Rumor: Ratner to turn God of War film into geek tragedy

by Justin McElroy { Jul 25th 2008 at 12:55PM }

We always think it's so bizarre when fanboys and girls start filling up our tips box with vitriol about the latest unpopular decision made by Sega, Square, Microsoft or practically anyone involved in the gaming industry. "Where do they get all that hate?" we wonder aloud, before going to donate more hugs down at the clinic. They would be a complete mystery to us were it not for Brett Ratner, who, according to a passing mention in a recent press release from MGM, has been tapped to direct the God of War film.

See, we hate Brett Ratner. Well, no, we don't hate the person. We're sure he's a perfectly nice man. But we hate everything he's ever put on film from Money Talks to X3 aka Brett Ratner's First-Person Theatrical Abortion. ... You know what? Forget what we said, we do hate Brett Ratner as a person. And if he directs God of War, it'll be awful, because all of his movies are awful and we don't know why he keeps being allowed to make them. The end.

Tags: brett-ratner, god-of-war, movies

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Reader Comments (Page 1 of 2)

ridestowe @ Jul 25th 2008 12:58PM

bahahaha completely agreed, justin.

Bryan @ Jul 25th 2008 1:23PM

Well, in fairness, Red Dragon was pretty decent. Of course, that was more thanks to a good story and good performances by Hopkins and Norton, rather than anything Ratner did.

Kyattsuai @ Jul 25th 2008 1:28PM

It also benefited from having a guy in a wheelchair being set on fire and rolled down a hill.

Eric @ Jul 25th 2008 2:58PM

Fuck Red Dragon! It was a shitty remake. Watch the Micheal Mann Classic "Man Hunter". Not only are the characters developed better but the flaming wheel chair scene is fucking scary. Fuck Ratner!

why not the LS2LS7? @ Jul 25th 2008 3:56PM

Red Dragon may have been okay, but it was pointless. Manhunter was fantastic and doesn't look dated even today.

I put Red Dragon right up there with the Van Zant Psycho remake or Jonathan Demme's remake of Charade. All of them are pointless, you'll never match the original.

t_m @ Jul 26th 2008 9:24AM

manhunter looks dated as hell... (mainly the 80s clothes and music)... but its still an awesome movie.

I don't think any brett ratner movies are BAD, they just all seem to be pointless. Red Dragon, Rush Hour, X3... they are all just watered down versions of better movies, and none of them have any emotional impact/connection at all.

Jody Anthony (gamertag and psn: JodyAnthony) @ Jul 25th 2008 12:58PM

haha, ouch!

WiNG [Life in a Game] @ Jul 25th 2008 12:59PM

Whenever someone tells me they liked X3, I cease talking to them forever.

Anam @ Jul 25th 2008 1:10PM

I liked it better than X2. But then I hated X2, so whatever...

Vegeta (aka Ska Oreo) @ Jul 25th 2008 1:11PM

What? X2 was fucking awesome and is the only bright spot in a mediocre film franchise. X-men was alright, and X3 pissed me off.

Anam @ Jul 25th 2008 1:24PM

Well, please note that I'm not an X-Men fan to begin with, so maybe that's part of it. While I liked X1 just fine (okay, some of the villains sucked), I had a few issues with X2.

NOTE: SPOILERS AHEAD

First, it had a bajillion characters and didn't spend time developing any of them. Maybe this was great for fans who just wanted to see all these characters, but I didn't care personally.

Second, with the exception of Pheonix (which, as a non-fan, I also didn't care about), nothing happened in the entire film. Or rather, everything that did happen was undone by the end of the film, like a bad TV episode. The bad guys joined the good guys, but then left again, big surprise. Some new enemies were made, but by the end of the film they were taken care of. Just... nothing in the film mattered. You could go from X1 to X3 and never know you missed anything, except you wouldn't know about Pheonix. That's it.

Thirdly, Wolverine's story sucked. They already pretty much explained it before, so now they just went in detail with it, but most of the details I had basically guessed anyway. And nothing that was learned changed the character of Wolverine. He was a badass that didn't know about his past and then he learned about his past and... well, nothing. It didn't change anything.

So basically, bad script and too many characters with too little development. What development there was was pointless, as were most of the introduced characters. I give it two stars.

Noshino @ Jul 25th 2008 1:42PM

Ok, I stopped reading after

"First, it had a bajillion characters and didn't spend time developing any of them"

That right there is bull, they spent time on most of the characters...

Iceman and his family
Pyro joining Magneto
Wolverine and his past
The Logan/Jean/Scott love triangle

and so on...

