Duke Nukem Trilogy trailer redefines awesome

by Ross Miller { Jul 17th 2008 at 6:00AM }

Unfortunately, the redefinition is "something that sucks." We give credit to Apogee and 3D Realms for releasing a Duke Nukem Trilogy trailer without pre-rendered footage. In fact, it doesn't have any footage. Instead, you get flashing logos, people in gas masks, rawking metal guitar and a close-up of Duke's crotch (which we've spoiled in the image above -- and no, not this one). Educate yourself in the video, tucked safely away after the break.

[Thanks, Patrick]

Tags: duke-nukem, duke-nukem-trilogy, e3, e3-2008

Reader Comments (Page 1 of 2)

NynjaSquirrel @ Jul 17th 2008 6:07AM

Boy, does THAT suck. What on earth do they hope to achieve by releasing this?

mr mobius @ Jul 17th 2008 11:22AM

Ever seen the film 'The Producers' then?

By making the worst thing possible they are set to make more money than putting effort into a hit. Apparently Duke's studio has had this sussed for years and other companies haven't caught on yet.

meist3r @ Jul 17th 2008 11:57AM

@Mobius: Spring Time for Hitler is one of the most fucking hilarious things I've ever seen. And I hate musicals in general but this one rocked.

frozengod @ Jul 17th 2008 12:02PM

They clearly do it "4 teh lulz".

Seriously. No other explanation is valid.

bluestriker @ Jul 17th 2008 6:07AM

Wow, really? The same images with different effects put on them? Awesome!

Dan J @ Jul 17th 2008 7:36AM

Don't be silly... clearly it was the same images with the SAME effects.

What people don't realize is that this isn't actually a Duke Nukem trailer -- it's a trailer for the next GH3 DLC song, due out by September (and free).

Alexander @ Jul 17th 2008 6:15AM

The fuck? 4 minutes of logo dancing? Why?

Mal F4cti0n @ Jul 17th 2008 11:13PM

yeah, they could have accomplished it in about four seconds. I kept on watching (about half-way) waiting for the punchline.

twilightlynk.com @ Jul 17th 2008 6:27AM

You gotta have Balls of Steel to release a "trailer" like that.

opifex @ Jul 17th 2008 6:30AM

what the ****! was that?

meist3r @ Jul 17th 2008 6:35AM

Animated GIFs are so 90s

Xoviet chiK @ Jul 17th 2008 6:38AM

http://img398.imageshack.us/img398/733/a5edb06c1e99e5aabc677b1wh1.gif

meist3r @ Jul 17th 2008 6:55AM

dark_inchworm @ Jul 17th 2008 9:15AM

Xoviet chiK: I think I love you.

xGeneral DEATHx @ Jul 17th 2008 9:27AM

I saw her first.

Mr.ESC @ Jul 17th 2008 11:56AM

wrong I did,get your hands away from my girl.

tehvoid @ Jul 17th 2008 9:15AM

that's some kid work, right?

Ghen @ Jul 17th 2008 6:36AM

That was the most awful thing I've ever seen.

Dantarion @ Jul 17th 2008 6:36AM

Okay, since this NEEDS to be a joke....

How many shots were fired during the video?
How many different gas mask pictures are there?
How many times did they flash that one gasmask guy at the end?
Where was the random WWII looking background picture taken?
How many different sound effects/voice clips were used?

How many seconds in Adobe Premiere did this take to make?
Why was the music the best part?

Hansel @ Jul 17th 2008 6:50AM

This is the most hilarious thing i've seen all day, and i'm not even kidding.

Jtenma @ Jul 17th 2008 9:51AM

Seriously, I lol'd through the whole video XD

Grim @ Jul 17th 2008 6:52AM

Awesome! Now we've got four vapourware Duke titles!

Imadogg @ Jul 17th 2008 6:59AM

I don't get the hate cuz this is awesome.

jeegee @ Jul 17th 2008 7:05AM

This makes me sad :(

Snowblind @ Jul 17th 2008 7:10AM

I thought there were only two original Duke Nukem games coming, where does this "trilogy" come from? I assume their making a brand new one to go along with it?

Either way, I'd honestly rather play Duke Nukem 3D, if they ever get round to releasing that on XBLA.

Maverick Saturn @ Jul 17th 2008 7:14AM

I couldn't watch any more, its painfully embarrasing.

Deprincer @ Jul 17th 2008 7:24AM

This trailer is screaming game of the year! greatest preview ever.

Poke4Christ @ Jul 17th 2008 7:33AM

That video is what makes kittens cry.

Jfk Aok @ Jul 17th 2008 10:40AM

More like explode into little kitty pieces.

emotaku @ Jul 17th 2008 7:40AM

shit just got real.

people who don't realize this trailer is deliberately wallowing in its own campiness, i feel sorry for you.

Sparerib @ Jul 17th 2008 10:24AM

You know, if they would actually release something substantial I could laugh at this stuff all day long. But instead these "developers" put out this nonsense and for some reason they keep getting funding. So it may be the campiest thing I've seen all day, but in context it's just sad.

Jfk Aok @ Jul 17th 2008 10:44AM

In context, this shit tosses dynamite into your brain and laughs while you scream for help then licks the blood off the floor after you become nothing but red paint and flesh chunks.

MEGADEEEEEEEEEEETH

Hatch @ Jul 17th 2008 7:45AM

Sweet the old Megadeth Theme Song from the Duke Nukem Soundtrack Music to Score By.
Sounds a bit different and not as Heavy but still Rocks. I wouldn't mind playing this track on GH or RB. DLC anyone??

Hatch @ Jul 17th 2008 7:47AM

did it post? I got redirected to Dukes Crotch again

Yan @ Jul 17th 2008 8:04AM

Had me more entertained than this year's keynote speeches, I must say.

Shattercross @ Jul 17th 2008 8:11AM

Holy shit, a 5 minute teaser trailer- no one's ever done that before... DUKE BREAKS NEW GROUND!!!

Jfk Aok @ Jul 17th 2008 10:45AM

Joking aside, I'm fairly certain a trailer like this has never been done for that long. 5 minutes of logo. It's actually really freggin clever.

Shattercross @ Jul 17th 2008 12:22PM

I wasn't actually being sarcastic.

RichChap @ Jul 17th 2008 8:18AM

is this some kind of joke? This trailer is shockingly bad.

Jfk Aok @ Jul 17th 2008 10:40AM

No,
It's not a joke. They're being 100 percent serious.
I'm also being 100 percent serious when I say that I think you're a smart and observant person.

MN Guy @ Jul 17th 2008 8:20AM

The teaser was only longer than standard because they had to cover 3 games with it.

warlock7 @ Jul 17th 2008 8:24AM

Why do they continue to tease us this way?!?

Jomolungma @ Jul 17th 2008 8:27AM

That's the definition of pure genius people.

SleepNeed @ Jul 17th 2008 8:28AM

Now we know why DNF is taking so long, they want to make trailers with what look like cardboard cutouts and explosions to wanna be hard rock guitar.

Lijik @ Jul 17th 2008 10:46AM

You do know the music is the Duke Nukem theme, right?
Its not like they spent hours picking out some random "Guitar.mp3" file and went with it.

Faar @ Jul 17th 2008 11:24AM

Lijik,
You know, it's been so damn long since DN3D released that an entire new generation of whining internet kiddies have had time to (sort of) grow up, they just don't know what the DN theme song sounds like because they've never heard it. You can't even run DN3D anymore under a modern OS, and besides, they probably wouldn't like the graphics.

All they know about the game is it's a 10+ year long running internet joke these days.