Zero Punctuation makes war, not love with Haze
by Alexander Sliwinski 
{ Jun 21st 2008 at 2:00AM }
OK, we have a situation. Yahtzee's latest Zero Punctuation piece couldn't knock one out of the park with such a simple target like Haze. Even standard reviews did a good job roasting it. The curmudgeon expat still trashes the game, but it's like he received a Nectar injection and was fighting the effects as he put together the review ... seriously, we're talking about the game that can already be found for $40. We're hoping this week's review is merely a hiccup and that Haze will finally sink in on Yahtzee, making him go ballistic next week.
Due to technical difficulties we are unable to post ZP after the break. Please click the image above to see this week's episode.
Due to technical difficulties we are unable to post ZP after the break. Please click the image above to see this week's episode.
Reader Comments (Page 1 of 1)
Einhanderkiller @ Jun 21st 2008 2:14AM
Why so late?
Joystiq usually puts up a post on Zero Punctuation the day the video is released.
Lord Bowser @ Jun 21st 2008 6:49AM
It's late beacuse the review is not funny. People have been saying for several weeks that his best work is already behind him; Sliwinski even alludes to it in the blog post. It was not funny. In fact, the decreasing amount of comments on each Zero Punctuation article shows a diminishing interest from the Joystiq readership.
t_m @ Jun 21st 2008 10:07AM
People have been saying since the first review that his best work is behind him. Thats because people are idiots.
IN the same threads people have also been saying "he's back on form this week" and "last week was much funnier" and "much funnier than last week" and lots of other contradictory comments.
Basically people like to bitch...
t_m @ Jun 21st 2008 10:08AM
People have been saying since the first review that his best work is behind him. Thats because people are idiots.
IN the same threads people have also been saying "he's back on form this week" and "last week was much funnier" and "much funnier than last week" and lots of other contradictory comments.
Basically people like to bitch...
t_m @ Jun 21st 2008 10:09AM
in my defence, that honestly took over 3 minutes to post, so i posted it again.
(and I know the first one was funnier... i guess my best work was behind me...)
Anticrawl @ Jun 21st 2008 5:44PM
I found it pretty entertaining. But then again I have a mind of my own.
BananaBoat @ Jun 22nd 2008 3:22AM
It's not his worst work necessarily, but you'd think he'd have been a bit angrier during the review, seeing as how the game is...well....freaking horrible. On a basic "Is the gunplay mechanic good" level it fails (injecting crap so you can make the enemies glow? Fine. Enemies being nearly invisible when you aren't juicing? failsandwhich).
I don't think he's anywhere close to finished though...he's got alot of comedy left in him.
Tiptup300 @ Jun 21st 2008 2:57AM
His new video system sucks.
Link408 @ Jun 21st 2008 4:07AM
maybe they got tired of his crappy reviews
Markez (MKWii 4339-2878-5120) @ Jun 21st 2008 4:57AM
I second that motion. Prepare to be voted down by "he got it right again!" morons. Shtick is tired.
HighFiveJesus @ Jun 21st 2008 4:21AM
i for one haven't well, seen it yet. but eh it was somethin ok.
cg @ Jun 21st 2008 4:28AM
Yep, HAZE is garbage! We all know that... But I think Zero Punctuation is even worse garbage. The joke has wore very, very thin and has got very old and boring. Please make it stop. Cant take the smug, self- satisfied attention whore any more. It is over long time.
RobLink (Return of the McElroy Defence Force) @ Jun 21st 2008 5:00AM
So don't watch him any more.....
A Pissed-off English Gamer @ Jun 21st 2008 1:55PM
No one forces you to watch it; the fact is i watch it for an opinion i usually find, at some level, is quite accurate. Not just that, he gets across the feelings for a game in a very concise way.
Let's face it, guys; you don't read a review and say "Well, it's not as good as their last one..." And doing so for ZP videoes strikes just as stupidly as that would sound. They're reviews, for fuck's sake; they're informative as well as entertainig.
RobLink (Return of the McElroy Defence Force) @ Jun 21st 2008 4:59AM
Come on guys, if you know when it comes out each week, and you know where to go, you've presumably already seen it? So what does it matter if the 'stiquers don't post it on the day? Doesn't affect you.....
Raikage (LDF CRAB BATTLE!!!) @ Jun 21st 2008 6:47AM
I, for some reason, watched this on their website (apparently on Wednesday), so I just thought I missed the post, but I'm not going into an internet rage over it... it's not a big deal guys.
Maverick Saturn @ Jun 21st 2008 5:05AM
Meh, someone mentioned this would come up, but I didn't believe it, I assumed Yahzee highlighted the flaws of GOOD games, everyone knows Haze sucks, why reconfirm that it sucks ¬_¬ There is nothing in his recent one that told me anything new.
If he wanted to waste time before the MGS4 review, he could have tried out WOW or Gears or something, games with ACTUALL high scores.
KirbyMeister @ Jun 21st 2008 8:10AM
I thought around the time of the Brawl review that everyone was saying that he should only be reviewing bad games because that's what makes him funny, or something.
I myself found this review funny; but then again he did peak last Christmas so I guess it's just that his humor is tied to the amount of releases he can make fun of, and right now he doesn't have a lot.
