Due to the conference's inabilities to meet its exuberant demands (1,000 brown M&M to fill a Brandy glass), Double Fine's Brütal Legend will not be making an appearance at next week's E3 Media and Business Summit.

Designer Tim Schafer and co-conspirator Jack Black made the announcement yesterday while floating across the River Styx on a yacht made entirely from the bodies of those whose heart stopped when LucasArts ceased making adventure games. The duo then proceeded to fly off on black motorcycles so fast that they broke the sound barrier and permanently deafened every person within a 20 mile radius, with engines that sounded like a Schecter guitar plugged into a wall of Marshall amps cranked to 12 (yes, one louder than 11).

... Okay, so that's not really how it happened. Rather, Schafer told MTV Multiplayer via email that the game wouldn't be at E3, but he hopes to discuss it soon after, "as soon as the dust settles from this whole [Activision Blizzard] merger thing." We're not surprised, of course, given Activison won't be attending E3 at all, but it sounds like the game will be missing out on the publisher's non-E3 event set for next Tuesday.