Anam @ Jul 25th 2008 1:49PM

Okay, perhaps I should rephrase and say "didn't spend enough time for me to care about the characters."

Better?

baby sea tuna @ Jul 25th 2008 2:13PM

No. Unacceptable.

DangerMouse @ Jul 25th 2008 3:49PM

I liked X3. Now leave me alone.

j/k. All the X-men movies were a joke looking back. They had so much potential, but i think they were a huge let down. had they waited a couple more years to start the series, they would've been so much better.

why not the LS2LS7? @ Jul 25th 2008 3:53PM

I liked X3. Ratner has made a lot of crap (I couldn't even finish watching Rush Hour 3), but X3 isn't part of it.

He also produces Prison Break on FOX and a lot of people seem to like that.

Nick8708 @ Jul 25th 2008 8:33PM

Wasn't the entire trilogy made before Marvel Studios had full control over the production of their films? I heard that Iron Man was the first Marvel film in which Marvel Studios was in complete control, which would make sense as to why there is such a large discrepancy in quality between the Spiderman, X-Men, and Fantastic Four trilogies, for example, and the new Marvel movies.

But one way or another, the X-Men trilogy had Patrick Stewart and Ian McKellen, so just imagine how much worse the movies would have been without a couple very good actors playing such pivotal roles :)

Nick8708 @ Jul 25th 2008 8:36PM

Oops, caught my own mistake. Fantastic Four wasn't a trilogy :-p

why not the LS2LS7? @ Jul 26th 2008 12:10AM

Marvel still doesn't have full control over the content of the films bearing their names. Not that it would make a difference if they did. Marvel can make mistakes as easily as Hollywood. Heck, they're more likely to do so.

ThornedVenom (Harley Quinn Defense Force) @ Jul 26th 2008 1:34AM

X2's greatest scene has to be the beginning White House scene.

Joe @ Jul 29th 2008 1:45PM

You know, compared to other comic movies (Daredevil, FF2) X3 isn't completely awful, just mostly. And if you don't know the comics then you might not hate it..

What makes it so bad is how much potential it had.. But yeah, I agree, Ratner sucks big ones..

EliteBeatsAgent08 @ Jul 25th 2008 1:00PM

I don't want to get banned so I'll just respectfully disagree with you.

NaeemTHM @ Jul 25th 2008 1:00PM

Ratner should stick to making Rush Hour movies and stop ruining established franchises.

Actually, I would probably see God of War with Chris Tucker as his side kick.

Tucker: DAMN YOUSE RIPPED OFF DAT GUYS HEAD! YOU CRAZY KRATOS!

*Kratos proceeds to chop off Tuckers head*

Boom! @ Jul 25th 2008 1:11PM

Kratos: TUCKER!!

Mr. Numeros @ Jul 25th 2008 1:23PM

Do you understand the blood that is coming out of my mouth???

CAHLITO @ Jul 25th 2008 2:12PM

LMAO!

Oh that was funny.

Ken Seang @ Jul 25th 2008 1:02PM

X3 and Rush Hour 3 were bad movies from him... To this day I forever hate x3.

deaftly @ Jul 25th 2008 4:50PM

Yea I remember seeing it in the movies and was just appalled when it finished. Ok Cyclops sucks, thats a given but you dont kill the guy! They basically just left the worst of the worst characters left (excluding wolvie and storm)

Nathew @ Jul 25th 2008 1:03PM

at least it's not uwe boll.

ANTCEP @ Jul 25th 2008 1:05PM

it could have been worse...

..... they could have chosen Uwe Boll

Noshino @ Jul 25th 2008 1:10PM

or worse, have them work together....

Jakka (Not sure why he got banned?) @ Jul 25th 2008 1:28PM

Well...God of War has got B-Movie written all over it.And say all you want, but Uwe does have a great passion for movies, no matter how bad they are.

Now give him a big budget, and I think this movie wouldn't be so bad after all.

Noshino @ Jul 25th 2008 1:32PM

Passion is one thing, Talent is a completely different thing

Jakka (Not sure why he got banned?) @ Jul 25th 2008 2:32PM

Yeah but how much talent do you need to direct a movie which involves a dude cutting other dudes?

Vote for Uwe!

Lord Bowser @ Jul 26th 2008 9:45AM

Could you leave Our Uwe alone, please. Thank you.

