read all the way to the end. They usually have a great headline and first paragraph but then they just keep on and on with the same joke.
This one was gold all the way through.
Geoffrey Sperl @ Jun 9th 2008 12:36PM
Ahhhh... Kiki. The best of the girlfriends in the game. I don't know how many times I've had her clear my wanted levels...
Can't see her moving to the Mushroom Kingdom, though. But I could see her defending Bowser in court...
Judd @ Jun 9th 2008 2:20PM
Yea, it's Mushroom Kingdom, not Mario World.
Besides that, the article was pretty spot on.
Psaakyrn @ Jun 9th 2008 1:34PM
That's kinda the point: ANYWHERE's better than Liberty City.
Though granted they do have awesome kart races there.
Playboy X - PSN: ummfada @ Jun 9th 2008 3:01PM
lol, at Montel in the picture (the cop)
http://www.tvboyfriends.com/wp-content/uploads/2007/10/windowslivewritermontelwilliams.ilovethisman-f026montel1.jpg