LAN Party Massacre: yep, it's another video game movie
by Andrew Yoon 
{ Aug 7th 2008 at 8:15PM }
The unadulterated synopsis, seriously:
"LAN Party Massacre is a comedy/horror slasher film currently in pre-production under Creatively Bankrupt Productions. Set in the modern-day United States, the film is a direct parody of Video game culture, while at its heart a classic Slasher film. The F5 Energy Drink company sponsors a LAN party Tournament, inviting top gamers from across the nation to compete for a major cash prize and a chance to defeat acclaimed professional gamer (and F5 patsy) 'MORT@L1TY.' Hardcore players, bloggers, shut-ins, cosplayers, and gamers from every walk of life come to witness the event. However, when a gamer pushed too far into the virtual world of killing begins to hunt the other attendees, his body count far surpasses his score. Through a keen blend of absurd humor, clever video game references, notable video game celebrity cameos, as well as lots of blood, creative deaths, and practical gore, LAN Party Massacre appeals to both gamers and horror film buffs alike."
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Reader Comments (Page 1 of 1)
harusame @ Aug 7th 2008 8:26PM
That Power Glove is really bad
LocalToast @ Aug 7th 2008 11:09PM
He touched my breast!
The_Punisher @ Aug 7th 2008 8:26PM
Yes, yes we would. Something GOOD would be nice (Hitman wasn't half bad).
klepto88 @ Aug 7th 2008 8:27PM
You have to admit it... F5 energy drink is pretty darn clever.
Cannonater @ Aug 7th 2008 8:39PM
Agreed.
KEFIOX @ Aug 7th 2008 9:49PM
Pwn your thirst.
Averna @ Aug 7th 2008 9:54PM
Aye! The geekiest energy drink around :P Id buy it.
xtremuuuu @ Aug 8th 2008 12:10AM
I was like, F5? Then they said "refreeeeesh" and it ALL made sense! Clever enough!
Ritz @ Aug 7th 2008 8:29PM
wth
Ritz @ Aug 7th 2008 8:30PM
Also, ..."creatively-bankrupt"?
Saria the Cat @ Aug 7th 2008 8:57PM
More like "Creativity Bankrupt'd!" amirite?!
PS36Wii Fanboy @ Aug 7th 2008 8:43PM
*Spoiler Alert*
The killer is Mario.
PS36Wii Fanboy @ Aug 7th 2008 8:42PM
*Spoiler*
The killer is Mario, for some reason he just jealous Mario:Quake edition, never released
Boom! @ Aug 7th 2008 8:37PM
http://tinyurl.com/68uwh9
Boom! @ Aug 7th 2008 8:39PM
Darn lack of edit feature.
That would be the most awesome poster for this movie. =3
Magetto @ Aug 7th 2008 8:37PM
ಠ_ಠ
PS36Wii Fanboy @ Aug 7th 2008 8:44PM
lol oops sry thought the first one did not get through
Luke @ Aug 8th 2008 12:39AM
http://www.theonion.com/content/news/local_idiot_to_post_comment_on
Metal Gear!? @ Aug 7th 2008 8:51PM
Uh-oh, IT HAS BEGUN! Shao Kahn is at it again. It's a Mortal Kombat tournament in which, instead of fighting, you actually play Mortal Kombat.
Metal Gear!? @ Aug 7th 2008 8:54PM
Also, why won't my freaking profile pic change?
Followmeok @ Aug 7th 2008 8:57PM
I want to see it. Terrible or not, the write up has me intrigued, and I am all over lampooning FATAL1TY.
Dovi @ Aug 7th 2008 11:27PM
Don't you mean MORT@L1TY?
Saria the Cat @ Aug 7th 2008 8:58PM
*shakes head sadly* Clearly no gamers worked on this movie.
Monkeydog @ Aug 8th 2008 4:20AM
Just a little bit of looking in on it proves that a gamer did work on this, or at least he's probably a gamer. Matthew Mercer is a writer, who has voiced a few video game characters and anime characters.
However...despite this, I must agree with you on the point that this looks like crud.(at least that's what I believe you were trying to convey.)
Mean Things @ Aug 7th 2008 9:00PM
As long as it doesn't take itself too seriously (and avoids the "Epic Movie" style humor), I think this could potentially be really funny.
BBHood @ Aug 7th 2008 9:05PM
Wow, a lot of negative nancies here. The trailer commercial looks to me like a parody of G4 and other "hip gamer" ads. I'll admit, I chuckled.
Deadpool @ Aug 9th 2008 3:09AM
I would have to say this movie offends all five of my senses...heck even my sixth sense.
[whispers] I see crappy video game movies....all the time.
Shane-o @ Aug 7th 2008 11:40PM
I think this is gonna be fucking awesome.
j.howlett @ Aug 8th 2008 12:15AM
i'd watch it
freecajunlove @ Aug 8th 2008 2:34AM
I think this looks great: good satire, clever energy drink, and over-the-top gore. As long as it's not written by Jason Friedberg, Aaron Seltzer, Pual Haggis, Roland Emmerich, or Uwe Boll, I'll watch it the day it comes out.
Mr. Numeros @ Aug 8th 2008 10:15AM
GADGET!!!!
whiny bitch @ Aug 8th 2008 2:02PM
Best video game movie? King of Kong.
Moojuice @ Aug 8th 2008 6:10PM
wow i cant wait to watch this haha