DaveP @ Jul 25th 2008 1:06PM

I think you gave too many hugs away down at the clinic.

dabamf @ Jul 25th 2008 1:09PM

Agreed...I'm still really pissed about X3. X2 was insanely good, no doubt in part to Bryan Singer's excellent direction (see "The Usual Suspects"). Unfortunately, Singer took a stab at Superman and failed miserably while Ratner was busy destroying the X-Men franchise. Why?!?!?!?!?!?!?! Curse you Athena!!!!!!!

FOXHOUND @ Jul 25th 2008 1:30PM

I don't blame Singer entirely for SUPERMAN RETURNS; mostly because of the subject matter.

He's a hard character to write for, in the same way that the FANTASTIC FOUR are difficult do. Their tales are so "clean-cut" or "cliche'd" by this point that anything socially taboo & dark(like the X-MEN) or highly violent(like 300) would throw off the theme entirely. Add on the fact that Superman is so difficult to defeat by normal means, and you're left with the constant "throw the Kryptonite at him and hope for the best" villain angle is recited ad-nauseam.

The one thing I will blame Singer and WarnerBros./DC Comics for; would be the fact that they listened too closely to their shareholders. Spending ridiculous amounts of money on those new-age Panasonic HD Cameras, the copious amounts of money on the suits & set designs, and literally letting them tarnish a good concept into something that might as well be a Saturday afternoon movie... that's what killed SUPERMAN RETURNS for me.

tcc3 @ Jul 25th 2008 3:12PM

You mean it wasn't superman being a peeping tom or a deadbeat dad?

You're right that Superman's relative power is always a problem, but there are options.

I think Parasite would make a formidable movie villain for example.

Mr Khan @ Jul 25th 2008 5:53PM

Or do a proper live-action movie about Doomsday, or even toss together a story about Darkseid

Bizarro would also be cool, except that it's such a dumb character as it stands, they would have to retcon him for it to not be a complete joke

t_m @ Jul 26th 2008 9:19AM

I know Superman Returns wasn't a huge success financially, but I really enjoyed it. I went with my girlfriend, who isn't into comic book movies at all, and she enjoyed it too. the only other comic book movie she hasn't hated was Batman Begins.

I thought it did a good job both capturing the feel of the old superman movies, and trying to do something a little more grown up and less teenage. It felt very similar in style to Batman Begins to me.

Are they making another one? Personally I hope so, and I wish they'd move towards a crossover Batman/Superman movie in the future.

(x3 did indeed totally suck though...)

WRE: I own all 3! (4 if you count the DS.) @ Jul 25th 2008 1:09PM

I'm still not seeing it, but at least it's not Michael Bay...

Vegeta (aka Ska Oreo) @ Jul 25th 2008 1:13PM

Thank god. Michael Bay is like Uwe Boll, except with a much bigger budget.

Shadow El @ Jul 25th 2008 1:33PM

Hey. Hey. I loved Transformers.

...haven't seen any other Michael Bay movies, though.

WRE: I own all 3! (4 if you count the DS.) @ Jul 25th 2008 1:43PM

Maybe you were watching a different movie than the rest of the world, but the live-action Transformers movie with Shia LeBeouf was terrible. All Bay had to do was show giant robots fighting and transforming for 2 hours and everything would have been okay, but could he do that? NO! He had to throw in some lame-ass masturbation jokes and dialogue that makes Star Wars Episode V sound coherent. But the worst thing he did was make the Autobots totally worthless. Why the hell were they even in the movie? Every Decepticon killed was killed by a HUMAN! And then, Bumblebee asked Optimus Prime's permission to speak. When, in the whole rest of the movie, did anyone ask Optimus Prime's permission for anything? And to add insult to injury they start making out on top of him at the end of the movie. I'm sorry, but Transformers was god-awful and that's a fact, not an opinion.

EliteBeatsAgent08 @ Jul 25th 2008 1:48PM

Now WRE

That's an opinion. One that millions of people completely disagree with you on.

WRE: I own all 3! (4 if you count the DS.) @ Jul 25th 2008 1:51PM

People can disagree all they want, but that just makes them wrong AND stubborn.

that guy @ Jul 25th 2008 2:45PM

Every Decepticon was killed by a human? I didn't know Optimus Prime was a human (hint: remember Bonecrusher?).

Now go away, because you are 100% wrong.

Zsavior @ Jul 25th 2008 3:30PM

Wre you are some sort of Movie messiah, for a while now I have been talking about the atrocity that was the Transformers movie. And you summed it up perfectly. Yet Bay is still out there waiting, directing, shooting, his crimes still unpunished, and ready to be released on an unsuspecting audience all over again.

I'm scared....really really scared.