Fanswag: Win Battlefield: Bad Company

Is it impossible to get a cup of coffee flavored coffee anymore, in this country?

-Denis Leary

Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive?

Because she's a woman.

how are a condom and a camera similar? they both capture the moment

Your dad is like an undecorated christmas tree. No balls.

This one time? I ate BOILED PEANUTS.

The boss came early in the morning one day and found his manager kissing his secretary. He shouted at him, "Is this what I pay you for?" The manager replied: "No, sir, this I do free of charge."

If a tree falls on a mime in a forest, and no one is around to see it, and the mime dies...

...do I still get cake?

How can you tell a blonde is having a bad day?

shes got a tampon behind her ear and she cant find her pencil.

What's the difference between a drunk and an alcoholic? A drunk doesn't have to go to those meetings.

hehe..why did the chicken cross teh road !?

Hey what's this smiley face ring do? Oh sh**........

"... when you don't have love, it is like there's a party going on and everybody was invited except for you ... and you just happen to walk by that house in the rain ..."

-dane cook (one of his better jokes)

I broke up with my girlfriend the other day. My friend told me that it's okay that there's other fish in the sea.

I said, I know, but it's not the smell that I miss.

Wheres the beef?

I wonder if collecting all those bars, the guys in the game take golden showers?

How come when it's us it's abortion, but when it's chickens it's an omelette?
-George Carlin

A jewish girl says to her father
"daddy, I need $100"
The dad replies
"$80?!? What the hell do you need $50 for?"

Every load could be your last...

I bought a dictionary. First thing I did was, I looked up the word "dictionary", and it said "you're an @$$hole."

Not my joke, but it's by a funny comedian.

chuck norris doesn't sleep; he waits

Why does tigger stink?

He's always playing w/ pooh!!!

I'll leave it to the man to deliver the funny jokes.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BTyzTJTNhNk

RIP Carlin

i want

ah u need a joke?

ps3.

"I have six locks on my door, all in a row. When I go out, I lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three of them."

- George Carlin

Theres a fly, a fish, bear, hunter, mouse and cat all hungry and starving. The fish is lookin at the fly saying to himself "If that fly drops 6in. I could have myself a good meal." while the fish is lookin at the fly, the bear is lookin at the fish sayin to himself "If that fly drops 6in. the fish would jump for the fly, and I could nab off with the fish as good meal." while the bears looking at the fish and the fish is looking at the fly, the hunter is looking at the bear sayin to himself "if that fly drops 6in the fish would grab the fly, the bear would nab the fish, I would drop my sandwhich and shoot the bear I could have myself a good meal." while the fish is looking at the fly, and the bear is looking at the fish, and the hunter is looking at the bear, the mouse is looking at the hunter saying to himself "If that fly drops 6in the fish would grab the fly, the bear would nab the fish, the hunter would drop his sandwhich, and shoot the bear and I could nab off with his sandwhich and I could have myself a good meal." While the fish is looking at the fly, and the bear is looking at the fish, and the hunter is looking at the bear, and the mouse is looking at the hunter, the cat is looking at the mouse thinking to himself "If that fly drops 6in the fish would grab the fly, the bear would nab the fish, the hunter would drop his sandwhich, and shoot the bear and the mouse nabs his sandwhich, I could nab the mouse and have myself a good meal. Well, the fly droped 6 in., and the fish grabed the fly, the bear nabbed the fish, the hunter droped his sandwhich, and the mouse nabbed it, and the cat went after the mouse and fell into the river.

Whats the morel of the story??

EVERYTIME A FLY DROPS 6IN. A PUSSY GETS WET!!!!

All these jokes give my cricket restless leg syndrome! HA! Beat that!

What's worst than a baby in a trash ?

=> A baby in two !!!

A pretty bloody joke :p

PASTE = YUM