Maverick Saturn @ Jun 21st 2008 5:07AM
To top that, apart from Burnout, hes never really done racing game reviews or rts reviews, why not C&C3 or Project Gotham or Forza?
Whats he gunna do next? Lair? Genji?
colin @ Jun 21st 2008 5:33AM
i haven't watched it but i bet it includes some of these ingredients: drugs, booze, hookers, scratching and or bleeding eyes, suicide, americans, weird analogies.
tc @ Jun 21st 2008 5:56AM
hilarious sectioning reference towards the end of that video. Actually...
"There will be no more sectioning today"
12 wii points to the person who identifies the quote!
Haggard @ Jun 21st 2008 6:21AM
Peep Show!
tc @ Jun 21st 2008 6:28AM
oh Haggard, i'm very impressed! This star prize is wii-nging it's way to you as we speak! Well done!
Will @ Jun 21st 2008 6:48AM
Was anyone else really bothered he put "DRUGS IS BAD"? And even said "are bad"?
LaughingTarget @ Jun 21st 2008 9:11AM
No, because he does that all the time and intentionally.
Will @ Jun 21st 2008 9:14AM
Oh, I guess I didn't notice. Oopsie.
Korova *of the highlands* @ Jun 21st 2008 8:13AM
I continue to get a chuckle out of these every time. I am not angry at him like some here (which I totally dont get - Why are you angry at him? Does he touch you in uncomfortable places?)
He was not as critical of the game as the epic H4.5E thread here on Joystiq. He made fun of it, but he was perfectly fair: if you are not playing another FPS, go buy this one.
Its probably a fine game, if you love FPS and Yatzhee LOVES FPS. That's why he does not review racing games. Also, they are surprisingly resistant to humiliation.
Ace @ Jun 22nd 2008 10:48AM
So he didn't slam the game as much as the other reviewers did?
Please, lets not start comparing the size of reviewer epeens. I'd prefer a reviewer give a game the treatment from his own perspective, not try to one up everyone else in how much he hates a generally hated game or something.
Also, he's in Australia...that excuses alot when it comes to what games he's reviewing (You all know how troublesome it is to release games there).
rodrigo @ Jun 21st 2008 10:06AM
i actually think that is pretty good except for the voices because they truely suck, ya see im working in my english grammar :)
rodrigo @ Jun 21st 2008 10:07AM
* pretty good game
LaughingTarget @ Jun 21st 2008 12:03PM
I think the venom was missions because Haze isn't a bad game. It does everything right. The problem is the entire thing is paint by numbers and is very 1999.
mr mobius @ Jun 21st 2008 1:57PM
He was on a break last week. I tipped 'stiq but they probably over looked it til I did. Not their fault too much.
ConanL @ Jun 21st 2008 2:27PM
Nice Neon Genesis reference.
rom @ Jun 21st 2008 4:57PM
I was beginning to think I was the only one that saw it.
Nice.
BPM [MKWii: 2578 3585 8392] @ Jun 21st 2008 3:00PM
I think H4.5E is at a level of mediocrity, that even Yahtzee can't get enthusiastic about ripping it to shreds.
Or perhaps, because of GoldenEye and TimeSplitters, it's hard to hate Free Radical's work TOO much.
Nithron @ Jun 21st 2008 3:41PM
I for one thing Yahtzee still rocks. You know why? Because he isn't afraid to tell everyone just how shit games really are. I get so sick and tired of gaming "journalists" just handing out 9s and 10s to any game in a major established franchise, like the company in question will shower them with free consoles for the service.
Most games are crap, and Yahtzee aint afraid to say so. In this, he's pretty much unique.
Also he's funny. That helps.
Fullmetal Salchemist @ Jun 21st 2008 4:07PM
Or maybe the game wasn't that bad, and people ripped it to shreds for no good reason? The game wasn't terrible, it was just very, very bland. It was mediocre; insipid.
Kind of like Halo.
Jacksons @ Jun 21st 2008 5:12PM
Amazing how much people bitch about something that's free, and have the choice whether or not to watch it.
I love the generalizations that can be made by looking at the number of comments on his site. Most reviews have between 1-300. The 2 SSBB related reviews, 1000+.
pratcraft @ Jun 21st 2008 6:47PM
I think zero punctuation is annoying, and there's no real point to joystiq posting a story every time theres a new one. What's next, linking to every game-related webcomic that comes out? Every new post on gamefaqs? If it's a slow news day, just post a personal opinion, don't link to stupid sites.
#28 @ Jun 21st 2008 8:34PM
Anyone else entirely pissed off by that ad for some shitty anime/live action show at the end of the video? What the hell was that, honestly??
why not the LS2LS7? @ Jun 21st 2008 9:11PM
I have no idea what it was, I didn't see it because I clicked pause and then closed the window rather than watch it.
#28 @ Jun 22nd 2008 1:05AM
I watched it once and was utterly disgusted.
Bouille @ Jun 22nd 2008 6:49PM
From my stand point, ZP is not only a caricature on video game reviews; it's also a video game review. If your expecting laugh day and night then stop watching these. What makes me come back to ZP is the fact that what he says makes sense. he's not trying to make friends with anybody he's giving his opinion on things and, up until now, I've agreed with most of his opinions.