All right, this is the last straw. We in the greater video game industry have watched silently while you claimed you just "didn't have the rhythm" for Dance Dance Revolution
. We bit our tongues when you said that Wii Fit
was "just a fad." Well, say goodbye to Mr. Nice Industry. We're tired of tip-toeing around your feelings. You have to get fit, and we're issuing a fitness ultimatum to make sure that you do! Jillian Michaels' Fitness Ultimatum 2009
, to be exact.
We're sorry it's come to this ... we really are ... but if a Majesco-published game featuring fitness celebrity Jillian Michaels
and Wii Balance Board support is what it takes to break you out of your cycle of unfit living, then damn it, we're willing to release that game in time for the upcoming holiday season. Let's be perfectly clear though ... this 'ultimatum' truly is our last warning that you need to get fit using a video game. If you let this opportunity pass you by, that's it, we're done, you're on your own. Good luck getting fit without the video game industry's help if you drop the ball this time!
Aw, who are we kidding? When you get tired of this game we'll try again with another gimmicky fitness simulator. Who could say no to that precious disposable income? Here, have another Halo 3 Mountain Dew